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The 20 Worst Games Ever

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the for-real dept.

EGM's Seanbaby has a 'director's cut' of a list of the top 20 worst videogames, a list published in the 150th issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly earlier this year. While some top lists may claim authority, this one is the real deal: these games are utter crap. From the article: "#10: Revolution X (SNES) This game is biblically horrific. You're overthrowing an oppressive world order. With Aerosmith. And music is your weapon. That scream of terror you just heard was probably you. Using your weapon, music, you'll fight a massive army of soldiers sent by the government to keep you from rocking. And since the artists were lazy, the army is made up entirely of a man in a yellow jacket and his several thousand identical twins."

15 of 218 comments (clear)

  1. Plumbers don't wear ties? by Gord · · Score: 5, Interesting

    What about the infamous 'Plumbers don't wear ties?'. I remeber this scoring 4% in PC Format (UK) about 10 years ago and holding the title of 'Worst Rating' for many a year, it may even still do so. ..

    1. Re:Plumbers don't wear ties? by shreevatsa · · Score: 5, Funny
      OTOH, my nomination "most awesome game ever" goes to Desert Bus from Penn and Teller's Smoke and Mirrors game package (it never made it big, surprisingly). The game was an answer to the Jack Thompson-types. Quoting from various sources:
      'Desert Bus' was a game we thought would really appeal to people who didn't like unrealistic games, and didn't like violence in their games. It was just like real, loving life.

      The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph, a feat that would take the player 8 hours of continuous play to complete, as the game cannot be paused.

      The bus contains no passengers, and there is no scenery or other cars on the road. The bus veers to the right slightly; as a result, it's impossible to tape down a button to go do something else and have the game end properly. If the bus veers off the road it will stall and be towed back to Tucson, also in real time. If the player makes it to Las Vegas, they will score exactly one point: the counter - which was five zeros - went to 1.

      It's available as a torrent; feel free to wallow in its awesomeness!
  2. You're Winner! by stinerman · · Score: 5, Interesting

    #1 has to be Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.

    Also, check out #9, Custer's Revenge, for some hot pr0n. Wow, were they ahead of their time or what?

  3. yay for old news by floatingtrem · · Score: 5, Informative

    this might have been interesting if i hadn't read this, oh i dunno, 6 or 7 years ago when this article was published.

  4. Ultima 9: Ascension by owlman17 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Finally, an article on /. about a list of worst games, instead of the usual rehash of the "Top 5/10/20 best games of all time, etc ad nauseum" lists.

    Hmmm. Nobody seemed to mention Ultima IX, a terribly bug-ridden game. From the README file alone: "Be certain you empty your Recycle Bin before installing the game." Or : "We recommend that you not save the game while you're poisoned; this has been somewhat problematic in the current version."

    Wow, why didn't anyone mention that?

    (Another game worth mentioning: Conquest Earth. Its not buggy but... hey, might as well have been.)

    1. Re:Ultima 9: Ascension by NexFlamma · · Score: 5, Insightful

      To show you just how old this new story is, it was originally published on Seanbaby's site before Ultima 9 came out, hence why it's not on the list.

      Does it even qualify as news if it's that old?

  5. Battlecruiser 3000AD by Ullteppe · · Score: 5, Interesting

    How about Battlecruiser 3000AD? As to ET, there are actually worse 2600 games than this. Maybe not with the same historical significance, okay...

  6. Re:The list by Walt+Dismal · · Score: 5, Funny
    You forgot Happy Fun Time Cheesegrater Testicle Assault, from Namco for the Atari, voted the most painful game of all time.

    For obvious reasons, I believe no one ever got to the final level, which involved Mexican hot peppers and flesh-eating wolverines. Ahh, let's not go there after all. Those wacky Japanese game geniuses.

  7. Big Rigs: YOU'RE WINNER! by Poro · · Score: 5, Informative

    At least according to a race sim maniac like me, "Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing" would be a good candidate for a more up to date version of the worst games ever list. Wikipedia has some nice words about this quite extraordinary game.

  8. Bible Adventures! by binkzz · · Score: 5, Interesting

    While I definitely played worse games (and better ones), I found it kind of pointless that he chooses to just rant about the Bible and his religious views instead of discussing the game.

    --
    'For we walk by faith, not by sight.' II Corinthians 5:7
  9. This list is awful by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This list is one the worst I've read. The author just lists games out of his ass, and he is not even coherent with his previous list about "Worst 20 NES videogames", so you find that some NES videogames that scored less on that list scored more on this, and the supposedly worst (Deadly Towers) is missing on this list. What the...?

    Suggestion: Avoid reading. Leave game trashing to professionals.

  10. Digging up E.T. by Sippan · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The funniset thing in that article was the sentence "So if you ever lose your mind and want a copy of E.T., or maybe five million, grab a shovel and drive out to the desert. They're free."

    It's funny because you can't actually do it - Wikipedia: "Starting on September 27, 1983, a layer of concrete was poured on top of the crushed materials".

    Crushed, buried, sealed in concrete. Now that is one bad video game.

    --
    Frog blast the vent core.
    1. Re:Digging up E.T. by frogstar_robot · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Wintergreen made a video about the whole E.T. disposal debacle. It has nice touches like the 2600 E.T. running around the desert where his carts are buried. Funny stuff.

      http://keithschofield.com/et/

  11. Revolution X by filthWisard · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is it just me or does Revolution X sound like it could have been a good idea for a game if you replaced aerosmith with spinal tap?

    1. Re:Revolution X by markimusk · · Score: 5, Funny

      it's just you.