The 10 Lamest Game Consoles Ever

GameDaily has an amusing piece looking at the 10 lamest consoles to hit the market. Older flops like the Jaguar and Action Max join the new graveyard-bound contenders likes the N-Gage and the Gizmondo. From the article: "Ignore, for a minute, manufacturer Tiger Telematics' financial woes, the former executive's much-publicized, million-dollar Ferrari crash and the Swedish Mafia ties. What really irked us about the GPS- and Windows CE-sporting handheld (capable of playing games, movies and music, plus wireless multiplayer) was its sixth-rate software library and similarly styled functionality. Some hated on 2005's biggest portable flop for its abominable games, like Colors or Momma, Can I Mow the Lawn? We just dug the fact that even after dropping $229 on one, you'd still get hit with online ads three times a day." And they're going to re-launch it. Again! Have to love their enthusiasm.

Comments

It's funny...

[the dark hero]

Funny how the 3DO not only compares to the PS3 in price range, but also in the same ugly design.

Re:In Saturn's defense

[poot_rootbeer]

While it may not have been Worldwide successful, I certainly don't think its one of the top 10 lamest console ever; just one of the lamest of the truly widely known consoles.

I would actually say that's true about the entirety of this Top Ten list. I was expecting to see some truly obscure and truly lame hardware on here, like Tiger Game.Com or Atari XEGS, but it was not to be.

Pippin

[Kadin2048]

What about the Apple Pippin? Not only was it $600 and had practically no software, it was underpowered and tried to compete directly with the N64 and PSX, after they were both established in the market.

On the upside though, it had SCSI.

Re:I don't think it even belongs on this list

[triffid_98]

I still have mine for the very same reason. Saturn may have crashed and burned outside of Japan, but for 2D gaming it's nearly on par with the Neo-Geo. Personally I'd say the Lynx doesn't deserve to be on this list either. Yes it failed, but when you release products and fail to you know, advertise them, that can happen. In their place I nominate the Sega CD (FMV games at their worst) and the Atari 5200 (for controllers that somehow managed to suck even more than the gold standard, the Intellivision).

I have a friend who still has his Saturn set up purely because of some of the games that have just never been equalled on other consoles. Radiant Silvergun and Street Fighter Zero 3 spring to mind.

Re:I don't think it even belongs on this list

[gfxguy]

You know, that may all be true, but the Saturn wasn't a 3D slouch, either.

These days I make fun of people buying the first to spend copious amounts of money on new consoles, but back then I wasn't married with kids, so $400 for the console, which inlcuded Virtua Fighter, was a no brainer.

I probably wasted that much in quarters in the arcade playing before it hit the console. And while it wasn't as pretty on the Saturn, it was very playable and VF Remix and VF2 were gorgeous! If Sega didn't give it up and start releasing VF games for other consoles, I'd never have sold the Saturn.

Now, 32X... THAT I can agree with.

As usual, for most of these consoles, it comes down to the games. Most game companies went where they thought the most money would be. For some it was simply a matter of crappy technology. My recollection was that the Saturn was hard to develop for at first, but Sega released some libraries that simplified the process - too little, too late. Once your console starts getting shunned, that's about the end of it.

Sega also stupidly rushed to get next generation consoles out before the competition. With how fast technology was developing and prices dropping, that was a fatal mistake... you'd figure you'd get the people that can't wait, but that's just not enough.

I guess it's easy to be an armchair CEO, especially when you have hindsight to look at.