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Atom Smasher May Create "Black Saturns"
David Shiga writes "If we ever make black holes on Earth, they might be much stranger objects than the star-swallowing monsters known to exist in space. According to a new theory, any black hole that pops out of the Large Hadron Collider under construction in Switzerland might be surrounded by a black ring — forming a microscopic 'black Saturn'. This could happen if extra dimensions exist, as string theory suggests, and if they are large enough." An evocative excerpt from the article: "...there is an outside chance that in a few years in a tunnel near Geneva, physicists will make a black hole far smaller than a proton and circled by a squashed four-dimensional black doughnut."
mmmmmmmmmmmm, higher dimensional.
there is no need to sign your posts. this isn't usenet. your username is right there above your post. stop it.
black saturn
I can't read the fine article because CyberSitter blocks it. However, I did remember an article a while back that changed the way black holes were perceived to operate.
.pdf showing his original hand-drawn representation along with some of the mathematical principles behind the whole "there is no true event horizon" hypothesis. Where was that? Ah. There we go.
Hm. Maybe google will help me to remember what it was. Oh yes. There it is. Darn. CyberSitter blocks loading that page. I know, user prefs, threshold 5. There we go. Now I can at least see the summary. Click, read, yep, that's the one I remember. Now, Samir Mathur, I remember a very nice
Someone please tell me how the current article lines up with these from years past. Please try to do so without profanity so that I can click my comment and read the reply without CyberSitter dumping the page.
the NPG electrode was replaced with carbon blac
Wait, so Homer was right about the donut shaped universe? Damn Hawking, always taking credit for other people's ideas!
Then suddenly global warming won't seem like such a big deal?
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
We are the String Theorists. You will be assimilated. Resistance is non-dimensionable!
I suppose it would be funny to see the Moon or Mars get sucked into nothingness after a catastrophic black hole test. Would be even funnier if one made a "sluuuuuup!" noise as one watched it suck up on itself.
Then the Cyberdemons would invade. Doom had black holes on Mars didn't they? My memory is fuzzy.
Yeah yeah, typical "not in my back yard!" argument!
Look, buddy! SOMEONE has to get sucked into this black hole, why not you? Huh? Are you too good to get pulled into a string of spegetti and your date erradicated from all exsistance? What makes you so important?
My grandfather was abducted by aliens, the least you could do is get devowered by a massive black hole.
...the dreaded Black Uranus.
That is something you don't want anywhere near you.
Black Saturn, the street tough PI that got kicked off the force for refusing to go along with some crooked cops. Now, he dispenses his own brand of street justice, but has a heart of gold that melts all the ladies.
Hopefully I didn't put any [] around my words.
It has to do with quantum moderation - a post can be in multiple states at once (offtopic/funny) until you look at it, then it takes assumes one and only one.
I feel my chances of getting laid drop with every chuckle at this joke.
If you think Lake Geneva and Lake Constance are large, wait until you see Lake Switzerland.
---- Teach Peace. It's Cheaper Than War.
I always wondered why they added the event horizon nullifier in swiss army knives!
priority: highest
re: micro saturn black holes
1. Formation confirmed
2. Evaporation confirmed not!!!!!!!!
Aren't females wonderful? Keep it up, girls, the gene pool is just too damn smart right now!
(My silly comment got me wondering, if a "hole" exists and is orthogonal to the 3 spatial dimensions, then the curvature of spacetime does constitute a 4th spatial (5th spacetime) dimension, right? As a fitting mnemonic, I shall refer to it as the "hyper-anal" dimension!)
no no no you iggorant fool The strings are dangling into the hole and through the process of reverse obfusification the angular momentus is transparently reversified to nullify the boolshiteicus component according to the theory of string-a-lingus-bodingus.
hahaha, women are dumb! haha! take that gender equality!
This thread is funny as hell.
Ignorance of 4 days is evil, Evil educators teach 1 day. 1 day will destroy humans.
Saving the World: One Drink at a Time
Don't worry - this thing is a collider and not a plot device.
Look, it's bad enough that you want him to get devoweled by a black hole...
(And why would a black hole only take his vowels, anyway? Is it a conspiracy by the Balkan states, to get us all on an even linguistic footing? But I digress...)
But you have to insult people of Chinese heritage, too?
Geez, At least you didn't say he should be "devowerd by a massive black hore", which would insult another whole group of poeple.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
Thats the quantum wave-function of your sex life actualizing.
I, for one, am glad it's not me observing it to collapse the wave function.
3laws: No freebies, no backsies, GTFO.
Please refrain from creating black holes until I have left the solar system...
Uhm...thanks.
But could it create a Black Venus (NWS)?
Funny how some childhood skinemax memories can stick in your brain.
-William Shatner can be neither created nor destroyed.
http://physicsmathforums.com/showthread.php?t=56
Tied Up & Strung Out: Hollywood String Theory Movie!!! Looking For Extras!!!
http://revver.com/video/48391/ (WATCH IT!)
ALL TIED UP & STRUNG ALONG, a movie about String Theorists and their expansive theories which extend human ignorance, pomposity, and frailty into higher dimensions, is set to start filming this fall. Jessica Alba, John Cleese, Eugene Levie, Jackie Chan, and David Duchovney of X-files fame have all signed on to the $700 million Hollywood project, which is still cheaper than String Theory itself, and will likely displace less physicists from the academy.
"As contemporary physics is about money, hype, mythology, and chicks," Ed Witten explained from his offices at the Princeton Institute for Advanced Study, "The next logical step was Hollywood, although I thought Burt Reynolds should play me instead of Eugene Levy."
Brian Greene, the famous String Theorist who will be played by David "the truth is out there" Duchovney, explained the plot: "String theory's muddled, contorted theories that lack postulates, laws, and experimentally-verified equations have Einstein spinning so fast in his grave that it creates a black hole. In order to save the world, we String Theorists have to stop reformulating String Theory faster than the speed of light. We are called upon to stop violating the conservation of energy by mining higher dimensions to publish more BS than can accounted for with the Big Bang alone, and I win the Nobel prize for showing that M-Theory is in fact the dark matter it has been searching for."
Greene continues: "At first my character is reluctant to stop theorizing and start postulating, but when my love interest Jessica Alba is sucked into the black hole, I search my soul and find Paul Davies there, played by John Cleese. I ask him what he's doing in my soul, and he explains that the answer is contained in the mind of God, which only he is privy too, but for a small fee, some tax and tuition dollars, a couple grants here and there, and an all-expense-paid book tour with stops in Zurich and Honolulu, he can let me in on it. And he shows me God in all her greater glory, as he points out that we can make more money in Hollywood than writing coffee-table books that recycle Einstein, Bohr, Dirac, Feynman, and Wheeler. I am quickly converted, and I agree to turn my back on String Theory's hoax and save Jessica Alba."
But it's not that easy, as standing in Greene's way is Michio "king of pop-theory-hipster-irony-the-theory-of-everything- or-anything-made-
you-read-this" Kaku, played by Jackie Chan. Kaku beats the crap out of Greene for alomst blowing the "ironic" pretense his salary, benefits, and all-expense paid trips depend on. "WE MUST HOLD BACK THE YOUNG SCIENTISTS WITH OUR NON-THEORIES!! WE MUST FILL THE ACADEMY WITH THE POMO DARK MATTER THAT IS STRING THEORY TO KEEP OUR UNIVERSE FROM FLYING APART, OUR PYRAMID SCHEMES FROM TOPPLING, AND OUR PERPETUAL-MOTION NSF MONEY MACHINE FROM STOPPING!!" Kaku argues as he delivers a flying back-kick, "There can be ony ONE! I WILL be String Theory's GODFATHER as referenced on my web page!! I have better hair!"
But Greene fights back as he signs his seventeenth book deal to make the hand-waving incoherence of String Theory accessible to the South Park generation, senior citizens, and starving chirldren around the world. "Kaku! Kaku! (pronounced Ka-Kaw! Ka-Kaw! like Owen Wilson did in Bottle Rocket)," Greene shouts. "It is theoretically impossible to build a coffee tables strong enough to support any more coffee-table physics books!!!"
"Time travel is also theoretically impossible, but there's a helluva lot more money for us in flushing physics down a wormhole. Nobody knows what the #&#%&$ M stands for in M theory ya hand-waving, TV-hogging crank!!! Get it?? Ha Ha Ha! We're laughing at the public! We're the inside
You don't understand the Time Cube, do you?
Justice is the sheep getting arrested while an impartial judge declares the vote void.
Because it doesn't go like that. The way it goes is:
A. Mr String Theory, can you give me some predictions so I can test this?
B. Well, no, waffle, waffle, waffle, waffle.
C. No, seriously, give me some predictions already.
D. Ok, here ya go, how about this?
E. That's fine, I'll go test that... hey, turns out my experiment gave me different results to your predictions.
F. Yes, that's right, String Theory doesn't just prediction what happens in the 4 spatial dimensions, it also has extra dimensions, which you can't observe, and my predictions are correct there.
G. I can't observe your predictions, so they're right?
H. That's correct.
I. Uh huh... got any predictions that I can observe and if my experiment differs from you would agree your theory is wrong?
J. No! All predictions come with this cavaete.
K. Well that's just psuedoscience.
L. No, it's descriptive.
M. And pointless.
N. Is not.
O. Is so.
P. Is not.
Q. Is so.
R. Is not infinity!
S. Is not infinity + 1!
T. You can't add one to infinity.
U. Can so.
V. Can not.
W. Can so.
X. Can not.
Y. Can so.
Z. If you don't mind, I'm busy working out complicated equations that can't reliably predict anything you can observe.. good day.
How we know is more important than what we know.