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The Internet Black Hole That Is North Korea

Nrbelex writes "While other restrictive regimes have sought to find ways to limit the Internet — through filters and blocks and threats — North Korea has chosen to stay wholly off the grid. The New York Times discusses the total lack of 'net access facing the North Korean state, and what it means in the long term." From the article: "The South was illuminated from coast to coast, suggesting that not just lights, but that other, arguably more bedrock utility of the modern age -- information -- was pulsating through the population. The North was black. This is an impoverished country where televisions and radios are hard-wired to receive only government-controlled frequencies. Cellphones were banned outright in 2004. In May, the Committee to Protect Journalists in New York ranked North Korea No. 1 -- over also-rans like Burma, Syria and Uzbekistan -- on its list of the '10 Most Censored Countries.' That would seem to leave the question of Internet access in North Korea moot."

34 of 265 comments (clear)

  1. New York.... by Steve+Cox · · Score: 5, Funny

    "the Committee to Protect Journalists in New York"

    I have heard its a dangerous place.....

    Steve.

  2. Chosen? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They have no electricity for lights, what makes you think they have electricity for internet? They'd have more luck using tubes.

    1. Re:Chosen? by LordP · · Score: 4, Funny

      No, no, pipes, the internet is made out of pipes.

      --
      Nothing is so smiple that it can't be screwed up.
    2. Re:Chosen? by Snover · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh no my friend, I assure you, it is a series of tubes. At least you didn't say it was a truck -- that would be VERY wrong.

      --

      [insert witty comment here]
    3. Re:Chosen? by Kagura · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh, yes. Batteries, "the non-electric alternative".

    4. Re:Chosen? by natrius · · Score: 2, Funny

      Why does "series of tubes" have it's own article? I think I'll replace it with a redirect to the "Internet" article.

    5. Re:Chosen? by Poltras · · Score: 2, Funny

      What is this Internet thingie people keep talking about anyway?

    6. Re:Chosen? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Sockets, you cretin, not pipes!

  3. HA by rolandbm · · Score: 5, Funny

    First Po[Censored by Republic of North Korea]

    --
    It can giggle all it wants. The galaxy's not gettin any of our Bourbon.
    1. Re:HA by fbjon · · Score: 2, Funny
      That's PEOPLES Republic of Korea for you mister!
      That's DEMOCRATIC People's Republic of Korea for you mister!
      --
      True confidence comes not from realising you are as good as your peers, but that your peers are as bad as you are.
  4. No North Korean spam! by tehSpork · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's one less third-world country I have to add to my server's firewall blocking rules!

    On another note, I don't think Internet access is high on their priorities. Building big bombs seems to be first on their agenda. If only they followed Iran's research strategy and started looking for plans on the internet, I bet their tests would go much better. :)

    1. Re:No North Korean spam! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      The US is a 2nd world country, good ol' europe is the first world

  5. Soviet Russia Joke by Silver+Sloth · · Score: 5, Funny

    It looks like we're going to have to change all those In Soviet Russia... jokes to In North Korea...

    --
    init 11 - for when you need that edge.
    1. Re:Soviet Russia Joke by ricree · · Score: 5, Funny

      They'd get old really fast, since pretty much all of the go something like "In North Korea, you join the army and hopefully manage to avoid starving to death."

    2. Re:Soviet Russia Joke by merreborn · · Score: 2, Funny

      The other problem is that if you do get through to them, every singlr North Korean is going to want out of there fast, and you will have 60 million refugees flooding into S Korea and China, or anywhere they can get a boat to. A problem that would make the Vietnamese Boat People look like a trickle.

      Clearly the Chinese need to build a wall on the NK border. I hear they're good with walls.

    3. Re:Soviet Russia Joke by G-funk · · Score: 2, Funny

      But it would just get torn down by some god damn mongolians.

      --
      Send lawyers, guns, and money!
  6. Think of the children! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Millions of teenage boys with severely limited access to porn! It's like something out of a horror movie.

    1. Re:Think of the children! by zoydoid · · Score: 2, Funny

      And you know what lack of access to porn leads to, right? Yup... The Sound of Music and Julie Andrews singing.

  7. Re:How 'bout just a black hole by Lactoso · · Score: 4, Funny
    "Have you ever looked at North Korea using Google maps nighttime [gatech.edu]? North Korea is the black patch to the left of Japan. It is more amusing if you switch to "Dusk Map" as you can clearly see that the lack of lights match exactly with the boarders of South Korea and China."

    We simply can not understand the drive and dedication of the North Koreans. They aren't 'in the dark'. They're training their night vision to be vastly superior to their enemies (everyone). Too bad they don't have an internet connection or they could have found out about night-vision goggles and saved many a stubbed toe. :-(

  8. Give a man the internet.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day. give a man the internet and he can setup a blog b*tching about the lack of fish and why girls don't like him.

    Unless he is in NK in which case he gets thrown in jail after the first google search.

  9. This is another evil American Imperalist lie! by Kim+Jong+Il · · Score: 5, Funny

    I read Slashdot all the time!

  10. This is another American imperialist lie! by Kim+Jong+Il · · Score: 0, Funny

    I read Slashdot all the time and all DPRK citizens enjoy freedom of Internet use in our worker's paradise. It is well known that Great Leader Kim Il Sung singlehandedly created the Internet during the War of Resistance against the Japanese, passing on the specification to American military scientists who took credit dastardly for it twenty years later. Once again the imperialist dogs are trying to discredit us!

  11. Finally a use for all those C64 and AOL CDs!! by lostngone · · Score: 1, Funny

    Lets air drop thousands of C64's, 2400 buad modems and AOL CDs into NK. Of course they are going to have figure out how to power them, find a phone line and then figure out how to get the C64 to read a CD but hey we can't do everything for them.

  12. North Korea merely respectful of light pollution? by evilandi · · Score: 3, Funny

    The image in TFA merely indicates that the North Koreans are apparently very respectful of light pollution.

    Obliterating our beautiful night skies with yucky orange glow should not be seen as a sign of civilisation.

    Of course, the reality probably is that they aren't environmentally concious at all, but simply don't have much electricity; however, to use a dark night-time satellite image as proof to bolster that assumption, is pretty ignorant and Amer-Euro-centric[TM].

    --
    Andrew Oakley - www.aoakley.com
  13. So this must mean... by DeadboltX · · Score: 4, Funny

    All the koreans that play Starcraft on Battlenet still are from South Korea then?

  14. I wonder by Vadim+Makarov · · Score: 2, Funny

    what's so huge and brightly lit off the eastern shore of South Korea, in the sea?

    --
    17779 eligible voters in a district, 17779 'vote' as one. This is Russia.
    1. Re:I wonder by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Never mind, that's just Godzilla.

  15. Re:I can't be the only one by Guppy06 · · Score: 3, Funny

    "I can't be the only one who really wants North Korean porn."

    Yes, because it's so difficult to find naked pictures of malnourished women on the intrawebs.

  16. So, the complete lack of Internet access there... by Panaqqa · · Score: 2, Funny

    Presumably means the RIAA will eventually drop the 300 lawsuits it just filed against North Koreans?

  17. Re:North korea internet contact by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    The official webpage of north korea is: www.voiceofkorea.org

    Thanks, interesting link. They are so cute, those North Koreans. I was especially charmed by the picture of the tandem bike:

    A NORWEGIAN WHO RIDE WITH A NORTH KOREAN GIRL NEAR SOUTH KOREAN BORDER.
    DPRK WANTS TO RIDE THE BIKE OF PEACE WITH ALL OF YOU AS LONG AS YOU RESPECT DPRK.

    Let's all ride the Bike of Peace together!
  18. North Korean Bombs by OakDragon · · Score: 3, Funny
    Well without the Internet how will North Korea use Google Maps to know where to use those bombs.

    Judging from recent missile tests, the AAA Pyongyang city & regional map should suffice.

  19. black hole? by L33t+Windozer · · Score: 2, Funny

    If it really was an "Internet black hole", it would suck the rest of the Internet right in.
    Which it doesn't.
    So it's not a black hole.

  20. Re:How 'bout just a black hole by Fred_A · · Score: 4, Funny

    Sweet Leader ?
    Huggable Leader ?
    Fuzzy Leader ?
    Cute Leader ?

    The task force is still out on that one so we'll let you know as soon as the report comes in.

    --

    May contain traces of nut.
    Made from the freshest electrons.
  21. Just seemed to fit by crabpeople · · Score: 4, Funny

    Collectivism has caused more human misery than any other idea of the human mind. With every vote I cast and every dollar I give to politicians, I am guided by my desire to see it crushed and swept off the face of the earth. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

    --
    I'll just use my special getting high powers one more time...