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RIAA Announces New Campus Lawsuit Strategy

An anonymous reader writes "The RIAA is once again revising their lawsuit strategy, and will now be sending college students and others "pre-lawsuit letters." People will now be able to settle for a discount. How nice."

18 of 299 comments (clear)

  1. Re:A Rose by Any Other Name... by QuantumG · · Score: 3, Funny

    Where's the Mafia? I mean, do the RIAA have a list of college-kids-not-to-sue, cause I would have expected one of these executives to have gotten "wacked" by now for threatenin' a mob boss' kid.

    --
    How we know is more important than what we know.
  2. Pre-letter responses. by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    > The RIAA is once again revising their lawsuit strategy, and will now be sending college students and others "pre-lawsuit letters." People will now be able to settle for a discount. How nice.

    Slashdotters are once again revising their RIAA strategies, and will now be sending RIAA extortionists and barrators "pre-letter responses." Barrators and extortionists will now be encouraged to go fuck themselves sideways with a bowling pin. How goatse.

  3. Yay! by GFree · · Score: 5, Funny

    People will now be able to settle for a discount.
    Now that's what I call customer service!
  4. Re:A Rose by Any Other Name... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    SPOILER: You watch too much TV

  5. Re:Pre-lawsuit letters are cool by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny


    Tag this article: thievingcunts

  6. NEW George Foreman RIAA family lawsuits by linvir · · Score: 4, Funny

    Do YOU have illegally stolen music files on YOUR computer? It's more likely than you think! If you do, then our new discount lawsuits could be for you!

    Our patented lawsuit technology gives you a quick, easy settlement with no fuss. Order now and we'll even throw in this fantastic desk tidy. That's right: a discount lawsuit AND a desk tidy. All for the low one-time sum of 39.99

    Call now, and get your George Foreman RIAA family discount lawsuit settlement. We accept all major credit cards. Get your settlement now and pay nothing for six months. SIX MONTHS!

    Se habla español.

  7. We Will Sue You by Jherek+Carnelian · · Score: 5, Funny

    Buddy you're a boy, make a big noise
    Playing music in school, gonna be a big man some day
    You got music on myspace
    You big disgrace
    Kickin your ipod all over the place

    We will, we will, sue you
    We will, we will, sue you

    Buddy you're a young man, pirate man
    Shoutin' in the school gonna take on the MAFIAA some day
    You got music on myspace
    You big disgrace
    Wavin' your napster all over the place

    We will, we will, sue you
    We will, we will, sue you

    Buddy you're an old man, poor man
    Pleadin' with our lawyers gonna make you pay today

    You lost your court case
    You big disgrace
    The MAFIAA kicked you off of myspace

    We will, we will, sue you
    We will, we will, sue you

  8. My laptop sometimes has problems starting up by gd23ka · · Score: 2, Funny

    I know what you're talking about, we did that a lot in the 90's and it was a lot more social
    meeting face to face with people. And you know you get to meet people and you help them out
    and then they help you out.. Like with my notebook lately, it has sometimes problems starting
    up with new tunes and a friend of mine will hook it up to his notebook with what I believe is a
    starter cable and jumpstart the music machine or the movie engine. Then sometimes its his
    laptop that has novelty stalls from time to time and then we hook them together again with the
    starter cable.

  9. Lawsuit Money by lymond01 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I wonder if students can get financial aid to help with this...

  10. Re:Operators are standing by! by Firehed · · Score: 2, Funny

    Tossing it a free knife set to an angry student who's about to meet with a RIAA lawyer might not be the best idea...

    --
    How are sites slashdotted when nobody reads TFAs?
  11. Profit!! by teslar · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ok, I think I can guess the Powerpoint Slide that led to these letters:

    1. Get postal addresses of students accross the U.S. via their University
    2. Send them pre-lawsuit letters
    3. Wait for a fraction of the students to take up the discount offer
    4. PROFIT!!

    Note the absence of both an ??? and an "prove that the individual is infringing copyright" steps.

  12. Next Step by rlp · · Score: 2, Funny

    The RIAA's Department of Pre-Infringement sends you a letter warning that they know you were planning to infringe and demanding a settlement.

    (Oops, I just infringed on the work of Philip K. Dick).

    --
    [Insert pithy quote here]
  13. Re:A Rose by Any Other Name... by John_Sauter · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...I got through all seven years of college without once firing up a P2P app....

    I suspect quite a few Slashdot readers made it all the way through school without using a P2P application.

    John Sauter, class of 1967

  14. hah... by luzerlinux · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'd like to see them actually squeeze any money from my broke college ass, it'd be like magic.

  15. Re:Where is the story here? by StikyPad · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's USENET unfortunate USENET that USENET there's USENET no USENET decentralized USENET content USENET distribution USENET system USENET with USENET practically USENET anonymous USENET access.

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    --
    Snowden and Manning are heroes.
  17. Re:A Rose by Any Other Name... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    So to protect against a vampire, hire a vampire? Hey, worked in Hellsing.
  18. Re:A Rose by Any Other Name... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm sure you discreetly swapped punch cards in your day...