Slashdot Mirror


Hypothetical Death Match - E-mail vs. the Web

netbuzz writes "If you had no choice but to choose, which would you give up: access to e-mail or the Web? Both still exist, just not for you. Read how others are defending their decisions — and how a few just refuse to choose." From the article: "From Stewart Deck: 'The Web has become intertwined into so much that I do and so much that I want to know and learn about that without it I might as well move to a grass hut in Irkutsk. The Web brings me closer to words, thoughts and ideas far beyond my geographical boundaries. I use it for information, education, insight, entertainment, EVERYTHING. ... I certainly enjoy the convenience of e-mail but I think I could put together work-arounds that would hold up reasonably well in its absence.'"

19 of 170 comments (clear)

  1. Decisions, decisions... by MrNaz · · Score: 4, Funny

    Bob's sweating brow arched over the red buttons. Intensely aware of the large calibre handgun just behind his ear and the maniac holding it who was now forcing him to choose which button to press, he was unable to decide whether to remove email or web access from his life. His pleadings to the madman had been to no avail, it had come down to choosing. His hand strained, hovering over the fateful buttons, veins bulging under the skin as his blood pressure rose and his body temperature boiled his brain. The pain of impending loss was too great, made all the more horrible by the knowledge that it would be done by his own hand.

    "Hurry up!" Snapped the crazed madman from between rotten teeth and foul breath. "I ain't got all day!" As he prodded the gun forward, digging the heavy barrel into Bob's temple, Bob quivered in fear. He knew from watching Dirty Harry movies that a handgun like that would blow his head clean off, the brain matter he was so proud of scattered over the ground like so much wet, red confetti.

    Our geeky hero let out a strained whimper, a silent pleading for someone, anyone, to intervene and save him from this horrible choice. Simultaneous images of mailing lists and blogs swirled in his tortured mind. Finally, a decision took form. It took form with the certainty of the iceberg in front of the Titanic, and just like then, he came to the bitter conclusion that his fate was unavoidable.

    Slowly, he turned to the madman. The fear had given way to a stony resignation and determination. He looked the madman straight in the eye and said "Shoot me, asshole."

    --
    I hate printers.
    1. Re:Decisions, decisions... by BobBobBobBobBob · · Score: 3, Funny

      I'm five times the Bob you are.

    2. Re:Decisions, decisions... by msobkow · · Score: 2, Funny


      Once Bob was done with his dramatic thrashing, flailing, sweating, and panic, the IT department decided for him: no email.


      One way or the other, Bob would be forced to speak to a human being.


      "Better unplug the fax machine, too."

      --
      I do not fail; I succeed at finding out what does not work.
  2. The web by free+space · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I'd rather have the world's largest public library than the world's largest postal service.

    Also, people can communicate by leaving post-it notes on books :)

  3. Email just has to go by Deltaspectre · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I could live without email as it hasn't been hopelessly intertwined into my life.... yet. I could always set up a discussion board/similar on my website for people to post whatever they wanted to email me with. Oh! And then I could have a program automatically parse that. And to post my replies!

    Wait, what are we defining email as?

    --
    My UID is prime... is yours?
  4. No contest! by gasmonso · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Internets and it's vast network of tubes is far superior to email. Porn is on the net, not in email.

    http://religiousfreaks.com/
  5. What would I give up? by celardore · · Score: 2

    Email. No thought required. I work in an office, and I get a ton of emails every day. Each one of them tends to cause work for me.

    If HTTP was blocked at work though, I'd be looking for another job pretty quick. Saying that, my new company recently decided that I must take lunch at 12pm rather than 1pm and that was enough for me to accept interviews at other companies.

  6. One has a Replacement...One Doesn't... by Quaoar · · Score: 4, Interesting

    If I want instant access to information, the web is my only choice.

    If I want to talk to someone, I can use this fancy technology that I like to call a "phone."

    The only people who I could see picking e-mail over the web are those who are either deaf or mute, or are so socially inept that they can't talk to people over the phone.

    --
    I'll form my OWN solar system! With blackjack! And hookers!
  7. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  8. So what are we choosing again? by Omega+Blue · · Score: 2, Insightful

    So we don't have e-mail? Like SMTP and MAP/POP got zapped overnight? No sweat, we still have Web-based services such as gmail.

    So what's that we need to decide again?

    1. Re:So what are we choosing again? by nacturation · · Score: 2, Informative

      So we don't have e-mail? Like SMTP and MAP/POP got zapped overnight? No sweat, we still have Web-based services such as gmail.

      Well, email is delivered to your gmail account via SMTP. Granted, this could be replaced with something else... eg: RSS feeds which contain messages signed to your public key or something to which you could subscribe, but as it stands your gmail account would grind to a halt without SMTP.

      --
      Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
  9. Random ruminations... by kebes · · Score: 5, Insightful
    As you, my first thought was "what about webmail?"... however the article says:

    This is an academic exercise (obviously) so there will be no cheating allowed. No IM, text messaging or Web mail to substitute for e-mail.

    I'm not sure why IM is considered cheating if you give up on email. (You can't IM someone you don't know out of the blue; most companies don't have IM addresses listed, etc.) If IM is 'cheating' then isn't the telephone cheating, too? What about IRC? Is that cheating?

    As the author says it's purely academic. My problem with these 'what-ifs' is that because they are unusual, the only way to give a sensible answer is to know all the extraneous details that are left to the imagination. What are the repercussions of breaking the rule? What are the limitations? What are the rules? Is it cheating to put up messages on forum, then phone your friends and tell them to go reply? On the flip side, it's probably cheating to email people and ask "can you do a google search and tell me..." but is it cheating if you just email them the question? In this day and age, if you ask someone a question, they'll start with a web-search anyways.

    If I had to decide, I'd also select the web. Email is one of many communication modes available today (and its functionality is easily emulated elsehow), but when it comes to information collection/dissemination, the web is really unique.
  10. Re:Give up the Web? Never! by orangesquid · · Score: 2, Interesting

    You can duplicate the functionality of email with the web (and maybe the other way around), but, what if you don't?

    What if it's broken down to this: do you want the ability to communicate with other human beings only, or the ability to obtain information from computer databases only?

    Perhaps that's more of where the question was aiming...

    --
    --TheOrangeSquid Is it any wonder things seem so awry? We swim in a sea of confusion and don't have to think to survive
  11. Somehow I doubt it. by MarkusQ · · Score: 4, Funny
    My UID is prime... is yours?

    Somehow I doubt it. But I'm pretty sure it's expressible as the sum of two primes.

    And I'm positive that it's expressible as the product of twenty two or fewer primes.

    --MarkusQ

    P.S. And to answer the main question, I couldn't do without either. Just the thought of having all that productive time back gives me the heebie jeebies.

    1. Re:Somehow I doubt it. by dynamo52 · · Score: 2, Funny

      2,2,11,53,193

      --
      Like this comment? I accept Bitcoin! - 153sc8UUBXyp12ofQqfAWDmJrzyiKCYC1x
  12. Pitch email! then re-invent it and reap the profit by plasmacutter · · Score: 2, Insightful

    yep.. since email is implemented via IP packets, you pitch it and straight away code the protocols for the exact same thing.

    patent it..

    give it away free to pro-gpl and anti-drm groups, and charge proprietary houses and DRM vendors through the nose for your fortune! : )

    --
    VLC FOR MAC IS DYING! IF YOU DEVELOP, PLEASE SAVE IT!!
  13. I want to say eMail... by ellem · · Score: 3, Funny

    but the prices on v1aGR4 are so good... and a really important person from Nigeria just sent me an offer you will all be jealous of... and besides I don't think the web has all these .scr files I get.

    --
    This .sig is fake but accurate.
  14. Re:Email is a subset of the internet by kv9 · · Score: 2, Informative

    the web is also, to use your own words, "a subset of the internet". rtfa/blurb again.

  15. If I had email or the web... by argent · · Score: 5, Funny

    If I had either SMTP or HTTP it would take me no more than a few days to get the other, and that's if I had to write the proxy myself, using nothing but an Apple ][ and a 300 baud modem. In Forth. Without a language card. On a MONOCHROME monitor. Uphill. In the snow. Both ways.

    How about Usenet? Do I get NNTP? Gopher? FTP? Telnet? UUCP?

    Christ, what a STUPID question.