Slashdot Mirror
Tricked-Out Cars Trickling Down
Good sends us to an IBTimes article on the expanding trend for more options for electronic gadgetry — telematics — in cars. Manufacturers are including more high-tech options in more models, including low-end models, as component prices drop and as the car makers attempt to sell to a demographic that has grown up surrounded by personal electronics. According to a telematics analyst, Bluetooth hands-free modules for cell phones will be available on more than a third of car models sold in the US in 2007, and auxiliary jacks for iPods in nearly half. From the article: "One of the industry's more advanced systems will be Ford's Sync, which connects digital music players to the car's voice-control communications system and reads aloud cell-phone text messages and has 20 preset text-message responses... The flash memory-based system, controlled through voice commands and buttons on the steering wheel, is based on a Microsoft Corp. operating system for cars."
From the article:
Sheeesh, I remember the good old days when the joke began with: "If Microsoft made cars..."
Blasted Slippage of Doom.
Boom, Suck, Open, Dump. Words often associated with the Goatse.cx guy.
"Blue Screen of Death
In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Ballmer revealed that the Redmond-based company will allow computer resellers and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system crashes.
The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked, "What do you spend the most time doing on your computer?"
A surprising number of respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death." At 54 percent, it was the top answer, beating the second place answer "Downloading XXXScans" by an easy 12 points.
"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves, our channel partners, and especially our customers," explained the excited Ballmer to a room full of reporters.
Immense video displays were used to show images of the new customizable BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version. Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes," allowing them to instead have a Mauve Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and entertainment to Windows users.
The BSOD is by far the most recognized feature of the Windows operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically insisted on total control over its look and feel. This recent departure from that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop itself as the "ultimate information portal." By default, the new BSOD will be configured to show a random selection of Microsoft product information whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on systems they ship.
Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are already lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD. Ballmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source community. "This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even has a BSOD, let alone a customizable one.""
You: "Allow."
Car: "The brakes are about to be applied. Cancel or allow?"
You: "Allow!"
Car: "The car is about to slow down. Cancel or allow?"
You: "Allow, dammit!"
Car: "The car is about to hit that truck. Cancel or allow?"
You: "Shit!"
Crunch
This is going to change car ads as we know them....
...Like, twelve... Hey, what's that backing-up-and-turning maneuver you're doing? ...Wish I could do that...
Young hipster: Hello, I'm a Scion XB.
Middle-age guy in a suit: And I'm a Ford Expedition.
YH: We both have four doors.
MAH: Four wheels.
YH: And an engine.
MAH: But that's where the similarities end. You see, I have room for seven.
YH: So? I have room for five.
MAH: And I can tow 6000 pounds.
YH: And yet, we both spend most of our time in traffic, with just one person inside. What's your MPG again?
MAH:
YH: It's called parallel parking.
MAH:
"Oh boy! Are we going to try something dangerous?"
I agree. I'm reading your comment while driving right now$#*U#U*#FCG *CARRIER LOST*
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
"One of the industry's more advanced systems will be Ford's Sync, which connects digital music players to the car's voice-control communications system and reads aloud cell-phone text messages and has 20 preset text-message responses... The flash memory-based system, controlled through voice commands and buttons on the steering wheel, is based on a Microsoft Corp. operating system for cars."
Microsoft's voice recognition did so well in a quiet room, they decided to give it a real test and see how it performs in a noisy car.
I can see it now :
driver : Check voice mail
computer : turning on radio, volume set to 10
driver : AAAAAAGH! (ears bleed, car hits telephone pole)
computer : delete select all
I can't wait for someone i know to get one so i can call him and leave a voice mail that issues commands to his car when he listens to it.
Darth --
Nil Mortifi, Sine Lucre
What do you mean? Apple *invented* the 3.5mm minijack.
I can't believe people are still trotting out this tired old line. Apple licensed Xerox's 1/4 inch jack technology, made a few tweaks and shipped it in a smaller footprint.
There are shills on slashdot. Apparently, I'm one of them.
How about a large explosive charge for small cars? That way, if the car is impacted with enough force to kill the occupants, it detonates, killing the people in the SUV that hit them. Think MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) for vehicles.
Would spelling and grammar be considered in deciding who was smart enough to own a smart car?
How many fulltime jobs can one man have?