Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Developing Console Chips
The Cheesecake writes "The New York Times is running an article that says that Microsoft is looking into designing and developing microchips. These will primarily be for the next generation of the Xbox. They also mention it could be used for things like voice recognition. They look to be doing this through a process designed by UC Berkley which makes it possible to reconfigure computer designs without the cost of making finished chips."
I can see it now:
Dear aunt, let's set so double the killer delete select all!!
Interested in a Flash-based MAME front end? Visit mame.danzbb.com
Will their chips turn blue when the console crashes?
If "disco" means "I learn" in Latin, does "discothèque" mean "I learn technology"?
First it's software, then it's computer chips, then it's robots, then it's...well we all saw Terminator...
Oh shit! They're gonna start making politicians?!?
This guy's the limit!
... you will get a new chip delivered every first Tuesday in 'snail mail' with instructions for removing the old chip and soldering and what not on how to install the new chip update due to 'important "critical" security updates".
Oh Yea?
"First it's software, then it's computer chips, then it's robots, then it's...well we all saw Terminator..."
But for a while, we will have to put up with Microsoft Robot, whose face goes entirely blue for no reason at all, which crashes into the wall several times a day, which has trouble obeying you since it is constantly bombarded with commands from all over the world, and which considers the Asimov Laws of Robots as mere recommendations.
Where were you when the voynix came?
NAI announces a new generation of security products, dubbed "McAfee Microchip Edition Software Suite (MESS) 1.0"
They will now be called Microhard.
Avoid Missing Ball for High Score
August 9, 2010: Microsoft announced today he first patch for their first microchip, the MSME VID2009 videogame engine core.
The VID2009 chip was recently taped out by the newly formed MS Micro-electronics division. It was widely acclaimed as a new era for MS, altohugh the two analysts still not paid by MS voiced concerns about how the usual Microsoft quality control would not fly with electronic microchips.
MS issued the patch in response to reports about VID2009-equipped videogame consoles spontaneously bursting into flames and cutting users' fingers by snapping the DVD reader door too quickly. The reports have been piling up since 2007. "Since MS bought every other game console maker, it's not like we consumers have a choice", says Gaban Tycho, a self-appointed gaming affair watchdog. "Face it, today's dedicated gamer has either burnt skin patches or missing fingers. Sometimes both. Hey, since you've got fingers, could you open that bottle of burn lotion for me?"
Today's patch is expected to solve these issues, although initial reports show it might introduce other problems: when the voice recognition headset is used and the user pronounces the word "Linux", the patched unit sends 110V AC through the headphones.
The patch is replacing 53 logic gates, changing two nano-instructions and rerouting 12 clock signals inside the VID2009 chip. A small issue might delay the application of the patch, though: It requires replacing the chip itself. An MS spokeperson said that the replacement was covered by the standard MS two-week warranty, but that older units would have to be discarded.
As usual, the MS Patch Police, a team of electronics expert affectionately known as the Blue Squad of Death, will patrol neighborhoods and listen to howls of pain to determine where faulty consoles might be located. Unpatchable units will be shredded at customers' premices. "I hate those guys", Tycho said. "Last time, I stepped on my cat's tail and here came the Blue Squad, ramming through the door. They couldn't find the console so they destroyed the toaster instead."
--
Mad science! Robots! Underwear! Cute girls! Full comic online! http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/
A problem has been detected and Bush has been shut down to prevent damage to your politician.
WAR_COUNT_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL
When ideas fail, words become very handy.
The only voice recognition command I need is:
when I yell "DAMMIT!!!" at the top of my lungs, I want the OS to gracefully recover from a blue screen of death and automatically save the term paper I've spent ALL NIGHT writing.
(yeah, I know I'm supposed to save often, but you can't tell me it hasn't happened to you, too.)
If it was just the general CPU market they said they wouldn't enter, then something specialized like the console market would be a completely different beast. Especially considering we know the chips will be intended for one product.
Personally, I think they've just got a case of Apple envy.
Yeah, because when MS is really serious about making something that Just Works, especially a security product, they turn to their industry-leading in-house talent.
[adult swim] rocks Lord Adamus ka-kien.