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New Monkey Species Found in Uganda

Posted by samzenpus on from the but-can-it-clean-the-bathroom dept.

Anonymous Coward writes "The discovery of a new monkey species that's found only in Uganda is being overshadowed by the imminent destruction of much of the animal's habitat."

32 comments

  1. Perfect by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    Just in time for the US presidential election.

  2. Sucks to be a monkey. by AbsoluteXyro · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hey. Survival of the fittest, right? If nature intended these monkeys to live, they would have been endowed with bulldozer crippling super-strength! Or they would at least look cute. But they weren't, and they don't.

    1. Re:Sucks to be a monkey. by snowgirl · · Score: 2, Funny

      What are you talking about, I think they're adorable!!!

      Well, unless they start flinging poo....

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      WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS
    2. Re:Sucks to be a monkey. by MarkRose · · Score: 1

      I think they're dying out because of a lack of wild monkey sex.

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      Be relentless!
    3. Re:Sucks to be a monkey. by gutnor · · Score: 1

      The important question: What do they taste ?
      Maybe nature made them a favor after all ...

    4. Re:Sucks to be a monkey. by plover · · Score: 1

      The Onion discovered this species a year ago.

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      John
    5. Re:Sucks to be a monkey. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      >> Or they would at least look cute. But they weren't, and they don't.

      Sure, but how do they taste? That's the question!

    6. Re:Sucks to be a monkey. by Drooling+Iguana · · Score: 1

      There's no wrong way to eat a Rhesus.

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      ... I'm addicted to placebos
  3. Yawn... OH.. REALLY??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    is being overshadowed

    Every kind of news is about something overshadowed these days.

  4. It is... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    the famous codemonkey!

  5. The locals want to preserve the forest by soren100 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    This decision was attacked by many Ugandans, who saw it as a threat to tourism and water resources.

    This is interesting because it shows that the "locals" in Africa are becoming aware of the value of land for eco-tourism and the value of the fresh, clean water in the area.

    Hopefully this discovery can help the citizens of Uganda fight back against cronyism and corporatism and help preserve nature.

    If the land gets razed, it will only go to make more sugar and palm oil plantations, which would just go into making more Twinkies or other junk food. I am really glad there are people fighting to preserve the land and the monkeys!

    1. Re:The locals want to preserve the forest by had3l · · Score: 1

      Maybe they should get into the Monkey Business.

    2. Re:The locals want to preserve the forest by stratjakt · · Score: 1

      make more sugar and palm oil plantations, which would just go into making more Twinkies or other junk food.

      There's little sugar in junk food, the industry has been taken over by high fructose corn syrup.

      The sugar and palm oil is for ethanol and bio-diesel, respectively. Ethanol is the future of the sugar industry, it's less and less relevant as a foodstuff every day.

      You thought the razing of forests was bad when we were just trying to feed ourselves? Just wait until the knee-jerk reaction to climate change mandates that we start growing all our fuel.

      --
      I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
  6. Whoa, I must be tired by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Or the dyslexia is particularly bad tonight. I read that title as "Sea Monkey Species Found in Uganda" and was like WTF?!

  7. Tony Snow? by photomonkey · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    Washington Post writers were looking for Tony Snow while Bush was in South America.

    Is it possible this new discovery in Uganda is he?

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    Message contains 1 attachment: spam.gif
  8. Before you all start pointing fingers... by erroneus · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...I was no where NEAR Uganda. I mean it!

  9. Props go to Ricky Gervais by FMota91 · · Score: 0

    "I found a new species!" "Oh? What is it?" "It's a slightly-longer-tailed monkey." "Are you sure you didn't just pull on it to make it longer?" "Nope. Where's my paycheck?"

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    09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C1 bottles of beer on the wall. Take one down, pass it round... Oh, umm...
  10. NPR by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I heard about this on public radio, but couldn't figure out what show. Does anyone have a link to the audio?

  11. Robert Mugabe's father perhaps ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    It sounds like someone found Robert Mugabe's father.

    Sorry - it's not kind to poke fun at those so unfortunate :-(

  12. What do you get... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    ...when you put a monkey in a Cuisinart?

    A: RHESUS PIECES!

  13. We've seen one before by ross.w · · Score: 1

    Were they throwing chairs?

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    If my call is important, why am I talking to a recording?
  14. cue the jokes... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    cue the Ballmer jokes in 3.. 2.. 1..

  15. CowboyNeal? by Bl4d3 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Who let CowboyNeal loose in Uganda? And why is someone trying to destroy his home.. that's not fair

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    40% Funny, 40% Insightful, 40% Informative, 40% Dolomite
  16. Clarification by Jugalator · · Score: 1

    Note that this is about the Ugandan grey-cheeked Mangabey. There are other grey-cheeked Mangabeys too, and as a whole that species is currently not in danger of having their habitats destroyed.

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    Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
    1. Re:Clarification by Jugalator · · Score: 1

      Sorry, got it clarified on Wikipedia that is was first thought to be a new subspecies, but has since been upgraded to its own species. So the title isn't wrong or anything, but it should probably be said anyway, because one may think they're saying that these Mangabeys are threatened, while only a specific part of them are.

      --
      Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
  17. New Species of Monkey Gone Extinct in Africa by RationalRoot · · Score: 2, Insightful

    New Species of Monkey Gone Extinct in Africa
    You know it's only a matter of time, so now you can say that you read it here first.

    --
    http://davesboat.blogspot.com/
  18. You know what by vga_init · · Score: 0, Troll

    I'm damned tired of all these hippie environmentalists talking about their species and deforestation. Every time they want to get in the way of human progress they try to confuse us with taxonomic "data" and "facts." Doesn't Slashdot realize that this is just a liberal commie conspiracy? DOESN'T ANYONE

  19. Not as tired as me by spun · · Score: 1

    I thought it said, "Nude Monkey Species Founded Ubuntu," and I was like, "Duh. Of course humans founded Ubuntu."

    --
    - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton