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NASA Can't Pay for Killer Asteroid Hunt
CGISecurity.com writes "NASA officials say the space agency is capable of finding nearly all the asteroids that might pose a devastating hit to Earth, but there isn't enough money to pay for the task so it won't get done. 'We know what to do, we just don't have the money,' said Simon 'Pete' Worden, director of NASA's Ames Research Center." But hey, it's just the potential end of the world, so nothing much to worry about there.
I'd certainly like to know. I've got a decent chunk of change sitting in my retirement accounts that i could throw one hell of a world-ending party with.
This is Jenny. She and her family are having a picnic at the foot of a volcano. Oh no. The volcano has errupted. What do you do now Jenny? That's right duck and cover. What do you do Jimmy? Duck and cover. DUCK AND COVER!
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
The explosion alone could have with the power of 100 million tons of dynamite, enough to devastate an entire state, such as Maryland, they said.
Maryland? Here in Texas, we call that a "county". Call me when you have something that can devastate a real state.
Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
I like the part where they say... "enough to devastate an entire state, such as Maryland"
"Oh, not that we'd WANT anything to happen to Maryland, Congress. No. But, you know, sometimes things go wrong. Especially when NASA doesn't get funding. It makes NASA so disappointed when it doesn't get funding, and when you're disappointed, you sometimes don't look so hard for killer asteroids. You know how it is."
In my opinion, all NASA needs to do is present congress with a scientific statistic claim with percent confidence of global destruction. If we have craters on our planet & there are bones of things that shouldn't have died lying all around, I'm guessing they could place something like a 1% chance of a decent sized asteroid hitting us within a couple thousand years. Given that information, $1 billion may not seem like a bad idea considering most of us employ smoke detectors with even less risk of harm/loss to us.
This sounds like an entirely rational, sensible argument. As a result, I predict that it will have absolutely zero effect on anyone in Congress.
As an alternative, I suggest you come up with some "evidence" suggesting that an asteroid impact would transform their children into mutants, preferably homosexual ones; or, that the asteroids are a Arab Terrorist Plot. Double points if the asteroid is Mexican.
"Ladies and gentlemen, my killbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun. It is the finest available."
We could just cut out the middle man and send Steven Tyler into space to eat it....or maybe Chuck Norris could give it a roundhouse.
Beer! It's what's for breakfast!
Quota from Armageddon - "No offense General, but it's a big ass sky..."
That's just more proof that we don't have to do anything... There's still exactly as much life on Jupiter now as there was before it was hit; therefore if the Earth is hit by a similar-sized object, life will survive just fine. Q.E.D.
Don't blame me; I'm never given mod points.
You forgot to mention that the asteroid looks like a breast, and will be visible to the naked eye (albeit for a couple milliseconds) before it hits. Then maybe the FCC would drop some of it's budget on the problem.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
That would never work. Didn't you ever see "Armageddon"? That explains it all! It's the difference between holding a firecracker in an open hand versus a clenched fist. If you just throw nukes at a killer asteroid, it's not disintegrating, you're just breaking off small chunks. What you need is a tight-knit, highly competent, yet maverick and juvenile sea platform drilling crew so you can train them as astronauts, and launch them into space so they can embed the nukes in the asteroid's core and blow it to bits!
Taking guns away from the 99% gives the 1% 100% of the power.
Sure we can. I saw a documentary not long ago that showed how we could fly onto the comment and drill a nuclear weapon into the core and explode it. All we need is to make sure Ben Afflack's schedule is empty.
"The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became truth." ~1984 George Orwell
Call it a hunch, but I have a feeling that most chefs, servers, waitresses, entertainers are not going to want to spend their last days working their asses off for Zeek40 let alone a bunch of rich bankers.
Doesn't Halliburton do asteroid diversion?
With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter. -- William Lloyd
Per the movie, you can destroy the asteroid with as little as eighteen hours to go, provided you recruit not just any sea platform oil driller, but the best sea platform oil driller in the world..
Step into a huge movement. Don't Tread In Me.
in soviet russia, asteroid finds YOU!
oh, wait.
So instead of doing something valuable like finding killer asteroids that actually exist and have hit the world in the last 100 years, we send a mission to Mars, send up commercial satellites on government paid for shuttles?
I don't think any asteroids that have hit the world in the last 100 years are likely to hit it again any time soon....
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That way I could greet the end of the world heavily in debt and with an empty wine cellar.
Fortunately, I don't have do anything once the asteroid is detected. I'm already heavily in debt and with an empty wine cellar.
Don't you just need a pick and shovel and a mule to mine with? Okay it's going to be hard to stick a space helmet on one but it's got to be cheaper than all the fancy hardware.
There is currently ongoing research as to how to most effectively destroy the planet:
http://qntm.org/destroy
Please note that the information at that site should be used for educational purposes only, and by no means should you actually attempt to destroy the world. ^_^
Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact or fact are transmission errors.
NASA just needs to classify it under the War on Terra.
Seriously?! They're going to use a Red Dwarf plot device to save the planet?! Cool!
Man, you really need that seminar!