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Tiny Particle With No Charge Discovered

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the met-with-a-neutral-response dept.

ZonkerWilliam writes to mention PhysOrg is reporting that a tiny particle with no charge, called an 'axion' has been discovered. From the article: "The finding caps nearly three decades of research both by Piyare Jain, Ph.D., UB professor emeritus in the Department of Physics and lead investigator on the research, who works independently -- an anomaly in the field -- and by large groups of well-funded physicists who have, for three decades, unsuccessfully sought the recreation and detection of axions in the laboratory, using high-energy particle accelerators."

43 of 280 comments (clear)

  1. Three decades? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    Three decades? Dear god, I don't think there is any charge left in that sex life ;-)

    1. Re:Three decades? by __aaclcg7560 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Don't forget all the baby particles. :p

  2. What did the bartender say to the axion? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "No charge."

    1. Re:What did the bartender say to the axion? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny
      > Now where's that big friggin' hook....

      In the box with or without the cat.

    2. Re:What did the bartender say to the axion? by joe_bruin · · Score: 4, Funny

      "No charge."

      Don't be confused. This particle has no charge, it's free as in beer.

    3. Re:What did the bartender say to the axion? by proxy318 · · Score: 5, Funny

      An atom walks into a police station and says "One of my electrons has been stolen!"
      The police say "Are you sure?"
      And the atom replies...

      "Yes! I'm positive!"

      --
      Saying your "phone ran out of batteries" is like saying your "car ran out of gas tanks".
    4. Re:What did the bartender say to the axion? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      With AND without the cat.

    5. Re:What did the bartender say to the axion? by Surt · · Score: 3, Funny

      With the cat. Dead or Alive, the cat is still there.

      --
      "Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
    6. Re:What did the bartender say to the axion? by O.W.M · · Score: 2, Funny

      With the cat. Dead AND Alive.

    7. Re:What did the bartender say to the axion? by StuckInSyrup · · Score: 2, Funny

      The cat is dead. It is in the box since 1935. No cat can live this long. Deal with it.

      --
      Ni.
  3. Won't hold a charge... by __aaclcg7560 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Even in the field of particle physics, there had to be a slacker somewhere.

    1. Re:Won't hold a charge... by Del+Vach · · Score: 2, Funny

      What do you expect? The scientists are coddling them with all the emphasis on recreation!

    2. Re:Won't hold a charge... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Don't be so negative!

    3. Re:Won't hold a charge... by EinZweiDrei · · Score: 2, Funny

      Theoretical physics is no stranger to this kind of irresponsible behavior. Fortunately, it can be resolved: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/52324

      --
      Perhaps life really is full of possibilities.
  4. They find an axion?? by brxndxn · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hire them to find Bin Laden!!

    --
    --- We need more Ron Paul!
    1. Re:They find an axion?? by Cyberax · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, physicists can do this, but this would involve smashing Earth to pieces and looking at its debris.

      BTW, and they would need about $10000000000000000000 funding for LEC (Large Earth Collider).

    2. Re:They find an axion?? by fimbulvetr · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, physicists can do this, but this would involve smashing Earth to pieces and looking at its debris.

      BTW, and they would need about $10000000000000000000 funding for LEC (Large Earth Collider).

      About the same requirements as the US military then, eh?

    3. Re:They find an axion?? by Zonnald · · Score: 2, Funny

      Large Earth collisions don't kill people. People kill people.

    4. Re:They find an axion?? by schon · · Score: 2, Funny

      the US military then, eh?

      That'd be about two zeros more Hey, that's a horrible thing to say about the president and secretary of defense!
  5. A particle with no charge? by elmCitySlim · · Score: 2, Funny

    Isn't that known as the slutty little neighbor of the sub-atomic world?

  6. Called "axion"? by necro2607 · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's crazy. How do they know it's called an axion? ... ;)

  7. Re:This is a big deal by AuMatar · · Score: 4, Funny

    String theory will merely add a 29th dimnension where axions can exist to make the math work.

    --
    I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
  8. They say the axion has no charge? by Z1NG · · Score: 5, Funny

    Are they positive?

    1. Re:They say the axion has no charge? by M00TP01NT · · Score: 2, Funny

      That's a negative, Z1NG.

  9. Re:Long Lived Axions by Scarblac · · Score: 2, Funny

    Presumably then, they can only detect them at the very end of the 10^50 seconds.

    --
    I believe posters are recognized by their sig. So I made one.
  10. I for one, do not welcome our new Overlords by CrazyJim1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    We must defeat the Axion of evil.

    --
    God spoke to me.
  11. No Charge eh? by vivin · · Score: 3, Funny

    No Charge! Shouldn't be too hard to justify the cost of this research! ;)

    Anyways, pretty good!

    --
    Vivin Suresh Paliath
    http://vivin.net

    I like
  12. Everyone just assuned this particle existed by davidwr · · Score: 2, Funny

    The existance of such a particle is axionatic in the physics world.

    --
    Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
  13. Re:and it means... by alexhard · · Score: 5, Funny

    axion () means worthy in greek. ;) I actually read 'geek' first and sat here wondering 'when did we get our own language?' for a couple of seconds..
    --
    Infinite time means everything that can happen, will. You being you is absolutely incidental. You do not exist.
  14. Re:true? by rentedflowers · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're missing the really groundbreaking development here, though.

    This is a /. article, claiming a scientific discovery, that is traceable to a peer-reviewed journal article. A well-respected journal, no less. This is truly a first.

  15. Re:true? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Ancient guy (can't even figure out how to use arXiv?) at small university uses archaic technology to detect particle totally unanticipated by theory? Writes up discovery using Excel plots in a minor journal? This sounds like an even better investment than the one my Nigerian friend e-mailed me about. Where can I sign up?

  16. Funding by OldManAndTheC++ · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dear Sir,

    Your proposal intrigues us. If you can flesh it out with further details, we are certain that a mutually satisfactory agreement can be reached. Eagerly awaiting your reply.

    Sincerely Yours,

    Galactus, LEXX, and Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz

    --
    Soylent Green is peoplicious!
  17. geek language by LunaticTippy · · Score: 2, Funny

    Geeks have their own language. Lots of them. Perl, java, c++, mathematical notation, the geekcode, etc.

    --
    Man, you really need that seminar!
    1. Re:geek language by Poltras · · Score: 4, Funny

      !true. You !make (assumptions || hypothesis) && !(proof). Please; Bring( proof )->clarify.

      --
      Of Code And Men
  18. Re:Detected... by dgatwood · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, it's subtraction. It lasts for -3 seconds.

    :-)

    --

    Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.

  19. A use for axions... by swordfishBob · · Score: 2, Funny

    free transactions in a micropayment environment

    --
    -- All your bass are below two Hz
  20. Particle physics news usually gives me a charge... by thewiz · · Score: 3, Funny

    but this story left me feeling kind of neutral about the whole thing.

    --
    If "disco" means "I learn" in Latin, does "discothèque" mean "I learn technology"?
  21. Re:Detected... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    NERD FIGHT!!!11!!1
     

  22. Well gee I'm not a physicist, but... by Hrothgar+The+Great · · Score: 3, Funny

    probably resides in another dimension

    Are you sure you heard this from a real source? Are you sure that maybe you didn't get drunk and pass out while your television was playing DRAGONBALL Z RERUNS?

  23. Re:and it means... by zolaar · · Score: 2, Funny

    j00 mU57 b3 n00 h3R3...

    --
    One man's constant is another man's variable.
  24. Re:Detected... by Alsee · · Score: 2, Funny

    Lockerroom trashtalk:

    My brain occupies greater volume than your brain!
    Oh yeah? Your ancestor wasn't a monkey!
    Was so!
    Was not!
    Was so!
    Was not!
    **Snatch**
    Heay! No fair! Gimme me back my glasses!
    Nyah nyah! The only girl that would ever date you would have to be the square root of negative two! Irrational AND imaginary!
    When my mother gets here she's gonna make you give my glasses back!

    -

    --
    - - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
  25. Re:Look, it's very simple. by mbelly · · Score: 3, Funny

    They already did...

    --
    ~Belly
  26. Re:It makes perfect sense by yakineko+oni · · Score: 2, Funny

    well, sure, usually there needs to be a whole pile of collaborators on these things, but the more observers there are, the higher the chance that the results will be changed by the observance of the phenomenon...