Slashdot Mirror
Software Giants Seek Friends Among Hackers
Carl Bialik from WSJ writes "Big tech companies are engaging in a full charm offensive at the Black Hat hacker conference as they seek to convince hackers and security researchers to work with, not against, them, the Wall Street Journal reports. Among those being courted: HD Moore. The suitor is his erstwhile foe, Microsoft. From the article: 'Microsoft plans to wine and dine Mr. Moore at a party at the fancy Palms Hotel. A Microsoft security executive wants to meet with him to discuss his latest work. And earlier this year, the Redmond, Wash., company invited him to speak at a Microsoft-sponsored conference on security. "There were a few tense silences," says Mr. Moore, 24 years old, who lives in Austin, Texas. But he says the meetings put a human face on a company he once saw as impenetrable. "You're less willing to publicly humiliate someone you know in real life," he says.'"
Microsoft: "Welcome Mr. Moore -- it's a pleasure to meet you in person. What's that? You want a hug?"
*they hug* Moore: "Well, I must be going"
*he leaves*
Microsoft: "...wait a minute... HE STOLE OUR WALLETS!"
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
"You're less willing to publicly humiliate someone you know in real life,"
Does that mean I should try harder until they buy me dinner?
Microsoft is quite capable of this all by themselves.
sigh...
it's a blue bright blue Saturday hey hey
Extend . . .
(wait for it) . . .
Extinguish!
"Hi! I'm Clippy! I see you're exploiting loopholes in Windows. Would you like to:
"* Tell your zombies to phone home for a head count
"* Plant a malicious WMF at a popular web site to get more zombies
"* Do some illegal file sharing (since all file sharers are black hats)
"* I'm not a script kiddie and don't need any help
" (CANCEL) (OKAY)"
Courtship from microsoft would certainly cause me to go soft pretty quickly.
Badass Resumes
If that doesn't work, shoot them in the back of the head.
J.W. Booth
Badass Resumes
Mr. Moore sips a latte on his veranda on a brisk autumn morn. Some movement in his peripheral catches his attention. 'What the hell is that?' he wonders aloud. He tries to flick the small red dot from the front of his housecoat. Then with sudden horror, he realizes that that little dot is a projection. A laser projection. From a Microsoft sniper hidden in the shadows and fog. As he falls, dying, his last thoughts are of his recent dinner with Microsoft execs and what a naive fool he was to believe they loved him.
The assassin approaches the body and Mr. Moore. With a small shoulder radio he signals the job is complete.
"That's right. We got him. You shouldn't have to worry about Michael Moore any more" the assassin gloats.
"What?!" the voice on the line exclaims.
"I said I tagged that fat ass. He's dead. Let's see him make another inflamatory documentary now!"
"You killed MICHAEL Moore? Aw, crap...."
I judt got a nre Kinesis keybiartf so please excusr ant egregiou typos.
you pish poor example of a black hat.
Not true. Black hats do anything they want to entertain themselves, with no regard to the law. They'd gladly take jobs doing what they do for fun. They're not like evil villains in the movies, who do bad things because they're bad people deep down inside, and need a good-looking hero to go kill them.
ResidntGeek
In the words of Admiral Ackbar: It's a trap! ;-)
GAAH! MY PRINTER IS ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!
Actually, I was making a joke about my penis.
Badass Resumes
Is that what you think black hats are after when they try to hack microsoft, compiled versions of Windows?
Ms: As you can see Mr. Moore we've had our eye on you for some time now. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one life, you're H. D. Moore a 24-year old geek, you have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias H.D. and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not. I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be, Mr. Anderson. You're here because we need your help. My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you but I believe that you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start and all that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known system to a functional state. Moore: Yeah. Wow, that sound like a really good deal. But I think I got a better one. How about I give you the finger... and you give me my phone call.
Never underestimate the power of idiots in large groups