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Sony Announces Global Battery Recall

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the fewer-explosions-has-to-be-a-good-thing dept.

snafu109 writes "Since the laptop battery recalls initiated by Dell, Apple, IBM/Lenovo, Toshiba & Fujitsu, some may have wondered whether the entire lot should be recalled. Well, over at MarketWatch, a new article reports just that. 'Sony said Thursday it will initiate a global replacement program for certain battery packs that use its lithium-ion cells in notebook computers in order to address concerns related to recent over-heating incidents.' In related news, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has released some tips on how to lower the risk of your laptop batteries exploding, no matter who the manufacturer."

8 of 109 comments (clear)

  1. quote by notea42 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Favorite Quote from the Consumer Products Safety Comission: "Computer batteries can get hot during normal use. Do not use your computer on your lap." Not much good as a LAPtop, then.

  2. I sense a conspiracy! by general+scruff · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ok, here's the deal. Now sony is going to have millions of highly explosive batteries. Who thinks this might not be a good thing...

    Today: Rootkits, and DRM
    Tomorrow: Holding the world hostage with boiling lithium..

    eeek...

    --
    As a rule, I never trust dark brown ketchup.
    1. Re:I sense a conspiracy! by fistfullast33l · · Score: 3, Funny

      I for one will never give into their demands. My Dell will never use DRM'd mus...BOOM... %^%@13#^$3@#$*^&^NO CARRIER

  3. Further Details... by k4_pacific · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sony announced today that, as part of their Global Replacement Program, they will be replacing the entire globe. "Yes, we screwed up so badly, that it is cheaper to leave and start a new planet than to fix everything that Sony has done wrong," said a Sony representative. Among Sony's past transgressions include rootkit-enabled laptop batteries, exploding CDs, and firing Nellie McKay. "On our new planet, we will build a Sonyful utopia, a planet by Sony, for Sony forever. A DRMed paradise for all to behold."

    --
    Unknown host pong.
  4. More tips to prevent explosion! by shoolz · · Score: 4, Funny
    Wow, those suggestions were really useful and non-obvious. But here's the few big ones they missed that you might not know about:
    • Never rip a battery in half (while the laptop is running);
    • Do not boil your battery or place it in a dishwasher;
    • Never use your battery as a dog chew-toy;
    • If you have a spare battery, never staple it to your laptop case - store it in a side pocket instead.
    1. Re:More tips to prevent explosion! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Do not taunt your Sony battery

  5. Sony Batteries by sloth+jr · · Score: 2, Funny

    * apologies to Happy Fun Ball/SNL

    Sony Batteries

    -only $14.95-

            * Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Sony Batteries.
            * Caution: Sony Batteries may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
            * Sony Batteries Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
            * Do not use Sony Batteries on concrete.

    Discontinue use of Sony Batteries if any of the following occurs:

            * Itching
            * Vertigo
            * Dizziness
            * Tingling in extremities
            * Loss of balance or coordination
            * Slurred speech
            * Temporary blindness
            * Profuse sweating
            * Heart palpitations

    If Sony Batteries begin to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

    Sony Batteries may stick to certain types of skin.

    When not in use, Sony Batteries should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...

    Failure to do so relieves the makers of Sony Batteries, Sony Corporation, of any and all liability.

    Ingredients of Sony Batteries include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

    Sony Batteries have been shipped to our troops in Afghanistan and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

    Do not taunt Sony Batteries.

    Sony Batteries come with a lifetime guarantee.

    Sony Batteries

    ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

  6. Sony Xplod by lynchmenow · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why don't they just market their batteries under the Sony Xplod brand?