Slashdot Mirror
Why Computer RPGs Waste Your Time
spidweb writes "RPGVault has an editorial about two particularly noxious qualities of computer role-playing games. Spiderweb Software's Jeff Vogel goes off on a tear, discussing how you work forever to earn the right to do anything exciting, and must 'prove yourself' by expending tons of your time. From the article: 'So now, thinking about playing an RPG just makes me tired. I'm tired of starting a new game and being a loser. I'm tired of running the same errands to prove myself. The next time I enter my fantasy world, I want it to not assume that I'm a jackass.'" I think Oblivion handled this well, scaling the world as you went and giving you really interesting things to do from the get-go. What other games dodge this bullet? Do you see this timesink as an inevitable part of the RPG genre?
While I wouldn't put it quite that way, I will say that I do tend to push the "no ai" and the "pause every round" buttons and play it like pen-and-paper. Much more fun that way.
As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth's final century,free flow of information is the only safeguard against...
Beowulf: Kill the end-boss.
The Iliad: Fetch Helen. Kill lots of Trojans first. Lots of long speech cutscenes.
The Labors of Hercules: Lots and lots of fetch quests.
The Ring Cycle: Fedex quest, total Lotr ripoff. The Hobbit: Go there and back again.
---GEC
I'm but the humble pupil, seeking to snatch the scratchbuilt pebble from the master's fully articulated hand
"I personally hate how many RPG games have morphed into an action game to keep the kiddies happy."
I'm no gamer, but what on earth would you expect from a Rocket Propelled Grenade game, anyways?
Besides, whoever was being Dungeon Master knew they couldn't get away with killing off a bunch of player characters quickly, no matter what the dice said, or they would quickly find themselves very much alone.
;)
One of my favorite campaigns I ever made up had me killing all the players one by one so they could be recruited by a demon in hell -- and of course "earn" their lives back with an appropriate task. I didn't even have anything written out for it. I just nailed them all for no good reason within the first fifteen minutes.
God that was fun.
Lets go kill Catuar until I learn how to stop being retarded.
This Space Intentionally Left Blank
Notable quotes:
Beowulf: LFG Heorot, need 2 Kill Grendel & Grendel's Mother for dragon attunement quest
The Iliad: TrojanManParis whispers, "Helen u r so hawt, want 2 cyborz?"
The Labors of Hercules: Herrculeez yells, "z0MG epix, Hippolyta's Girdle dropped finally!!!
From /usr/games/fortune:
A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
-- by Charles Dickens
A lawyer who looks like a French Nobleman is executed in his place.
The Metamorphosis LITE(tm)
-- by Franz Kafka
A man turns into a bug and his family gets annoyed.
Lord of the Rings LITE(tm)
-- by J.R.R. Tolkien
Some guys take a long vacation to throw a ring into a volcano.
Hamlet LITE(tm)
-- by Wm. Shakespeare
A college student on vacation with family problems, a screwy
girl-friend and a mother who won't act her age.
%
A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
-- by Charles Dickens
A man in love with a girl who loves another man who looks just
like him has his head chopped off in France because of a mean
lady who knits.
Crime and Punishment LITE(tm)
-- by Fyodor Dostoevski
A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later
feels guilty and apologizes.
Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
I always wondered in RPGs why the king/guild master/etc would put the fate of the kingdom/tribe/etc in the hands of a complete noob at the start of the game instead of finding a tank or arch mage. No wonder they are reduced to recruiting any lv1 adventures who happen to wander by.
"Mr President, we've located the terrorist's HQ."
"Great! Send in the Boy Scouts!"
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning