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Work Unhappy or Move On?
dunnowhat2type asks: "I grew up around a big city (suburbs of NY) and went to college in a relatively different area (upstate NY). After graduating last May, I took a job in the area where I went to college. I started in July, and was given a relocation package contingent on me staying for a year. Since August, I haven't been happy with the area I have been living in and have actively been pursuing employment back in the city. What am I better off doing: Is it better to be miserable with money, work experience, and health insurance; or going home and being happy, but unemployed?"
In January, the program I was working on got cancelled and my manager didn't want to commit me to something long-term, with the knowledge that I didn't plan on staying more than six months. He made me a time-based offer (probably expiring soon) that he'd take every effort to get the relocation payback waived if I were to resign, find an internal transfer, or another job. I had a couple of interviews a month ago, but nothing else has happened, and this uncertainty (with the pressure of having to make this decision) has made the last two weeks really hellish."
It's easier to find a job when you have one. There is some kind of psychology that happens when you are interviewed -- if you have a job, it looks like you are successful and worth having at a company. If you have no job, it looks like you are a loser. Not saying that either is true, but that's the basic idea someone gets when you are in an interview. You can convince them otherwise during the interview process, but why not start things off on the right foot?
Also, you will have to figure out how to fit work into your life from this point on. You're a long way from retirement. I don't recommend voluntarily leaving employment for non-employment. Have your next thing lined up -- go back to school, travel and do some soul-searching, take on a new job, do something other than just 'moving back home'.
Oh, and you can never go home. You won't be happy if you go back home ( especially if you're not working ). Everything has changed -- including you. You're not a child anymore, and you have to start learning how to take care of yourself. It's tough, but the more you tough it out, the quicker you will find your niche.
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
-- Pablo Picasso
Choose happiness. If you can get that waiver, and if you're cool with living simply for a bit, you can probably get by until you find a new job. Of course, that's contingent on your financial situation, since I don't know if you've fallen into the trap that so many people have: accruing enough debt that any loss of income is catastrophic. If you're fortunate enough to be able to pare down your living expenses to an absolute minimum, definitely choose happiness. Fall back, consider your options, and then move on with a clear mind and firm intent.
I've met too many damned people (and I mean that in the Dante's Inferno sense) who are trapped in a horrific cycle of misery due to their job, living arrangements, or debt. Too many are either unable to change their lives, or are too scared to take the leap and make a change. Ultimately, I think it comes down to what's more important to you: security and stability that may be stifling and unfulfilling, or the uncertain pursuit of happiness and self-actualisation. Oddly enough, I think the entire nation is struggling with that same decision right now! Of course, the two aren't mutually exclusive, but I'd advise you to choose happiness over stability any day of the week.
P.P.S. I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
First of all, you're at a time in your life when you have plenty of options. And you're also in a time in your life when you'll start to develop habits and beliefs that will guide you in the future.
One recommendation is to drop any limiting beliefs. It's never either/or. You can be happy, AND have money, AND gain experience. You can even be unemployed at the same time (or well, self-employed). Once you start to truly believe this, opportunities will appear like magic. If you don't believe me, then stop reading.
Don't think of your situation as "hellish". Think of it as the most amazing opportunity to move forward you've ever had in your life up this point. Don't just do a "couple" interviews, do one as often as you can. Interview to be a burger flipper at McDonalds, whatever, just get on your feet and talk to people.
Another recommendation above was to just "do something". That's generally good advice as well. Don't just "go home".
One thing the world doesn't need is more of those boring, depressing people who have no lives outside of work, yet WHINE about their jobs and bosses so that that don't feel all alone in their little dark hole they CHOSE to bury themselves in. So don't be one of those guys. They don't die happy.
You can earn money in many ways. You can buy your own health insurance. You can gain experience on your own. The only thing you can't do "on your own" is learn about office politics, ass-kissing, backstabbing, being on the wrong end of sexual harrassment lawsuit, having your ideas "owned" by your company, and all the fun stuff that having a "normal" job gets you.
Of course you are free to disagree, but it worked for me.
Wow, those previous answers were great, I'm not sure I can beat them. But here's my add anyway:
Don't think about "this job" or "this city", think about your life: where do you want to be in 10 years? If you don't know, what about 5 years? If you still don't know, just figure out what you want *next* year. Then determine which of the options before you will get you one step closer to that plan.
Sometimes the job itself, though sucky, will get you closer. Sometimes the job is useless, but the *money* gets you closer.
As for the relocation thing, you might see if your company has an ombudsman to help you iron that out.
Not that this wasn't entirely predictable.
You wouldn't happen to have a trust fund would you? Because if you're seriously considering bailing because of being unhappy for 12 months, you're strenth is weak. But, if you'll just hang in there, and remember what makes you unhappy about this job... or its location, you're less likely to make a later choice that puts you in the same position or worse. Then, you will be that much stronger.
Also, as an earlier (I think) poster mentioned, recruiters can be very helpful: even if they don't directly land you a job they can give you an overview of the job market for your skills (for better or worse) and they can be great cheerleaders for you (which is part of them being good sales people to the clients they try to place you with).
Well I have priorities.
1 Eat. (and other necessities)
2 Be happy.
3 lots of money.
Once I can take care of the basics I worry about being happy.
Next priority is to make sure I'm happy with my general situation.
After that I go for more experience and money and stuff.
Long term unhappiness is a drag on your health, and is very expensive. When I'm bummed out I spend lots more on stuff, when I'm happy I can get by on less.
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars,
compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good
health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed
interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your
friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a
three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics.
Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing
game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose
rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable
home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up
brats you spawned to replace yourself.
Choose your future.
Choose life.
I think this point can't be stressed enough. I was layed off from a job I was miserable at some years ago, and for the first month or two I was in the "excited" mode. Then my savings started looking a bit thin and every day I was unemployed was another reminder of unjobbiness. My parents bought me groceries a couple times (which I appreciated, but didn't make me feel much better about myself) but they weren't really in a financial position to do much. So, the next couple months after that were far worse than anything I'd ever felt at the job. I'm just glad I'd socked away enough money to make it fine, instead of a lot of my coworkers caught in the same layoffs who had spent everything they had on laptops, cars, etc.
The upshot of all that is, when you're unhappy at a job, the freedom of unemployment can be very appealing. But unless you've really set up your life and finances to be prepared for it, it can end up far worse than the job.
(btw, I ended up getting a job making about 33% more than I was, on the absolute last day possible to make my bills. I finished out the month after my first paycheck with about 50 cents in the bank account.)