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Ladies and Gentlemen, the Electronic Toilet

BlueCup writes "The bathroom has been one of the few places people frequent where digital technology hasn't taken over. Most people use toilets more often than iPods, yet the humble American commode has remained as low tech as things get, essentially a combination of pipes, levers and flaps. Computers are now invading the bathroom. For several years, manufacturers have been quietly pushing toilets and toilet seats costing $1,000 or more that use small, built-in computers and remote controls to add new features that warm, wash and dry you. As bathrooms become more upscale and luxurious, a digital toilet fits right in."

17 of 405 comments (clear)

  1. Asinine by BWJones · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Jeeeez, talk about flushing money down the drain....... :-)

    Seriously though, there are some things whose design has absolutely been optimized to a point where it would take a revolution in technology to make any changes worth while. Think about things like the doorknob, or a book, or a toilet seat, which arguably has been around since Roman times. Now you might say that technology has allowed an evolution of sorts in each of these examples, and that is true (mass production for the doorknob, printing presses, computer fonts and the Macintosh for books, and polymers for toilet seats), but each of these items works fundamentally the same as they have for hundreds of years such that a person from a hundred years ago could still recognize and interface with the device.

    Putting a computer on/in a toilet seat is...... *dare I say it?*....... asinine.

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    1. Re:Asinine by aiken_d · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I tend to agree with you. But then again, I'm sure that plenty of people said exactly the same thing when indoor plumbing replaced outhouses.

      -b

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    2. Re:Asinine by ericdano · · Score: 2, Insightful

      WTF. You serious? Why? If they can't open a freaking doorknob, what else can't they do? I mean, I'm all for ramps, hanicap parking and stuff, but there is a point where you just gotta say "look, you are going to need someone to do that for you".

      Of course, I also believe that California shouldn't have SPANISH on the ballots but whatever.......

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    3. Re:Asinine by The+Snowman · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Disabilities? Try turning a doorknob when your hands are full, for example, when carrying a box. Trust me, I moved three times so far this year. It's a pain in the ass. Door handles make this much easier. Just push down to turn, then walk forward. Works great. Also, handles are better than knobs if you're drunk.

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  2. Power outages by UbuntuDupe · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Back in May where I live, there was a severe storm that knocked out power for, depending on where you live, 12-72 hours. Being without power in the black of night with rain pounding on my windows and having to navigate with a flashlight made me realize how thankful I am that the toilet DOES NOT depend on electricity.

    Please folks, make sure the technology makes you better off than before.

    1. Re:Power outages by UbuntuDupe · · Score: 3, Insightful

      If you're making a subtle joke about the quixoticity of installing a whole dedicated backup battery generator, just so your toilet can use electricity, good one.

      If you're serious, well, that's going to far. All I want is for there to be some decoupling from the electrical aspect. For example, in the storm, I could still open my garage because it has a backup cord with which I can manually lift it open. Likewise, for the toilet, the plumbing could be run as now, with just the unnecessary electrical parts separate. But I just get the funny feeling that some moron is going to design it so that you literally *can't flush* merely because you lost power.

  3. The Toilet... by monoqlith · · Score: 3, Insightful

    is the most evolved piece of human machinery, if you measure evolution in the years it has existed in any form at all. Contrary to popular belief, cleansing your colon into a hole is the world's oldest occupation, not prostitution. You might have thought it was prostitution, but you are wrong. It's making cleveland steamers in a ditch.

    So I'm confused about this article. On the one hand, I'm pretty sure nobody's made any noticable improvements to bathroom equipment (toilet paper, plungers, sink, soap, etc) for however many years because maybe, dare I say it, it's one of a select few pieces of technology that we have that's done, perfect, finito in a design sense. It's reached a critical point of punctuated equilibrium in its development. All change after this point is slow and arbitrary.

    This may of course be shortsighted, but I think this is a good thing. I for one don't like to think about releasing the hostages(although, like anyone, I find it momentarily pleasing when it happens) or even attach all that meaning to it, and so the fact that the current equipment renders the process as unceremonious, functional and utilitarian makes everything in the room just what it should be: perfectly forgettable. I think baking the brownies is gross, and so now that we have mastered our bathroom thrones we can move onto a prettier stage in human evolution: the one where we forget about our logs.

    On the other hand, perhaps innovation in the bathroom should continue. I know there are plenty of embarassing things that happen in public bathrooms. Urinal separators could stand some improvement, and toilet paper dispensers need to be more automated and less frustrating when the roll runs out. I know it's really agonizing when you have been sitting there for ten minutes, you are missing a meeting or are in the middle of an exam, you have one sheet of two ply left to split among your cheeks, and you can't get the f-ing next roll to come down so you can squeegee your butt and skidaddle. Perhaps someone can innovate on noise blockers so someone with gastrointestinal stress won't have to wait till everyone who heard their noise pollution(or smelled their olefactory pollution) to leave before exiting stage front out of the stall and washing their hands. Boy those are some awkward moments

    But one thing's for sure: whoever comes up with a successful, widely applicable way to improve bathroom technology is a genius. And to that person: please come along soon and making sinking the Bismarck even more enjoyable.

    I have to take a crap.

  4. Re:Hold on, I'm expecting a fax.... by westlake · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Seriously, are we THAT dependent? I mean, no offense, but I dont feel a need to have a remote control to wipe my ass.

    We grow older. In time even the simplest of things become more difficult. The paperless, self-cleaning, toilet begins to look pretty good when the alternative is "assisted living" or nursing home care.

  5. Re:Korean Toilets by TubeSteak · · Score: 2, Insightful

    In many foreign countries, because of the bidet, the plumbing isn't designed to handle wads of toilet paper being flushed.

    When I was much younger, I found the idea of water squirting at my ass weird and as a consequence, ended up using the plunger quite frequently.

    Eventually, I grew up and got over my fear-of-things-that-are-different and had no more trouble while traveling overseas. Once you get used to it, it's no big deal & is a bit more hygenic than wiping your ass with paper.

    Hopefully that wasn't too much information

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  6. Oh dear... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    As long as our new toilets don't run Windows. I mean, isn't the bathroom the last place we have safe from Bill Gates influence?

    Besides, if that happens, the obiquitous BSOD (Blue Screen of Death) may be replaced by the even worse BFOD (Brown Flood Of Death). Thanks, but I'll pass.

  7. Re:Japan? by Bega · · Score: 3, Insightful

    High-tech toilets aren't always very fun.

    I had the questionable honor of getting to experience a 40C degree fever and a very liquid and fiery diarrhea, while being in Hiroshima. So, after a day of being half dead, I decided to go to the hospital. While I was waiting to get in to the doctor's office, I decided to go to the toilet.

    It was one of those high-tech toilets. The seat was awfully warm, but it was all good since I was freezing my ass off because of the fever, anyway. So, I took my dump, or whatever you could call it at that point, and was about to leave. "Wait a minute!", I thought for myself. "Where do I flush?"

    There were buttons for washing and drying my ass, there were buttons to adjust the temperature of the water, as well as the seat, some buttons even played some awfully nice and catchy music, while another button gave me a toilet flush sound (almost, but not the flush I was wishing for). So finally, I ended up not flushing the toilet, because there wasn't any kind of control for that function to be found. But it might've been me and my fever, I wasn't really thinking clearly back then.

    As an afterthought, I feel sorry for the next guy to use the toilet. Most of the high-tech toilets I've used, has had the water level so high that your balls usually touch the water when you sit there. Needless to say, three days account of random digestive byproducts in liquid form mixed into a huge amount of water might account for some nausea for some people. Might just be me.

    Yes, I know. "TOO MUCH INFO" etc etc.

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  8. Re:Korean Toilets by Kremmy · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Well, how often do you shower compared to how often you shit?
    How long do you wait between a shit and a shower?
    It's going to be effective because you aren't in the shower scraping dried crap-funk off your ass, you're gently washing away the fresh crap-funk that hasn't had a chance to get ingrained into the landscape. Simple, really.

  9. Re:Listen up, people by MidnightBrewer · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Don't knock it until you try it. There's nothing like coming out of a bathroom feeling as clean as when you went in. Next we'll be sneering at people who use showers when they know darn well that they're just going to be dirty again by tomorrow. Despite all the things Americans have invented technology-wise, we're still Luddites compared to the rest of the world. Go figure.

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  10. Re:Listen up, people by QMO · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Considering that I regularly, without gloves, shake hands with people, open doors and use phones and keyboards that are used by others, but have yet to touch a stranger's bare butt, I don't find it at all strange that washing hands is considered more necessary to hygine than washing the rear end.

    So, since I'm not even going to see your butt, let alone touch it, as long as I can't smell it, I don't care if you wash it.

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  11. Washing wiping. Anyday. In Asia. by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 2, Insightful
    Our verdict? While some features of the Swash 800 made our sit-down experience more of a luxury, we were unconvinced by its bidet-like cleaning and drying process.

    Most Asians consider wiping with paper not hygenic enough. Must wash with liberal quantities of water to be clean and to feel clean. In India and Middle East the recent toilets have a simple non-digital non-electronic bidet like attachment. It dispenses a horizontal stream of water from behind. In India it is quite common to see a hand shower attachement next to the flush tank.

    Only left hand should be used for washing. So the left hand is considered to be unclean and it is considered very disrespectful to give/accept something from someone using the left hand, in the Middle East and India.

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  12. Re:Listen up, people by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

    It can't be a lousy diet. My uncle has Crohn's very bad. When he was diagnosed, he was a high school track star and was in prime condition. Now he is very frail and probably weighs less than 100 lbs and is dying of small bowel cancer. He is only 43.

  13. Re:Listen up, people by wirefarm · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I live in Japan and when we bought our apartment, they installed a new toilet and Toto washlet. I thought it a bit over the top at first, but now would miss it if I had to go back to a featureless seat.

    When they were first introduced I think in the mid 1970's, the first commercial showed a pretty girl squirting a big blob of blue paint across her hand and then trying to wipe it clean with tissue. For maximum shock value, they ran the commercials at dinner time and though there were plenty of complaints from viewers, the mental image stuck and sales took off. There was a really good program here in Japan called "Project X" on NHK that told the whole story of the development and engineering of the things, including how the engineers had to find "shameless" women willing to be measured for adjusting the spray and such...

    Another time, I saw an interview with "Kin-san" and "Gin-san" a pair of 100-plus-year-old twin sisters--they asked them what they thought was the most amazing technological advancement made during their lifetimes and they answered "heated toilet seats."

    The thing is, these things are a lot cleaner. As far as bathroom hygiene goes, the more clean people are decreases the chances of things like Escherichia coli infections, Cryptosporidium infections, Giardiasis, Shigellosis and Viral gastroenteritis. Not just you, but also the people who prepare your food, take care of you in the hospital, care for your children, anywhere there is human contact. Ever get a "24 hour stomach virus" or food poisoning? It's likely because someone who handled something that you ate didn't wash their hands after going "number two." In other words, you got sick because you ate their poo.

    So, where you can't imagine that anyone but an unhealthy, lazy slob might want one of these, perhaps it's just a matter of different priorities?

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