Slashdot Mirror
Leaked Microsoft Dossier on Journalist
Ludvig A. Norin writes "Wired journalist Fred Vogelstein blogs about how he accidentally got hold of a dossier on himself produced by Microsoft's PR firm, Waggener Edstrom. While it's not unusual for PR people to create background files on journalists, it's notable that this one leaked, and got commented by Waggener Edstrom's Frank Shaw and Wired Magazine editor in chief Chris Anderson. Makes for an interesting read — there's lots to learn from the inner workings of the Microsoft PR machinery." Someone please send me mine? I bet it's really friendly!
You aren't a fucking journalist.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
The Malebox Bar
Ever since Eric Raymond had raped him at his house in Holland and later again at Slashdot New Year's Eve party, Rob Malda's life had reached an all time low. Sleeping until four or five in the evening, he would wake and surf the 'net for pictures of young, boyish men and call and talk tearfully to Hemos on the phone. He ignored Slashdot, thinking himself above editing tech-news, while his Open Source stocks slipped. Depression and anxiety had Rob so entirely that it seemed he would never again enjoy life. He had truly hit bottom.
In the midst of his malaise, Rob had forgotten his birthday but Hemos managed to coax him out for a night on the town across the state in Detroit. After their little road trip, the pair went on a shopping spree, took in a movie, and ate dinner at a very chic -- and expensive -- restaurant. After stopping for ice cream, the two friends headed to Rob's favorite Detroit night spot, the Malebox Bar. There they wasted no time dancing to the latest hard house remixes and downing shot after shot of watermelon Jolly Rancher drinks.
As time wore on and mix after mix pounded the dance floor, Rob and Hemos began feeling tipsy and decided to take a break in the club's arcade. The two fought through Mortal Kombat like an old married couple, went back and forth in Altered Beast, and played a couple rounds of Spy Hunter. The conversation had slowly turned to MAME, an Open Source program that emulated dozens of arcade games by means of illegally pirated ROM files, as they began playing Rampage. Rob and Hemos had gigs and gigs of illegally pirated ROM files.
It's ludicrous playing video games here when we have MAME on our systems at home, Hemos said as he punched Rob in the back of the head and jumped halfway up a building.
Yeah, Rob said as he smashed a tank. But you can't get any action sitting at home playing video games like you can here.
Too bad there's no way to pick up guys and play MAME at the same time, Hemos said as he ate a bathing woman and burped. That would be the best.
Yeah, that would be pretty great, Rob said.
Rob stopped climbing the building he was on, leaving Hemos to smash the building and jump away before it collapsed. Rob fell on his butt and lost some life.
Rob, are you okay? Hemos asked while button-mashing Rob's character into oblivion. Rob?
Hemos continued speaking, but Rob wasn't there. His eyes were wide and glazed, focused elsewhere. He was smiling weird and crooked as the game showed in reverse in his eyes. Hemos finally turned to look at Rob.
Robert Hubert Malda! Hemos yelled, hands on hips in frustration. Not waiting for a response, he reached out and pinched his friend's elbow. He didn't like that look in his eyes -- it always meant something bad was about to happen. Rob came to, shaking his head and stepping back from the game, which was now blinking GAME OVER at him. He turned and looked at Hemos, who was fuming.
Jeff, uh, I'm sorry. I- I guess I zoned out there for a minute, he said as he looked around the bar. I, um. I'll be right back.
And before Jeff could say a word, Rob was off like a flash into the crowd.
Jesus Christ, Rob! Jeff said between breaths. This thing is heavy and there's barely room for it in my back seat!
Ha, yeah right, Rob said, grunting. There's always room in your back seat!
Jeff rolled his eyes at Rob's little jab. You be nice, you're lucky I'm letting you do this.
With one final shove and groan, Rob was finished, and the old, worn arcade game shell was wedged tightly the back seat of Jeff's VW Jetta. They bound the back doors to the machine with bungie cord and then tied their red hankies to it, sat down against the side of the car, and lit cigarettes.
So what exactly are you going to do with this thing? Hemos asked between puffs. You're building a MAME system?
My plan is much more ambitious than just some MAME system, Rob said, smirking. But it's based on the same concept. It also combines my love of hai
Why don't you stop defending an obvious asshat?
How brown is your nose and you still got modded down? LOL!!!!111!!!1
Yea, and your just a flying squid right?
Nothing to say here. Just like the name.
More likely Digg, since Slashdot has become irrelevant.
farting your dumb shit on here hardly matters to ms.
It'd be silly if the PR people would ignore Slashdot. They don't. [We are just like you, dear reader ... and we care about you ... sleep.]
Oh, that and Slashdot has a larger readership than Wired. Quit bullshitting.
Your PR goal, as is evident to your Wired target, is to make others carry your message. You dedicated 5,000 pages to that little spin how to. Your company's efforts here are just what they were for BBS's where you slammed and FUDed OS/2 and DRDoS. Your company also considers developers as pawns to be lied to, and slashdot gives you both - how convenient. The same tricks and bullshit are in play here today, but on a much larger scale.
It's not working. We know you for what you are and your "products" are things we'd rather avoid. The bottom line is that a billion dollars a month can't replace actual product. Zune, Vista and Office are second or third rate. Try as you might, the industry is liberating itself and the end of your monopoly is near.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
A blatant Astroturfer pretends he masturbates over Forbe's glossy pages:
but it reads to me as a good professional briefing by an efficient PR outfit. ... I totally agree. My first thought, before even finishing reading the memo, was, dang, how do I get these people to work for me?
Oh, sure everyone wants a world wide spy and spin organization preparing 5,000 word papers your other minions must read. There is nothing like having more power and paperwork than the UN and half the world's companies. It only costs a billion dollars a month to own that many slaves.
Come one, did you even read all of that crap? Would you really want to apply Peter Quinn type hit tactics to people?
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.
Office is second rate? And OpenOffice, by emulating it, is a first-rate product emulating a second rate product?
No, Office is a second rate imitation of Word Perfect, Latex, Emacs, Lotus, QuatroPro, FileMaker and a host of other better programs that M$ put out of business. Open Office, Kword, Gnumeric, Abiword and other free programs are better reimplementations of age old ideas if for no other reason than saving the user from the M$ data roach motel.
You probably think I'm part of some evil borg hive-mind now, but your characterization of Microsoft as one voice, ...
Yes, because you are touting the M$ party line and saying things about me as if you know me, I can conclude you are a M$ Astroturfer. That does not mean you represent any of the people who work for M$, it just means you are paid to read a script here and annoy people. You may have been given a file about who Twitter is, which would tie in to this story very well. I fully expect M$ to be keeping a PR database that rivals those owned by Casinos. It's pretty clear they are not putting their effort into anything other than marketing.
The number of hysterical anti-Microsoft geeks is slowly decreasing ...
There never was such a thing. Free software users are serene. It's your customers that have problems and act cranky. At the same time, you don't need to worry about people like me. I'm still outraged at the way your abuse your customers and other vendors in ways that make my life difficult.
Friends don't help friends install M$ junk.