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Homeland Security says 'Patch Windows Now'

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the well-that's-paraphrased dept.

gregger writes "Wow, so the Department of Homeland Security is really concerned with Microsoft patches now... enough to come out and tell us to patch our machines. This warning, chronicled in eWeek, was issued less than a day after the release of 23 patches from Redmond. So, if you don't apply the patches, then what?"

15 of 381 comments (clear)

  1. Then What? by MinutiaeMan · · Score: 4, Funny

    "If you don't patch Windows, the terrorists win!"

    1. Re:Then What? by Ninjy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Pf, just wait until we respawn in the second round.

  2. OMG by broussem · · Score: 3, Funny

    Then your computer will blow up and we'll all die

  3. Re:Two Reactions by TheSpoom · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's my commerce, education, and ... uh ... love life.

    This is Slashdot, that last bit was assumed.

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  4. Hmm.. by TheOldSchooler · · Score: 3, Funny

    "So, if you don't apply the patches, then what?"

    They buy you a brand new Intel Mac! Courtesy of U.S. taxpayers.

  5. Ahh I can see it now... by Nicaboker · · Score: 4, Funny

    You wake to a pounding on your door. At your door are two men dressed in suits. you "Umm can I help you." Suits " You're under arrest." you "On what charge?" Suits "For not patching your windows computer." You "patch my what?? I use Linux!" Suits with a baffled look "Lin-what? Are you threatening us?" Suddenly more suits surround you and begin beating you while you hear "King Bill" laughing in the background.

    --
    So many choices, so little tolerance.
  6. Download link for patches by DoofusOfDeath · · Score: 4, Funny

    http://www.ubuntu.com/download :)

  7. I now practice secure computer usage. by krell · · Score: 3, Funny

    Considering this morning's prohibitions on taking liquids onboard (after a terrorist plot was uncovered), I'm resisting temptation so far to place my bottle of 'Dew in my computer's cup holder.

    --
    Where were you when the voynix came?
  8. Hey! by no-body · · Score: 3, Funny
    I am trying, but it crashes!

  9. Re:NSA patch by troon · · Score: 3, Funny

    hmm, what's with the black helicoptor outside. Woah, look at the scope on that guys rif

    Another strike from the Grammar and Spelling Department (Apostrophe Patrol).

    --
    Ydco co ,df C erb-y go. a Ekrpat t.fxrapev
  10. Cracking down on piracy by 192939495969798999 · · Score: 3, Funny

    They probably just want you to install WGA, which is required for new Windows patches... they probably saw my new motivational poster.

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    stuff |
  11. 68% by Gary+W.+Longsine · · Score: 3, Funny

    I agree 67.314159% with everything the OP said!

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  12. US Threat Level by NullProg · · Score: 4, Funny

    The U.S. government raised the security alert on passenger planes to its highest level for the first time on Thursday after Britain said it had foiled a plot to blow up flights to the United States.

    The government also raised the security alert level for Windows users from Purple to Pink after Microsoft announced it had foiled a plot to make Windows more secure.

    --
    It's just the normal noises in here.
  13. Or by Ruff_ilb · · Score: 4, Funny

    >_>

    That's what they WANT you to think

    _ /tinfoilhat on

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    http://www.TheGamerNation.com/Forums
  14. Re:Two Reactions by vwjeff · · Score: 4, Funny

    So, if you don't apply the patches, then what?

    The terrorists win.

    Simple logic.