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Expensive U.S. Spy Satellite Not Working
Penguinshit writes to mention a Reuters article about some trouble the U.S. is having communicating with a spy satellite. The sensor package was launched last year by the U.S. National Reconnaissance Office, and is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. It has apparently hung in a low orbit for months now, and efforts to communicate with it have been unsuccessful. From the article: "The official said the problems were substantial and involved multiple systems, adding that U.S. officials were working to reestablish contact with the satellite because of the importance of the new technology it was meant to test and demonstrate. The other source said the satellite had been described to him as 'a comprehensive failure.' There was no suggestion by either of the sources that the satellite had been purposely damaged as part of a terrorist attack. Another government official said he had no information about any attacks on U.S. satellites."
"Windows has encountered an error from which it cannot recover and needs to restart. Please press any key to continue..."
The NSA: The only part of the US government that actually listens.
So that's what my DIY laser cannon shot down... I was worried that I built it wrong.
Bet ya this is a case of converting form Imperial to Metric again. Guess the military never got NASA's memo :P
"Nothing to see here... at least not with your security clearance."
Exactly. I'm sure neither source mentioned that it had been deliberately damaged as part of an extra terrestrial alien attack either, but they didn't mention that.
Maybe someone should start listing all the other types of attacks that didn't damage the satellite. (Start off with laser wielding shark...)
This is what happens when you outsource your communications to EDS and NMCI "What do you mean by 'I forgot to turn it on...'!?!"
They should have known it was a bad idea to appoint the President of the Arabian Horse Association to be the head of the National Reconnaissance Office.
As an anti-satellite weapon. It would launch a special shell in space that would explode near the target satellite, covering it with sticky material and blinding it.
Who was their defense contractor on that idea? Lone Starr and a certain rotund guy with a tail named Barf?
"Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
Keyboard not detected. Press RETURN to continue...
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
A good slap on the side of the cabinet.
.
Well, I doubt if NRO launches anything-- they probably sign a check to Martin-Marietta, who coordinates things and rents a pad at Vandenberg.
>and is worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
Well, it probably cost hundreds of millions of $. What it's worth, especially in the light of it being unusable, is debatable. Back when CMOS sensor arrays were custom made for $70,000 each the technology was gee-whizzy. Nowdays your basic disposable camera isnt that far behind what's in the current sats.
>It has apparently hung in a low orbit for months now.
"Hung"? as in hanging from something? Or hung as in "windows hung on me"?
>and efforts to communicate with it have been unsuccessful. The official said the problems were substantial and involved multiple systems.
So it probably had several radio links and none of them seem to be working. That's bad. There's usually at least one last-ditch fail-safe really simple telemetry and command link that doesnt depend on the main power source or antenna aiming. If they can't talk to that thingy, things are mighty grim.
>adding that U.S. officials
"Officials"? More likely a bunch of hairy and now sweaty peons.
>Were working to reestablish contact with the satellite because of the importance of the new technology it was meant to test and demonstrate.
So they wouldnt bother if it had old technology but cost $200 million?
>The other source said the satellite had been described to him as 'a comprehensive failure.'
Well, if you can't talk to it, that's pretty comprehensive.
heh the very idea that terrorists could possibly do something to a satellite after launch makes me laugh. i mean did it go like this?
Osama - "OK Zawawhatshisname, show me this big plan you have for taking out the satellites of the great satan?"
ZAWA - "ok, basically we strap a bomb to young Uday here..."
Osama - "ok, not bad so far, pretty standard, then what?"
Zawa - "then we have this big slingshot and...."
Osama - "whoa whoa waitasec.... are you serious??"
Zawa - "yeh, well he gets in then we tie the camels to the basket and..."
Osama - "what somebody cracks the whip and pulls a string c'mon man!! Is this what I pay you for?!?!"
Zawa - "well, I..."
Osama - "You're fired..."
Zawa - "but..."
Osama - "dude, just...leave...ok?!"
nah...my spidey sense tell me it was a launch damage f-up or micrometeorite, something normal like that. maybe even a bug, a software glitch like the poor MGS or polar lander (inches, meters, what being difference?!?!? haha!!)
sometimes, i wonder if i'm the only conservative on teh intarweb. ah well, back to mah hogs and warmongerin'....
The ice cream scoop fell off my cone and landed in the dirt.
No terrorist organizations have yet claimed responsibility.
Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
Everytime your government loses or mis-spends $450 Million, then tells you it was spent on some mythical "spy-sattelite" you go and believe them?
"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake."...Tyler Durden
I just wanted to let everyone know that my left butt cheek is fine. Any damage that it may have sustained is not related to any terrorist attack or plot. We must be ever vigilant though, less the terrorist forces do manage to injure my left butt cheek.
This has been a public service reminder. Remember, be afraid of terrorist, you need us, we keep you safe, you have nothing to fear from an oppressive government unless you are an enemy of the government.
-Rick
"Most people in the U.S. wouldn't know they live in a tyrannical state if it walked up and grabbed their junk." - MyFirs
In reality it is all well and working fine, the US is now spying the hell out of everyone... even the girl next door (or is that especially the girl next door?).
haven't you ever seen a James Bond movie?
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
Wait a minute! You tricked me! Those coordinates are about 120 miles off the coast of New Jersey in the middle of the atlantic!
or canabalism in the British Navy either.
There are no cannibals in the British Navy. I ate the last one.
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
Making an n+1 copy of the satellite will be far cheaper.
Not necessarily, because this time they have to make one that WORKS.
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
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She was on a boat. It was a bit nipply out too.
>Only a yankee would call it the civil war... Down in the south it is the War of Northern Aggression :)
I would point out that history is written by the victors, and we have chosen "Civil War".
We have also occupied Florida - ask any Florida native.
1 in 4 Maine children in struggle with hunger.