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'Gates for President' Group Gives Up

Posted by samzenpus on from the know-when-to-fold-them dept.

netbuzz writes "Dilbert creator Scott Adams had done his best to make this fantasy (or nightmare, depending on your point of view) a viable notion, but after three months of trying the group's leader has acknowledged that it's unlikely Gates will give up his current gig. They've tossed in the towel." Here is our original coverage of this ill-conceived plan.

17 of 274 comments (clear)

  1. Why would he? by macmastery · · Score: 5, Funny

    Isn't it a pay cut?

  2. He was a criminal? by smaerd · · Score: 3, Funny

    "..but after three months of trying the group's leader..."
    What was he charged with?

    1. Re:He was a criminal? by blueforce · · Score: 4, Funny

      ...violating, the rules, of grammar;

      --
      If you do what you always did, you get what you always got.
  3. No way he'd win... by Necreia · · Score: 3, Funny

    No way he'd win, it would cost too much to bribe him.

  4. Secret list of committee to elect Gates by zymano · · Score: 2, Funny

    -Microsoft shareholders.

    -Antivirus companies

    -Computer techs/Best Buy and pimped warranties.

    -Indian outsourcers.

    -Foreign charities.

  5. Re:Not a Microsoft fan, but better than neo-cons by RulerOf · · Score: 1, Funny

    While the economy would prosper from non-tariffed overseas sales of Microsoft and Dell goods, the resulting civil war from the Apple and Linux sympathizing states would most certainly bring it right back down.

    --
    Boot Windows, Linux, and ESX over the network for free.
  6. What, no Microsoft web server? by ttg512 · · Score: 5, Funny

    This seems to be the problem...
    Server: Apache Webserver
    X-Pingback: http://www.billgatesforpresident.net/xmlrpc.php
    X-Powered-By: PHP/4.4.4
    Why would Bill support anything with this kind of response header?

  7. POTUAC by Orange+Crush · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're giving up on Mr. Gates's presidential aspirations.

    Cancel or Allow?

  8. They're Right by Shadow+Wrought · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dogbert is a much better and, in the long run, safer choice. The sooner we elect him the less severe our penalties for waiting will be.

    --
    If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
  9. Now we're left with Obama, McCain, and Romney by gillrock · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...and there is much rejoicing.

    --
    "...the shortest distance between two points may be straight line, but it is by no means the most interesting."
  10. Jobs for President by rlp · · Score: 2, Funny

    Adams could just switch his support to Steve Jobs. Jobs could run on a platform to:

    1) Change the name of the US to 'iCountry'.
    2) Ban Thanksgiving
    3) Replace ballistic missile defense with a national reality distortion field.

    --
    [Insert pithy quote here]
    1. Re:Jobs for President by Bassman59 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Adams could just switch his support to Steve Jobs. Jobs could run on a platform to:

      3) Replace ballistic missile defense with a national reality distortion field.

      The interesting thing is that the reality distortion field actually works.

    2. Re:Jobs for President by dimeglio · · Score: 2, Funny

      This explains why Gates is not running. He's waiting for Jobs to do so then Gates will inexplicably steal the elections. It will later be discovered that the voting machines ran Windows for Democracy.

      --
      Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the author.
    3. Re:Jobs for President by StrahdVZ · · Score: 2, Funny
      He'd have a great employment slogan:


      Vote Jobs for jobs!

  11. Who would Gates attack? by EmbeddedJanitor · · Score: 2, Funny
    The whole Iraqi war has nothing to do with terrorism. If is far easier to find a link between Bush's interests in the oil industry and destabilizing oil production to boost the income from Bush's oil buddies. In other words, like wars of long ago, this war is more about the leader's [ersonal interests than anything else.

    Would Gates declare war on Linux-loving nations?

    --
    Engineering is the art of compromise.
  12. Clippy for VP! by owlnation · · Score: 4, Funny

    It seems that you're trying to invade Iran. I can help you with that...

  13. "Let's cut off their air supply..." by mkcmkc · · Score: 2, Funny

    That line from Microsoft's past would fit right in at Gitmo...

    --
    "Not an actor, but he plays one on TV."