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Cloned Beef Coming Soon?
An anonymous reader writes "According to this article at Popular Science cloned beef may be coming soon. It talks about using meat within 48 hours of slaughter to allow cloning the best possible specimens, something that is not possible to determine while the animal is still alive. Apparently only 1 in 8000 animals is truly the best. Personally I'd love to see us progress to the point where it was possible to grow just the meat itself without the animal. That would end all the ethical issues with raising an animal for food, potential issues from mad cow disease, bird flu and whatever the next media induced panic is."
I browsed through an old story, found the first post, and cloned it.
According to this article at Popular Science cloned beef may be coming soon
That sounds like the plot of a b-horror-porn movie starring a resurrected John Holmes.
Push Button, Receive Bacon
Apperently you've never tried processed cheese.
Begun, this clone BBQ has.
Please contact us. We have employment opportunities for people who think like you do.
Sincerely,
The Soylent Corporation
Indeed. Can I interest you in some human meat grown on my human farm?
What about cloned sex workers?
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
-- Pablo Picasso
Steaks made from clones.
Can't you just see the horror movie?
Dr. Jackson stared in horror at the meat growing vats as he slowly realized what had happened. He felt growing nausea, his stomach threatening to turn his delicious former meal into a mouth-fired projectile.
His assistant saw the look on his. "Dr. Jackson -- what is it? What's the matter?"
He slowly turned to her. He couldn't help but imagine the juicy, tender beef passing her lips -- or what he thought was beef.
"My God, Janice. It all makes sense. When I added the beef cells to the cloning solution -- the cut on my finger -- the blood, the blood THE BLOOD --" he couldn't continue.
"No!" Janice screamed, her hands holding her mouth. "But -- that was months ago --"
Dr. Jackson slowly nodded. "The entire East Coast has been eating -- ME!"
Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
...as far as I can see, nobody has posted the Bob the Angry Flower comic yet. AWESOMELY funny and somehow totally on topic at the same time :-)
Consciousness is a myth. Trust me.
Cloned beef and cabbage. Yummm!
Deja Food... the feeling that you've had this meal before.
That green slime had it coming.
I think he's thinking more like Bob's invention!
http://angryflower.com/vegeta.gif
Fellowship 9/11
Was it treated humanly? Fed well, given lots of exersice?
I give bread to the poor, they call me a saint.
I ask why the poor have no bread, they call me a communist.
Personally, I'd like to see this progress to the point where we can grow Shakey's Pizza restaurants without the use of embryonic stem cells.
The only truly ethical solution is to genetically engineer a cow that wants to be eaten. Preferably, the cow should be engineered to be sufficiently intelligent to go up to the diner and tell them how delicious it is, and ask them how they would like to eat it.
Leela: "Animals eat other animals. It's nature."
Free Waterfall Junior: "No it isn't. We taught a lion to eat tofu."
Lion: *cough* *pause* *cough*
"Note: I do eat meat, but that's because I am spoiled and like how it tastes."
As a vagitarian I... oh never mind.
Need Mercedes parts ?
Personally I'd love to see us progress to the point where it was possible to grow just the meat itself without the animal. That would end all the ethical issues with raising an animal for food, potential issues from mad cow disease, bird flu and whatever the next media induced panic is.
Let's take it to next logical step. Why not clone human flesh? I mean after all there'd be no ethical issues involved with it. They could take those new ethicly created stem cell lines to make human meat. And since breast milk is the best, why clone giant boobies to produce all of our dairy needs. No I see no ethical problems at all.
"You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
Bravo! I'd definitely go see that movie! Make sure Samuel L. Jackson stars.
OTOH, if and when human muscle can be grown in a vat, will the taboo against eating human flesh fade away? After all, it's not hurting anyone... I can imagine it starting as an outre stunt, and then becoming an underground thing, before eventually moving on to become a minor fashion, and eventually becoming a fact of life. Imagine the marketing they could do at the grocery store: "Genuine Paris Hilton breasts and thighs, $3.99/lb"
I don't care if it's 90,000 hectares. That lake was not my doing.
I would love to see us progress to the point where cows are well fed, happy and healthy.
...
It would probably be more economic to just grow vat people with simple feeding requirements and a finger to push the factory button. That way the upper class could more efficiently use their vast resources to maintain their inefficient, old-fashioned naturally-grown selves
If I was a scientist, you know what I would clone? Hot dogs! Think of all the possibilities, Norm! Imagine, a world with...Hey, what's going on?...Imagine...hold on! Imagine a world with an endless supply of hot dogs! You could have a hot dog anytime you wanted! They'd be so abundant, they'd become our currency! 20 hot dogs would equal roughly a nickel, depending on the strength of the yen, I'm not quite sure, but...you know what, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just keep praying that we can clone one of these hot dogs.
I saw it on Slashdot, it must be true!
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Damn, am I the only who read "corn beef" coming soon?
Dang dang. Why isn't it coming soon?
Can't you just see the horror movie?
Steaks on a Plane!
.evom ton seod gis eht
[Fuck Beta]
o0t!
I love this idea, I would much rather make my own meat than take it from a nice, innocent bovine who happens to be using it at the moment.
All of my beef comes from mean, guilty bovines that are no longer using it themselves.
Yeah, if it's cooked rare and made of cow muscle.
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I eat a lot of imitation tofu. I'm personally opposed to cruelty to soybeans. So I eat tofu substitutes made from chicken, beef, pork...
Us plebs would be scoffing down crappy cloned meat which will probably kill us, whilst execs in their skyscrapers will be licking real organic gravy off the tits of $3000 call girls.
Maybe I'm thinking too cyberpunk here.
If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we shoot people for Apollo-related non-sequiturs?
No argument here, tofu is superb. The real question is "what for" because edible, it is not.
Cool! Dinner for 89 cents!
We have to eat every m*****f****ing steak on this m*****f****ing plane!
f u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmng