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US Outlaws Online Gambling

imaginaryelf writes, "As reported earlier on Slashdot, in the closing hours of the US Congressional session on Friday, September 29, the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006 (H.R.4411.RH) was attached to the Safe Port Act of 2006 H.R.4954.EAS. To the surprise of many, the bill passed both the House and the Senate, and Bush is expected to sign it into law this week. This effectively outlaws online gambling in the US, by way of making it illegal for credit-card companies to collect payments for bets. The financial markets punished the stock of online gambling companies as some prepared to pull out of the US entirely."

18 of 579 comments (clear)

  1. hooray. by kin_korn_karn · · Score: 4, Funny

    Thank God the congress knows how to protect me from the evil casinos! Four more years!

  2. It will never stick by TheOtherChimeraTwin · · Score: 3, Funny

    5 will get you 10 they won't enforce it.

  3. impact on gambling stocks by Rude+Turnip · · Score: 4, Funny

    "The financial markets punished the stock of online gambling companies as some prepared to pull out of the US entirely."

    I bet they did. Shit, someone's knocking at my door.

  4. Politically incorrect and I don't care by MalleusEBHC · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why couldn't our nation have been started by someone cool instead of a bunch of lame Protestants.

    1. Re:Politically incorrect and I don't care by dr_dank · · Score: 3, Funny

      Why couldn't our nation have been started by someone cool instead of a bunch of lame Protestants.

      The liberal media would have you believe that Christopher Columbus was the first to settle America, but that honor really belongs to The Fonz. He edged out Grover Washington to be our first president, but declined once he found out that he couldn't have all three Hooper Triplets as his first ladies.

      Fun Fact: The indian greeting "how" is derived from The Fonz's "heyyyyyyy".

      --
      Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
    2. Re:Politically incorrect and I don't care by Surt · · Score: 2, Funny

      Why couldn't our nation have been started by someone cool instead of a bunch of lame Protestants.

      It wasn't. Polio really took hold years later. Nearly all of the founders of this country could walk just fine.

      --
      "Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
  5. Affects eBay and PayPal/ by Fujisawa+Sensei · · Score: 3, Funny

    Does this mean they're going to take down eBay and PayPal?

    I certainly feel like I'm gambling whenever I do business there?

    How about Ameritrade? Stocks are certainly gambling

    --
    If someone is passing you on the right, you are an asshole for driving in the wrong lane.
  6. The new 419... by jdumps · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hello Sir, My name is Jacob, and I am a wealthy businessman from the United States. New laws by my government have removed my freedom to gamble my money online. I have $40 millions that I would like to use for to gamble, but unfortunately may not use a United States banking account. If you would send me your bank account information I will deposit this funds. I need you to transfer this funds to an online gambling site. In return, you may keep $2 million. I selected you especially for this task. Please reply quickly, my gambling habit is giving me fits!!! Sincerely, Jacob Rich U.S. Businessman Moneys! Come rollin' in!!!

  7. Re:I Feel so much safer by Thaelon · · Score: 2, Funny

    What winnings?

    --

    Question everything

  8. Re:Worse Problem by Faw · · Score: 3, Funny

    Anyone want to bet that online casinos will be targeted by this law, but Wall Street will remain strangely exempt?

    Didn't you read the article? Betting online is illegal...

  9. Money Laundering by BeeBeard · · Score: 2, Funny

    Peter Gibbons: I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary.

    Yeop.

  10. Re:I Feel so much safer by eno2001 · · Score: 3, Funny

    You're both kind of funny in the head. Here's the way I see it. You buy the T-shirts and collect lots of them. Then you become a regional rep for the T-shirt sales and tell others how they can buy the T-shirts from you and you add a few cents for handling. You also tell them that if they buy 1000 t-shirts from you, that they can then become a regional rep too. Have this happen about five or six time and you're a T-shirt mogul! Meanwhile you have tons of tokens to gamble away and you have your winnings converted to items of huge value. Ferraris, one million cans of chicken soup, a sky scraper... then you have those shipped here. Customs would have no idea what hit them and you'd be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams over and over again! (Not sure what to put here) PROFIT!!!

    --
    -"...bad old ideas look confusingly fresh when they are packaged as technology" - Jaron Lanier (Digital Maoism on Edge.o
  11. The Congress Has Balls by ztransform · · Score: 3, Funny

    In spite of America's failings (the most obvious one about letting citizens own guns for the purpose of schoolyard shootings) I have to admire the balls Congress has in this situation. They just decimated the share value of a number of online gambling companies!

    Too often governments fear bringing corporations down to size. There are a number of unethical industries that need to be nipped on the reproductive organs and it WILL mean a loss to the economy in terms of corporate valuations. Lately banking, telecommunications, and oil firms are just taking individuals and countries for a ride. The only ones who can stop it (the Governments) are the very same ones that profit in the back pocket from the illicit activity.

    It takes a real man to lead a religion and not abuse his power. It takes a real government to lead a country and not abuse its power.

  12. I said it before, I'll say it again: by walterbyrd · · Score: 2, Funny

    democracy simply does not work.
    - Kent Brokman

  13. Re:not necessarily bad by grazzy · · Score: 2, Funny

    If this is new information to you my friend, I must ask you for which rock you're sleeping under. It seems like a very silent and lonely place. I have been searching for such a spot.

  14. Re:not necessarily bad by HolyCrapSCOsux · · Score: 2, Funny

    So we need to federally fund research into a TIME MACHINE!!!

    Then we can retroactively take screwed up adults from thier parents!

    --
    0xB315AA8D852DCD3F3DCA578FD2E0BF88
  15. Re:not necessarily bad by StikyPad · · Score: 2, Funny
    When President Clinton was in office, he signed legislation that makes it far easier for highly irresponsible people to permanent lose custody of their children. I wish more people who voted republican were aware of this fact.

    We are.

          - Highly irresponsible Republicans

  16. Re:I Feel so much safer by indifferent+children · · Score: 2, Funny
    Right, and the best way to deal with a bad law (...) is to ignore it.

    Hmmm, let me guess: the Libertarian project to 'take over' a state by getting masses of Libertarians to move there and vote as a bloc, has failed. Your new secret plan is to take over the prison system by convincing all of the Libertarians to break laws willy-nilly and get incarcerated. I doubt that you will be able to actually 'take over' the prisons (they won't let you take your guns to prison with you), but the LP could become the largest prison gang.

    --
    Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. --Mark Twain