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Ladies and Gentlemen, the Electronic Toilet
BlueCup writes "The bathroom has been one of the few places people frequent where digital technology hasn't taken over. Most people use toilets more often than iPods, yet the humble American commode has remained as low tech as things get, essentially a combination of pipes, levers and flaps.
Computers are now invading the bathroom. For several years, manufacturers have been quietly pushing toilets and toilet seats costing $1,000 or more that use small, built-in computers and remote controls to add new features that warm, wash and dry you. As bathrooms become more upscale and luxurious, a digital toilet fits right in."
And the warm water, once we got the temperature right, was also a luxurious twist on the normal bathroom experience.
The bathroom experience?
I'd rather see Larson's idea of a big light over public bathroom doors: "Didn't wash hands!"
Have you read my journal today?
Get your self a fancy shmancy hi tech toilet. I will stick with my old school mechanical toilet. And when the nukes and EMPs hit us, I will be the only one with a decent place to take a crap.
Most people use toilets more often than iPods
I can't remember the last time my iPod used the toilet...
Get your broadband enabled toilets today for a quicker download.
it's the Blue Plunger of Death!
Table-ized A.I.
I've had webcams in bathr.....
Nevermind, nothing to see here.
First off, a warning: this post may have too much information. That said...
Anyone here ever use one of those toilets with the built in ass washer? I visited Seoul a few years back and stayed with in-laws. Their toilet had a little control panel with various symbols on it for male, female, water, wind (no earth or fire, thankfully). I feared it for most of my visit, and never tried it out. Eventually though curiousity got the better of me and i pressed a button after I was done (male water). It made few little mechanical sounds and then a tiny sprayer started shooting warm water into my ass crack. It was so ticklish that I just about jumped off the seat; fumbling around with the controls to get it to stop. Eventually I succeeded, but man that was weird. Despite any potential improvement in hygene, I can't handle the ass tickling fountain thing. But hey, I say try it out sometime if you have the chance.
Cheers.
Being without power in the black of night with rain pounding on my windows and having to navigate with a flashlight made me realize how thankful I am that the toilet DOES NOT depend on electricity.
And when lights came on, you realized that it wasn't the toiletseat you were sitting on...
Geek 1: I heard you were in hospital. What happened?
Geek 2: My computer froze then fried my penis.
Geek 1: Oh well at least it wasn't anything vital
Geek 2: Normally yeah, but I'd just signed up for 2 years of penthouse.com
These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
I welcome Gnu inventions, that help with free time.
I means, it's used in the stall, man.
Better that you nix the rest of this post. before it gets really bad.
Have you read my journal today?
Forgot to mention it's speficially designed for Pee-er-to-Pee-er use.
Actually, it's not the "down stream" of water we need to worry about. It's the Quality of Shit we want to "upload."
Basically, the waterco's want to charge us depending on the types of poo we upload.
Larger poo clogs the infrastructure. Where will these companies acquire the funding to upgrade it? They have no choice but to charge the source of the "content." People like you and me.
Time to buy more apple cider. Save the Toilets!
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>Most people use toilets more often than iPods.
No shit.
Sorry.
If your defecation is so out of control that you need a $1000 toilet to help stay "fresh", then maybe you should address your diet. If everytime you have a sit down you end up with explosive shit-chunks plastered all over you nether regions, then SOMETHING IS WRONG. If you need a computer-assisted washdown, you are a sick animal. You need to get your fat ass out of the Taco Bell line and down to the produce aisle of your local grocery store, stat.
This bidet garbage was invented when contaminated water gave everyone a daily dose of the runs. You should not need it today. If you do, you are unhealthy.
Think like a programmer! You can always improve the interface to be more user friendly.
Holy crap! (Pardon the pun). A few modifications and this thing could be your workstation chair. Really kick those coding marathons into high-gear!
"Buy 50 cases of Bawls and get a GreatJohn office chair for half off!" Coming soon to ThinkGeek.
"What do you despise? By this are you truly known." --Princess Irulan, Manual of Muad'Dib
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Too much informative :-P
"May the days be aimless. Let the seasons drift. Do not advance the action according to a plan."
Do you get a BSOD?
(Brown Shit of Death)
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
Perhaps more to the point, a toilet is the classic example of something that is mission critical. Sometimes safety critical, I'd suppose. It has to work under all sorts of conditions (e.g. power outage/flat battery) where it's not a huge deal if other devices like the iPod don't work.
The simplicity of a toilet is one of its strengths. Less can go wrong because there's less to go wrong.
sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
Have you ever even seen an outhouse?
Speaking of outhouses: I have two words for you black widows.
I'll see your black widows and raise you a redback
Snakes and crocodiles aren't really that much of a problem in Australia; the spiders pretty much keep them in line.
Do not mock my vision of impractical footwear
Pfft. Redback. I got bitten by one of when I was four and all that came of it was a few days off kindergarten and a whole backet of jellybeans... After I was rushed to hospital and delivered anti-venom.
Lousy parents didn't take me to the hospital till the next freaking morning. Stupid irresponsible father.
Why does the term "core dump" come to mind?
:)
Sorry, couldn't resist!
"Welcome. I am honored to accept your waste."
Homer: The toilet recommended a place called Americatown.
The thing is, these "flaws" of toilets are what give them their charm. Sitting next to me is a 70-year-old, worn-down toilet that I alone have used a number of times (not to mention its numerous prior owners). If you were to take away the personality, the weak flushing and beauteous stains, the feel of the seat, the heft and mass, I'd rarely crap in it; it would merely be another toilet sitting in my living room or what-have-you. Certainly, I run the risk of losing it after a curry, but I accept that risk because I'm just so glad to have it.
:-p)
(sorry
The revolution will not be televised... but it will have a page on Wikipedia
I see your redback and raise you a redneck... actually, I'm gonna raise a hundred rednecks, yargh har! My own redneck zombie army!!!
wouldn't that be the KKK?
Hey, there is only one Return and it's not of the King, it's of the Jedi.
I have a friend in Ohio whose iPod took a shit earlier this year. By last count, I's sure she has taken at least that many in the last day. So yeah, does use the toilet more than her iPod. And mine has never used it. Unless it's sneaking around behind my back.
It's a girl!
*New* digital technology?? I don't get it. I've been doing number 1's and 10's for years.
Crappy The Toilet Brush: It looks like you need to go to the toilet. Would you like to a) Urinate or b) Defecate?
...ack...
John Q. Toiletuser: Just lift the damn lid, I'm busting!
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Would you like to a) Urinate or b) Defecate?
John: Oh Jesus! Err..."Defecate"
Crappy: Please answer "a" or "b". Would you like to a) Urinate or b) Defecate?
John: For fuck's sake! "B" *winces in pain from the stomach cramps* OW! HURRY!
Crappy: You chose to defecate. Thank you. Would you like me to pre-warm the seat? Yes/No?
John: I DON'T CARE! JUST LET ME SIT DOWN!
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Please answer "yes" or "no".
John: NO!
Crappy: You selected "no". The seat will not be pre-warmed. Will you require a) Durable toilet paper, or b) Extra soft toilet paper.
John: ARRGH! I don't care! It's on the move! Umm...err..."b"
Crappy: ERROR #E4F0: EXTRA SOFT PAPER NOT FOUND
John: "DURABLE" THEN!
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Please answer "a" or "b".
John:
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Please answer "a" or "b".
John: Forget it. It's too late. "CANCEL". I'll have try my luck with the shower and the washing machine.
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Please answer "a" or "b".
"Proudly Posting Without Reading The Article"
you sir, must take one mean dump. are you sure your diet is ok?
Slashdot... news for turds, stuff that splatters.
Windows isn't the answer... it's the question. NO is the answer!
Splashdot...news for turds, stuff that splatters?