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How to Hack the Vote and Steal the Election

divisionbyzero writes "Many people have asked for it so that the government will have to deal with it. So here it is: a guide to stealing an election that uses electronic voting machines written by Jon Stokes over at Arstechnica. From the article: "In all this time, I've yet to find a good way to convey to the non-technical public how well and truly screwed up we presently are, six years after the Florida recount. So now it's time to hit the panic button: In this article, I'm going to show you how to steal an election.""

17 of 587 comments (clear)

  1. How quaint. by pupstah · · Score: 1, Funny

    Anyone using this to aid H.R. Clinton will be granted a one way ticket to Iraq to stand out in the middle of a city street wearing a Bush t-shirt.

    --

    -- pupkick

  2. Are you the RIAA? by RAMMS+EIN · · Score: 5, Funny

    Are you the RIAA, going on about "stealing" intangible concepts that cannot be stolen? You can't steal an election, any more than you can steal music.

        -- The Diebold P2P Network Team

    --
    Please correct me if I got my facts wrong.
  3. Vote from orbit by Quaoar · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's the only way to be sure...

    --
    I'll form my OWN solar system! With blackjack! And hookers!
  4. CowboyNeal for President by jon787 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can we use this to create a CowboyNeal option in the next election.

    --
    X(7): A program for managing terminal windows. See also screen(1).
  5. Litigation by Xehn · · Score: 2, Funny

    In other news, the Bush administration has filed a lawsuit against Arstechnica, stating that releasing this information is a "danger to national security". Meanwhile, GOP officials are scrambling to determine who 'leaked' their 2006 Election Strategy to the press.

  6. Re:Lack of ethics by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    > I'd go as far to say that it is more ethical to distribute it. The information becomes widely known. Maybe someone will hack an election to make it very obviously hacked, thus forcing a re-vote with an honest, verifiable way to count votes.

    And if they get away with it, honestly, is that really so bad?

    DATELINE: January 27, 2009 - President Stallman and GNUHSEC announces arrest of Redmond, WA voting-machine hackers.

    President Stallman today announced the disruption of a terrorist plot, allegedly involving electoral fraud originating from a the terrorist organizations known as the Red Mond Alliance and the Darlings of McBride, both of which owe allegiance to a shadowy figure known only as the Monkey of the Thrown Chair.

    "Let the elections of 2008 stand as a warning to all who would attempt to defraud the American public", warned Vice President Eric Raymond. "The GNUTIA (Gnu's Not Total Information Awareness) surveillance programme is fully operational, and GNUHSEC (Gnu's Not Homeland Security) agents will not tolerate any future incidents of voter fraud."

  7. Re:Know Where To Look by OakDragon · · Score: 3, Funny

    Here's the way to know if the election is hacked:

    Republicans do well - wholesale voter fraud, machines were manipulated, etc.

    Democrats do well - most open and transparent election in years; the people have spoken.

    I look forward to reading the post-election commentary, no matter who does well.

  8. In other news by Aqua_boy17 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hotels across the United States reported an alarming shortage of hotel bar keys.

    --
    What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?
  9. Re:German Petition against voting machines by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah, and i'm accountable for 13745 of them!!

  10. Re:Been done already by MECC · · Score: 2, Funny

    To be certain, politicians from all parties have tried to rig elections - republicans have just been the most successful to date. They're very well organized. Maybe the party that cheats best should win.

    --
    "We are all geniuses when we dream"
    - E.M. Cioran
  11. Re:German Petition against voting machines by Dolly_Llama · · Score: 2, Funny

    I was the 16,385th voter.

    Now there are -1 votes for this petition.

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    Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -- Carl Sagan

  12. He's crafty, that Stallman. by Kadin2048 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, you know the old rule: "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer"...

    Stallman wouldn't want to execute Raymond too early; it would just precipitate a civil war. You know, BSDers blowing themselves up in LUG meetings, contamination of the Cheetos supply, and caffeinated-beverage shortages. You know, basically all the worst parts of the Bible.

    --
    "Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
  13. Re:What should be done. by Frostalicious · · Score: 2, Funny

    I would also suggest backing up the real results so that no real harm is done. That should get us secure voting machines by the 2008 presidential elections.

    I think you are going to need to cause actual harm for real change to be implemented. If the real results are backed up, then they will be restored, "proving the reliability of Diebold equipment". You need to leave someone with Wierd Al as governor and no recourse to repair the damage.

  14. Easier Way by clambake · · Score: 2, Funny

    Here is the simplest way:

    Hi, I am running for president. If I win, I promise to do one single thing. I will create and sign an executive order to split the gold in fort knox equally among the workers, friends and families of those those work at the companies that make the voting machines. Included in the order will be a clause that gives them complete immunity from ALL prosecution for any crimes they ever commit, and also they get first in line for heart/liver transplants, etc.

  15. Re:OTHUMOR by Shadarr · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's not obscurity, that's security through irrelevance.

  16. Re:Ethics? We don't need no stinking ETHICS! by AEton · · Score: 2, Funny

    Despite my general laziness and particular enjoyment of online games like Eve-Online, I am prepared to fight, and if necessary, die, for my country. Even if it means that it will be other Americans that I will have to fight to protect the United States of America.

    With respect, your paranoid delusions and violent fantasies won't do much to change the political climate. Just vote, please.

    --
    We recently had heard in the office over one of the Yellow Machine that's made by Anthology Solutions.
  17. terrorists rigging elections for libertarian wins by falconwolf · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, what do you think it would do to American politics and the respectability of the American president if the terrorists could cause the election to go to a Libertarian? First off, it would show the election to be a sham, secondly, if we honored the results, the Libertarian would probably leave them the hell alone, stop supporting the despots we love to hate, etc

    Hey any terrorists who rig an election so libertarians win need to be supported.

    Falcon