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Windows For Warships Nearly Ready

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the like-windows-for-workgroups-with-guns dept.

mattaw writes "The Register is carrying the sanest and balanced article on Windows deployment in UK warships that I have read to date in the public domain. As an ex-naval bod myself we have long considered that this is potentially a REAL problem. The main issues are the huge amount of unrelated code that is imported with the kernel and the need for incredibly fast response times."

19 of 387 comments (clear)

  1. Oh Oh! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hopefully we will not be in the middle of a war when Patch Tuesday rolls around!

    1. Re:Oh Oh! by docneuro · · Score: 2, Funny

      Windows on warships? Seems as likely to work as a screen door on a submarine.

  2. Well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    at least we know it's already for the Minesweepers.

  3. Blue Screen of Death? by Erioll · · Score: 5, Funny

    How long until the "Blue Screen of Death" (BSOD) has a somewhat more ominous (and literal) meaning?

    1. Re:Blue Screen of Death? by IdleTime · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'm looking forward to Clippy and "Where do you want to attack today?"

      Not sure how to launch the latest megaton H-bomb? Let Clippy guide you...

      --
      If you mod me down, I *will* introduce you to my sister!
    2. Re:Blue Screen of Death? by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 4, Funny

      Not sure how to launch the latest megaton H-bomb? Let Clippy guide you...

      That's the same Clippy that routinely calls home to Microsoft, right?

      Sounds like a good plan to me. ;-)

      --
      If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
  4. Re:well by Shakrai · · Score: 1, Funny

    Just have your CC# ready when you call in for support.

    As long as the problem isn't with the weapons system then I think Microsoft would have a good incentive to provide support free of charge ;)

    --
    I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
    We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
  5. Microsoft War 2007 by Sneakernets · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hi, it appears that you are trying to fight a battle, would you like some help? *shudder*

    --
    "No freeman shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson
  6. I really don't know where to begin... by Nevtje(hr · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...with this one

    System: Are you sure that you want to go out into open waters? Your ship could be the victim of a denial of territory-attack!

    Operator: Yes. Raise the anchor.

    System: Double the killer delete select all?

    Operator: Enemy ship spotted. Fire at will!

    System: Before you can continue, system needs to be rebooted. Restart now?

    Operator: Activate sonar.

    System: Before you can proceed, we need to ensure that you are running Windows Genuine Advantage. Please proceed. We will send all of your hardware info to Microsoft. Information will be treated anonymously.

    Etc etc.

    --
    Three rings for the Elven-kings in the sky
  7. Re:well by slashbob22 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Mod Parent up.
    "+1 Direct Hit"

    --
    Proof by very large bribes. QED.
  8. Re:You need responsiveness and stability by gEvil+(beta) · · Score: 4, Funny

    Actually, Linux IS realtime. But most people don't use it that way, and I'm not sure if there are that many applications really using the realtime extensions...

    Realtime support has been included in the mainline kernel for almost a whole four months now. I can't fathom why they aren't already using it on warships...

    --
    This guy's the limit!
  9. Re:"sanest and balanced"? you're joking by Lord+An · · Score: 2, Funny

    it's no way to justify picking the worst available consumer grade O/S
    Actually, Windows is the perfect OS for this task! To wit: it comes pre-installed with Minesweeper for the destroyers and Solitaire for the submarines...
  10. Why the British don't make computers by wsanders · · Score: 4, Funny

    They haven't found a way to make them leak oil yet!

    --
    Give a man a fish and you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish, and he'll say "WHERE'S MY FISH, YOU IDIOT?"
  11. Re:But It's Still Software From Another Country by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Pssssh, I've been hacking over 300 baud unidirectional modem's for YEARS!

  12. Microsoft Windows Vista -- Warship Edition by michrech · · Score: 4, Funny

    "You are about to launch a missile at your enemy. Cancel or Allow"

    --
    bork bork bork!
  13. You need to turn on Windows Update... by encoderer · · Score: 2, Funny

    You need to turn on Windows Update, bro. This joke was patched years ago. The new Virtual Laugh Machine doesn't provide backwards compatibility for 10 year old jokes, so you'll have to pick between one of these new options:

    1. Bart calls API. "Is your remote registry service running?" "Well, you better go catch it."
    2. Two kernels walk into a bar. The third one panics.

    Next time, please refer to the KB article.

  14. Re:But It's Still Software From Another Country by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "Pssssh, I've been hacking over 300 baud unidirectional modem's for YEARS!"

    i take it you are still waiting for the login prompt to appear on your screen....

  15. Re:But It's Still Software From Another Country by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Full speed ahead and Damn the to ... Crap! who put that iceberg there?

  16. And Why do the British Drink Warm Beer? by good+soldier+svejk · · Score: 2, Funny

    Because they have Lucas regrigerators!

    --
    It is cowardly, and a betrayal of whatever it means to be a Jew, to act as a white man

    -James Baldwin