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New Universes Will be Born from Ours
David Shiga writes "What gruesome fate awaits our universe? Some physicists have argued that it is doomed to be ripped apart by runaway dark energy, while others think it is bouncing through an endless series of big bangs and big crunches. Now, scientists have combined these two ideas to create another option, in which our universe ultimately shatters into billions of pieces. Each shard would then subsequently grow into a whole new universe. The model could solve the mystery of why our early universe was surprisingly well ordered."
Now it sounds like these guys aren't even trying anymore. I could've sworn I saw this in an episode of Star Trek.
. . . witty, and profound, but the announcement that the free bagels and donuts we get every Friday have arrived.
Just think, if only one percent of those billions of new universes repeat our time-stream, this joyous moment will be repeated . . .
whoa, they maple bars this morning. I'm out of here. Priorities . . .
... is there something somewhere else blowing?
And no, that wasn't a Spaceballs reference!
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
Baby come back!! No more dark matter - I promise you a Big Bang this time!
I propose that the universe is actually a cheap science kit awaiting purchase on the shelf of a hyper-dimensional Toys-R-Us. I could probably prove it too if I had the funding...
Nothing witty
We'll stick around to stay in our little galaxy's lives, as we want to pass on our knowledge and provide care for them. That and the threat of paying child support.
In Soviet Russia, dots slash you!
Prominent bizarro physicists believe the new universe will be inverse of our own, controlled by the indigent, and known as the hobo-verse. This new hobo-verse will be controlled by a singular omnipotent box car hobo named "Klackity Klack." Also, it will smell like pee.
"Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a skull.
Because physicists dont look shit up on WordNet.
The word delegate means different things to a security guard at the UN, and a C# programmer.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
It's the new growth area in more fashionable parts of the financial industry: temporal debt relocation.
Too much debt? Can't make interest payments? Already at BBB debt rating? No worries, [XXX] can help you! For a nominal fee of $99.99, we'll buy your debt and make it go away. How? Our patent pending quantum time tunnelling technolgy relocates your debt to an alternate universe, allowing a parallel you to foot the tab.
What could possibly go wrong? Call today: 1-800-NO-MODET.
[Hablas Espagnol!]