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The Ultimate Blog Post

An anonymous reader writes to mention Lore Sjöberg's 'Ultimate Blog Post'. He goes over the history of the blog (dating back over 2000 years), and conveniently condenses out the perfect blog posts for a few notable sites. From the article: "Boing Boing: Crocheted replica of subway map cracks DRM on collection of old video games. FARK: Drunk frat boy in Florida has sex with underage donkey, sues Strong Bad for negligence. Still no cure for overused in-jokes. Slashdot: AMD, SCO patent MP3 over TCP/IP, sue ATI, EA. Microsoft probably responsible somehow. Engadget: Samsung releases new cell phone/mp3 player/camera/web browser/GPS/game player/wireless hub. Now in gray! Joystiq: Will Wright to design first-person Warcraft shooter for the Wii. Jack Thompson responds with aneurysm."

19 of 93 comments (clear)

  1. The Ultimate Comment by BigZaphod · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dupe anonymous first post is -1 off-topic but insightful because Linux rules and Zonk sucks.

    1. Re:The Ultimate Comment by DarkIye · · Score: 3, Funny

      You forgot to mention it was already on digg.

  2. line breaks help... by Danoz · · Score: 5, Funny

    Boing Boing: Crocheted replica of subway map cracks DRM on collection of old video games.

    FARK: Drunk frat boy in Florida has sex with underage donkey, sues Strong Bad for negligence. Still no cure for overused in-jokes.

    Slashdot: AMD, SCO patent MP3 over TCP/IP, sue ATI, EA. Microsoft probably responsible somehow.

    Kottke: Elwin Festerator is the unsung inventor of the curly telephone cord. "I looked at a straight telephone cord, and I asked myself, Elwin, why can't that be curly? So I went out and got my brand-new curling gun, and I curled the hell out of it." Related link: New Yorker article on the Olympic curling team.

    Engadget: Samsung releases new cell phone/mp3 player/camera/web browser/GPS/game player/wireless hub. Now in gray!

    Joystiq: Will Wright to design first-person Warcraft shooter for the Wii. Jack Thompson responds with aneurysm.

    Groklaw: Transcript of SCO deposition on previous court order concerning applicability of evidence to last year's motion to review earlier statements. Seriously, we love this stuff.

    Daily Kos: Bush caught in three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

    Little Green Footballs: Bush enjoys triumphant three-way with Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

    Gawker: Paris Hilton does pretty much anything.

    Cute Overload: A kitten licks a puppy while the puppy licks a bunny.

    Fleshbot: Same as Cute Overload, only with coeds.

    MacRumors: Apple is going to sue us for revealing that Apple is going to sue us.

    MAKE blog: How to create a nuclear accelerator using a Flash drive, a Commodore 64 and a guy named Roger.

    Metafilter: Unhelpful link text. Extra links added for padding that have little to do with the main topic of the entry. Are extremely loaded rhetorical questions the only thing that can save us now?

    Digg: Hey, cool, someone wrote an article about Digg!

    1. Re:line breaks help... by Linker3000 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Which all just goes to show that satire on the wrong hands is just plain dull.

      --
      AT&ROFLMAO
  3. This is not the ultimate blog post by TaPotski · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is just a tribute

  4. Ultimate Reply by Inoshiro · · Score: 3, Funny

    Cowboy Neal

    --
    --
    Internet Explorer (n): Another bug -- that is, a feature that can't be turned off -- in Windows.
  5. Hmm... by Golias · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Lore is a funny guy who I have found entertaining for nearly a decade, but if this particular nugget of wit was written by some random blogger that nobody had ever heard about, would it really have made the front page of Slashdot?

    I mean... It's kinda-sorta funny. I guess.

    It doesn't really hold a candle to his "I'm Somebody's Fetish" T-shirts, though.

    --

    Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

    1. Re:Hmm... by daniil · · Score: 3, Interesting

      There does seem to be a lot of 'blog posts as news' at the moment.

      This actually makes sense, if you consider how most Slashdotters seem to feel towards the mainstream media (they don't seem to be too fond of it) and everything "open source" (media included). If the /. editors support "grassroots media", it makes perfect sense that they would consider blogs as news sources to be equal with "real" ones.

      --
      Man is a slave because freedom is difficult, whereas slavery is easy.
    2. Re:Hmm... by Jerf · · Score: 2, Informative
      Though I withhold judgement until some confirmation comes.
      You do that with "normal" news too, right?

      I mean, the shit that passes for "unbiased" news lately is pretty freaky.

      What's more, of those obvious frauds I linked to, only one really got to be a big story; most of the rest non-blog readers will be ignorant of, even though they're about as well established as a proof of a lie or manipulation can possibly be.

      The media is 100% untrustworthy on war reporting, and it's hard to see it as anything but deliberate. In other fields, they're still pretty untrustworthy, but it's more because of ignorance, I think. (Check out your local college's journalism cirriculum, then explain to me why a "journalist" is qualified to write about politics, science, police investigations, or any number of fields rich with traditions, philosophy, and/or technology.)

      The difference between the media and blogs is mostly that one is on TV, and the media pretty much slants one way whereas on blogs you can find everything.
  6. They forgot: by doxology · · Score: 5, Funny

    LiveJournal: So, in my desperation and eternal angst, I created another piece of art to put on Deviant Art. Also, Puffy had kittens and I saw a green Volvo on my way to college. I dreamt about horseradish last night.

    MySpace: OMG! T0day, me slit wrists again. i so emo! it cuz i make video for knew my chemical romance song! watch it [here]! comment me plz! thx bai!

    Xanga: i scraped knee today when goig to kindergarten. dreamt about pony. hope toof fairi gives me $$ so i can bye lickorish. dreamt of ponies lsat night!

    --
    sigfault. core dumped.
  7. 2000 years? by ArwynH · · Score: 2, Funny
    He goes over the history of the blog (dating back over 2000 years)

    IIRC 'blog' is short for 'weblog'. I must be tired or something, because I fail to grasp how a WebLog can predate the Web by aprox. 1970 years...

  8. The Egyptians are going to be pissed by prgrmr · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Not only were they left out, the Romans got the credit for inventing the blog even though the Egyptians were blogging in the pyramids millenia before Rome was even pitched as a VC bid.

  9. Short version by kbox · · Score: 2, Insightful

    In short "Writing stuff down has been around a while".. Real? Wow. Deep.....

  10. Lore Sjoberg by nganju · · Score: 2, Informative

    Lore Sjoberg is probably best known for his hilarious, now defunct website Brunching Shuttlecocks, and the "Ratings" column he used to write on that website. You can still read the past columns right here. The ones about classic video games and Dungeons & Dragons characters are especially funny.

    --
    There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Those that can keep their train of thought,
  11. Re:No comment? by daniil · · Score: 2

    Not that yours added anything to the discussion...

    --
    Man is a slave because freedom is difficult, whereas slavery is easy.
  12. Great introduction, there. by Weatherman-au · · Score: 2, Funny

    While blogging has only reached prominence in the last few years, it was actually invented by the ancient Romans who built a majestic blog in 200 BC from marble, granite and links they stole from the Greeks.

    "Blog" itself is short for "weblog," which is short for "we blog because we weren't very popular in high school and we're trying to gain respect and admiration without actually having to be around people."


    Oh come on, now. When you consider the fact that a blog is nothing more than someone's diary, posted online, it seems a bit puerile to suggest that it's been around for thousands of years. Well of COURSE it has. It just wasn't called a blog then.

    And as he mentioned in the second sentence of the FA, blog is short for WEBlog. Shouldn't he then need to say how the WEB was invented during the last 20 years?

    I know, I know, blah blah creative license blah blah, but this just seems like a really cheap writing trick. [/style nazi]

  13. Ultimate karma whoring thread hijack. by skids · · Score: 3, Funny

    With link to what poster believes is really the ultimate blog post, what will jam your browser solid unless you have oodles of RAM were you to open the 2k+ comments at the bottom of said ultimate blog post.

    http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/7/25/03646/ 9549

    Reminder that poster DID warn you about getting your browser jammed up.

    1. Re:Ultimate karma whoring thread hijack. by NickFitz · · Score: 2, Funny

      Obligatory Apple user comment that Safari loads it just fine. Link to Apple but lacking "http://www." resulting in it giving a Slashdot 404.

      --
      Using HTML in email is like putting sound effects on your phone calls. Just say <strong>no</strong>.
  14. Hmmm, what can I say here... by ElVaquero · · Score: 3, Informative

    AMD, SCO patent MP3 over TCP/IP, sue ATI, EA. Microsoft probably responsible somehow.