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MS Security Guru Leaves for Amazon.com
Rocky Mann writes "Jesper Johansson, a security guru for Microsoft, is leaving the company to join Amazon.com. Johansson served for some five years as a 'senior security strategist', and is considered one of the world's leading experts on how to protect installations of Windows." From the article: "Johansson is also an advocate for the use of safe-passwords techniques in the enterprise. At the height of the WMF zero-day attacks earlier in 2006, Johansson offered measured advice on the use of unofficial patches and he was constantly on the move, traveling around the world to help customers figure out how to use Microsoft's products securely."
At some point in the conversation Mr. Ballmer said: "Just tell me it's not Amazon." I told him it was Amazon.
At that point, Mr. Ballmer picked up a chair and threw it across the room hitting a table in his office. Mr. Ballmer then said: "I'm going to fucking bury that company, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill Amazon."
Thereafter, Mr. Ballmer resumed trying to persuade me to stay....Among other things, Mr. Ballmer told me that "Amazon is not a real company. It's a library."
...he signed a Non-Compete Agreement with Microsoft so he's working as front door security.
Thanks god it is not Google. MS chairs will probably thank him publically.
Signature Pro version 1.13.2-3 release 83.5 beta3try7 after-breakfast edition
...my Amazon account.
"How to Do Nothing," kids activities, back in print!
the smartest man alive! "...and is considered one of the world's leading experts on how to protect installations of Windows."
The Tech Terminal
Cliche M$ humor attempt #1:
(#1a)
Amazon? Amazon? WTF?
I can imagine it now:
Some random M$: Exect #1
Amazon has enjoyed a moderate amount of success, therefore online book, CD, and video sales is obviously Microsoft's space. How dare they take food off of Microsoft's table by doing business in an industry kinda-sorta-maybe related to anything we at Microsoft do? And what the hell, now they're stealing our talent to do it? We own that space, we're in that space (maybe. somehow, in a future. Maybe we'll buy them out! Hey wait a second, we have a division called Microsoft Press, don't we? I think we can sue Mr. Johansson and put a stop to our competitors' stealing our employee!
Ballmer:
I'm going to F***ING KILL AMAZON! I'LL KILL THEM AND BURY THEM! I've done it before!
(meanwhile, Microsoft's new AI-equipped motorized chairs, which have been provided due to Ballmer's costing the company millions in damaged chairs and the need to avoid these recurring losses, detect Ballmer's impending annurism quickly roll out of the room)
(#1b)Bill Gates:
Meh. I've had my day of being a right ass. I couldn't be bothered being a hater any more. Besides, I'm quitting soon. *donates another $10bil to save the children to appease conscience*
Cliche M$ humor attempt #2:
A Microsoft Security expert? You mean, HE'S the reason Microsoft Windows is so "secure?"
Just what the hell is Amazon thinking?
(I kid, on both counts)
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
If I had been a 'senior security strategist' at Microsoft for the last five years... I'd leave that off of my resume!
Free crap from Amazon this Christmas!