DARPA Funds Remote Control Sharks

An anonymous reader writes "From Undersea Spies: Turning Sharks into Robotic Sentries "It seems like science fiction, but the U.S. military would like to use sharks as underwater spies. The folks at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), who dream up the future of weapons and military systems, envision squads of sharks prowling the oceans with sensors that could transmit evidence of explosives or other threats.""

Comments

Now all that's missing

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

are the friggin' laser beams and head mounts...

Re:Now all that's missing

[LiquidCoooled]

So, you expect to be able to open the account create page, fill in the details, submit your captcha three times, wait for your acceptance email, signin, re-find the page and actually type and submit your clichéd comment before a subscriber?

Theres optimism if ever I saw it!

First five posts - all about lasers

[PIPBoy3000]

Please, how far can you beat a dead shark?

Re:First five posts - all about lasers

[WallaceAndGromit]

Aparently to at least +5 funny

Re:First five posts - all about lasers

[wik]

This research is like kicking dead sharks down the beach.

Does that mean

[lupine_stalker]

That all the people killed in Jaws were terrorists and/or illegal immigrants?

Not another laser joke

[unitron]

So does this mean that DARPA has officially jumped the shark?

Re:Attatch laser beams, and we have another sequel

[stonedcat]

I believe your post has jumped the shark.

it used to be dolphins

[quixote9]

Really. They were even training them to do various things. (Look for subs or something. I don't remember.) There was talk of training them to attach mines to enemy vessels. Then an outcry began--rightfully, as far as I'm concerned--that it was a Bad Thing to use such intelligent and simpatico animals for this. Now, I see, they've moved to sharks. No lobby supporting them, I'll bet, but the military also won't be able to train them to do much. Sharks are well below flounders in brain power.

Re:it used to be dolphins

[IchBinEinPenguin]

It would be a hellish experience though, since you'd know your free will had been strongly curtailed.

For a second there I thought I was back in the Vista thread...

I didn't know...

[denttford]

...that DARPA has a division researching /. trolling.

DARPA or DHARMA?

[SirBruce]

Do the sharks have logos on them?

Bruce

Dumb idea

[Anonymous Coward]

The Chinese will defeat this by increasing their uptake of shark fin soup by ten fold.

The Only Thing Worse

[jaypeg]

The only thing worse than roving gangs of US Navy mind controlled sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads is a land shark from Mother Russia with a beowulf cluster!

Overlords

[youthoftoday]

I, for one, welcome our new robotic shark overlords.

Navy sharks

[Anonymous Coward]

If one of those beasts attacks me while I'm surfing, can I sue the navy for damages?

Countermeasures

[DoofusOfDeath]

I think the main military benefit to this technology is that it will force hostile nations to build chum launchers as a countermeasure. The notion is so disgusting it will reduce reenlistment rates for their navies.