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The 20 Worst Games Ever
EGM's Seanbaby has a 'director's cut' of a list of the top 20 worst videogames, a list published in the 150th issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly earlier this year. While some top lists may claim authority, this one is the real deal: these games are utter crap. From the article: "#10: Revolution X (SNES) This game is biblically horrific. You're overthrowing an oppressive world order. With Aerosmith. And music is your weapon. That scream of terror you just heard was probably you. Using your weapon, music, you'll fight a massive army of soldiers sent by the government to keep you from rocking. And since the artists were lazy, the army is made up entirely of a man in a yellow jacket and his several thousand identical twins."
What about the infamous 'Plumbers don't wear ties?'. I remeber this scoring 4% in PC Format (UK) about 10 years ago and holding the title of 'Worst Rating' for many a year, it may even still do so. ..
#1 has to be Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.
Also, check out #9, Custer's Revenge, for some hot pr0n. Wow, were they ahead of their time or what?
this might have been interesting if i hadn't read this, oh i dunno, 6 or 7 years ago when this article was published.
I think I still have this issue of EGM, from, oh, 2003 or so? How is this on the front page?
Finally, an article on /. about a list of worst games, instead of the usual rehash of the "Top 5/10/20 best games of all time, etc ad nauseum" lists.
Hmmm. Nobody seemed to mention Ultima IX, a terribly bug-ridden game. From the README file alone: "Be certain you empty your Recycle Bin before installing the game." Or : "We recommend that you not save the game while you're poisoned; this has been somewhat problematic in the current version."
Wow, why didn't anyone mention that?
(Another game worth mentioning: Conquest Earth. Its not buggy but... hey, might as well have been.)
You retard, The whole point of the article is not to produce a definitive list, but to entertain.
You have failed.
Bypass the link:
...
20: Extreme Sports With the Berenstein Bears
19: Bible Adventures
18: Kriss Kross: Make My Video
17: Bubsy 3D
Good way to get some karma, but the point of the article is that it's funny to read. The list is totally not interesing, as the games were chosen and ordered apparently randomly (you could say they're just 20 terrible games of probably a thousand terrible games).
How about Battlecruiser 3000AD? As to ET, there are actually worse 2600 games than this. Maybe not with the same historical significance, okay...
For obvious reasons, I believe no one ever got to the final level, which involved Mexican hot peppers and flesh-eating wolverines. Ahh, let's not go there after all. Those wacky Japanese game geniuses.
It's "The 20 Worst Games Ever."
Deleted
I propose we give Sunday on Slashdot a new name. Something like "We've run out of things to post, so here's some old stuff" day.
Jesus christ, if you don't have anything remotely new or interesting to post, don't post anything.
By summer it was all gone...now shesmovedon. --
I'm surprised Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing didn't make it to the list... :)
At least according to a race sim maniac like me, "Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing" would be a good candidate for a more up to date version of the worst games ever list. Wikipedia has some nice words about this quite extraordinary game.
While I definitely played worse games (and better ones), I found it kind of pointless that he chooses to just rant about the Bible and his religious views instead of discussing the game.
'For we walk by faith, not by sight.' II Corinthians 5:7
Never played any of them and never will.
.... etc) and if the game is for the PC and/or console and not try to lump them all into one heap. Of course you end up with a book instead of a few pages and even then some people will disagree with you.
I have have always said that a good game to some may be a crap game to another and vice versa. To really rate games you need to stick to groups (ie. FPS, RPG, platformer, adventure
Like it or not sales can help better than someones comments, however when you are first or near first to market (I think "Night Trap" falls into this) then people will buy it even though they find out later it stinks and the company cries all the way to the bank. When this game came out the Internet was young and not many people had access to it so the only ratings for a game was to ask the retailer and you can imagine what they would say or wait till the monthly gaming magazine came out (assuming it rated the game). This does not happen as much now although for any purchase it still is "Caveat Emptor" (Latin for "Buyer Beware").
Still the article was light reading and was fairly humorous in its descriptions (condemnations) of the games.
There ain't no such thing as proprietary standards only proprietary formats. Standards are by definition open.
This list is one the worst I've read. The author just lists games out of his ass, and he is not even coherent with his previous list about "Worst 20 NES videogames", so you find that some NES videogames that scored less on that list scored more on this, and the supposedly worst (Deadly Towers) is missing on this list. What the...?
Suggestion: Avoid reading. Leave game trashing to professionals.
The funniset thing in that article was the sentence "So if you ever lose your mind and want a copy of E.T., or maybe five million, grab a shovel and drive out to the desert. They're free."
It's funny because you can't actually do it - Wikipedia: "Starting on September 27, 1983, a layer of concrete was poured on top of the crushed materials".
Crushed, buried, sealed in concrete. Now that is one bad video game.
Frog blast the vent core.
I dunno, that's sounds like my idea of fun >:>
This list has been rather arbitrary, however the "official" list can be found and edited on Wikipedia.
I agree on #1 though. I cannot forget how much ET sucked (and I was a little tyke around this time). I had JUST gotten exposed to the 2600 and the crappy Pac-Mac clone released for it when the console abruptly was shoved into the closet never to see the light of day again.
I did enjoy the Atari 400 my mother had bought for my older sibling. We would both play Zaxxon for hours on it, which required starting a rather chunky and heavy cassette tape machine which you connected to the 400. There was some cheesy elevator music with some marketing propoganda (you had to turn the volumn down to ignore it). After going to get a soda and cigarettes at the store for my brother, the game would be completely loaded into RAM and we'd spend a good part of the afternoon trying to top scores.
ET however managed to suck the life out of Atari and it destroyed the company. Had it not done that, NES would have had no void to fill.
In fact, the Atari caused so much damage to the video game market (and all the other cheap video game systems), that Nintendo had to market the first 8-bit consoles by showing only the Nintendo R.O.B. (remember that thing?) The ROB had a major suck factor, but it was such a cool gimmick that the "seperate console" it needed to play the game managed to suck in enough kids that eventually the ROB was discarded (within about 6 months after it released).
The ROB gimmick was quickly removed from the marketplace and the only boxes you could find where the standard console and the one with the Duck Hunt gun. The original issue had everything--the NES, the ROB and the gun with all those games! What a steal!
In contrast, the review of Neverend at Just Adventure's website http://www.justadventure.com/reviews/Neverend/Neve rend.shtm rates it as an A-. I think many of the Gamespot reviewers are given games to review in genres that they don't like and it is hard to write an objective review. Gamespot in particular always seems to give adventure games a bad review with only 2 games in the genre getting a rating over 8 in the past few years, and not since Syberia in 2002 has there been a rating over 9.
I haven't played the game myself, but I just thought it a stark contrast that the site where people enjoy adventure games rates it very high and a site where the reviewers are more generalized pan it.
In defense (sortof) of BattleCruiser 3000, it seemed to be developped by a lone maniac with a fairly strong following and appeared to be fairly innovative since it covered all the aspects of futuristic combat, from space to ground.
OTOH, it did too much, didn't do it very well and I have to admit I never really managed to play it. However I would give it some points for the sheer magnitude of the effort. It was an impressive piece of work. Kind of unuseable but still impressive. Which is why I wouldn't put it in the worst. In the "most impressive attempts" maybe.
May contain traces of nut.
Made from the freshest electrons.
Is it just me or does Revolution X sound like it could have been a good idea for a game if you replaced aerosmith with spinal tap?
I nominate this for a pretty high ranking in the Worst Websites Outside Of Myspace list. Seriously, I had to turn off the CSS to avoid eyebleed and my system is already blocking GIFs and Flash, I don't even want to know what this would look like to some poor IE user.
Justice is the sheep getting arrested while an impartial judge declares the vote void.
and not since Syberia in 2002 has there been a rating over 9.
And, having played Syberia, I can honestly say that as an adventure game it sucks donkeyballs. All puzzles are incredibly easy, except for one which is completely undoable. In itself this is not enough to invalidate the game, but the puzzles are virtually all ridiculously illogical. I mean, at one point in the game the main character cannot climb a certain ladder because there are birds sitting in front of it, and "she is afraid of birds". Now, instead of just stomping right through the birds, or throwing something at them, or making a loud noise, or just waiting until they fly away (which are all impossible), you have to go on a long, boring quest which goes all over the map, to get some birdseed or something so you can lure them away. The game is also dead slow, and the main character is unsympathetic and presented as being quite stupid. The only good thing about the game is that it looks absolutely stunning. Which is probably why Gamespot gave it such a high ranking. Visuals, you know.
The worst game I ever purchased was "Airport Tycoon". Talk about abysmal. The concept had so much promise, but the result was so buggy and unfinsihed and ugly and unplayable, that it's the only game I ever uninstalled completely after less than one day, and then shredded and destroyed rather than taking it back for a refund. The only pleasure I got was destroying that piece of crap game.
Examples of what was wrong: all the graphical colors were muddy earth tones, just ugly. Placing buildings was buggy as hell (many times a building, road, or runway would refuse to be placed, for no apparent reason). Placing things inside the terminal (like ticket counters and security) was pointless... you could pile everything up on top of each other so people couldn't possible reach them, and it didn't matter. All that mattered is that you placed them somewhere. Also, what happened on the screen showed ZERO relationship with what was going on in the game. The game would say that the runway was too crowded, but the display would show an empty runway.
Just horrible all around. There wasn't a single redeeming value.
- Spryguy
There are three kinds of people in this world: those that can count and those that can't
15: Total Recall
For those of you at work today, you might want to skip this one. Unless, of course, you don't mind your boss seeing the triple-breasted martian prostitute. Hell, it might make for interesting conversation during your annual review.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
I was enjoying this article until I got to the review of Zelda: Wand of Gamelon. At first, I thought he was committing the sin of just being a jackass and using "gay" as a term to mean lame, but not actually connecting it with homosexuality, then I read "Now do the math on this: experts in ass ramming estimate that about 10% of the world is homosexual, and if you consider that only 5 people actually wanted a CDI machine, that means that this game was made specifically for a target audience of one half a person."
"Experts in ass ramming" eh?
Sounds like this guy has got a problem, oh I figured it out, he's a fucking idiot.
Don't know if this would rate as the worse game, but it's good for a laugh anyways:
http://www.holdthebutton.com/
You're in luck. Derek Smart (the lone maniac developer) has released the old versions of the game for free on the game's Web page. A while back I downloaded BattleCruiser Millenium, the 2nd generation of the title. [BattleCruiser 3000 was the 1st.] I have to admit, it is impressive. The scope of the idea of the game: space cruiser combat, space fighter combat, and (FPS) ground combat is very ambitious. Unfortunately the gameplay is not very good and the game itself is unstable. It doesn't help that Derek denies that his games have any stability problems.
I recommend you try it out.
Another possible missing game is Extreme PaintBrawl; as far as I know, it got the lowest rating ever on IGN in 1998 (0.7 out of 10) and since then has never been topped (uhm, "topped" doesn't seem the right word for such games...).
If there is some minimum bar, or aggravating factor for getting position on lists such as this then I would include such things as "hype" and number of sales. Since Since John Romero's Daikatana didn't make the list I have to assume that hype was left out, but the fact that E.T. came out number one on his list suggests that sales figured in his calculations. E.T. was actually investigated by a television news team for being so terribly awful. Its creator was interviewed and shrugged it off on camera, saying that he was just a hired contractor who was required to meet a deadline. I even recalled Mad magazine making fun of this bomb of a game, which listed for something like $50 when it was released.
Curiously, Custer's Revenge also made the TV news, though for different reasons (native protests played a small part). Amusingly, the broadcaster decided to blank out the offending part of Custer's anatomy, making the roughly pixelated penis look larger, and black.
Dana Plato certainly made some poor choices in her life. Perhaps this game was one of them, but as a fan of hers I prefer to think of her as a "pioneer." Lots of has-been and would-be actors would be discovered or buried in these video game roles in the years to come.
"Will future ages believe that such stupid bigotry ever existed!" -- Ivanhoe
This is the most pathetic article I have ever read. Other than being horribly offended by the language of the article, it read mostly like it was written by some teenage kid on his blog. While I must agree with his game picks, I feel that he was overly harsh in many areas, especially graphics. The Kriss Kross game and the Zelda game made early use of video compression capabilities, and especially with the Kriss Kross game, the idea that you are mixing videos, real-time, on the fly, on hardware the likes of the Sega CD, limited to 64 colors being able to be displayed at one time, was quite a technological marvel. Several of the games he mentioned had sucky graphics not because of poor design, but because of limitations of the NES and the Gameboy color. Actually, from the screenshots he posted of stuff like Bubsy, Kriss Kross, Barensteen Bears, Total Recal, and so forth, the graphics were on par with other games of the same genera on the same platform. Shoot, even ET, with as AWFUL as that game was, had graphics that were on par with other Atari 2600 titles.
While I must admit that all of these games sucked, the reasons given in the article were not good. It looks like games were picked at random, I mean, with the exception of ET, I can think of many other games that should be on this list instead. I would much rather be forced to play Bubsy than that horrible Home Alone game for the SNES, Galaga 13 and Michael Jackson's Moonwalker could be put in the same category as Total Recal, and I cannot believe that not a single Barbie game made the list. And what about those games that were released that were so buggy that they could not be played? Three Dirty Drarfs for the Sega Saturn actually CRASHED on me every time I get to a certain point of the game, which, I have not played it in years, so cannot remember if its the first or second level, but made the game practically worthless. I have played racing games where physics seemed to be a concept the game designers left out, making it perfectly alright to drive through solid objects. How in the world did Aquaman not get on this list?
Once again, I must admit that all these games suck, but if you are going to work for EGM, stop acting like a 14 year old who is having a tempertantherum because he just got grounded.
Can't believe nobody's brought up this classic.
The game itself is, meh, average, but the fact that the introduction was so hilariously bad as to spark an Internet phaenomenon....well, all your bad game are belong to us.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage
Well in my case, it provided a lot of closure. I always felt like a retard when I tried to play that ET game. I'd sit awake in my room at night figuring, "OK" I just need to be smarter or pay more attention. I can't believe a video game on the atari would be wrong or bad, so it must be me!!"
When I saw the article title, I thought, "Oh please God, let it be on the list. Anywhere on the list!" Number One... There is a God.
I had a sucky sig.
I don't know how they missed Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing.
c onsidered_the_worst_ever
Wikipedia has a pretty good list:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_video_games_
You sir, must never has scratched your balls after slicing jalapenos.
let's take 20 games everybody says sucks, bag on them, throw in homophobic references twice a game and say fuckity shit shit poopy fuck to buy a few laughs since i lack enough talent to be funny without them.
u are sucks
how about a list of the top twenty games every gaming dork beats off to despite knowing deep down it's boring garbage?
1- myst, totally gay
2- shenmue, jap fag, if i pooped i could have made a better game
3- final fantasy, 60 hours of homosexual gameplay, homos.
4- GTA, that guy is hardcore and bones babes, but im jerking it 50% for the guy and 50% for the woman, GAY.
5- Pikmin - i could imagine one of those flowers going up my butt, and pulling out a daisy that smelled better than this gayness...
6- Call of Duty - greek warriors were gay, so are american warriors and the gay artists that drew them...
i'm done, feel free to continue the list...
Heroes of the Lance was bad enough to be on the list? It wasn't great, but it wasn't that bad either. Oh, I just read the article, and he's talking about the NES version. The PC version was decent at least. The NES version looks like crap compared to the PC version (EGA baby!).
Heroscape, it's like legos combined with anachronistic wargames.
"Sir"? The word you're looking for is "Mistress"!