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Dvorak to Apple - Stop The iPhone
eldavojohn writes "John Dvorak is advising Apple to cease all efforts on the iPhone, citing the mobile handset business as a 'buzz saw waiting to chop up newbies.' With Apple's image as a 'hot company that can do no wrong' on the line, Dvorak warns that the extremely fad-prone marketplace for cell phones will quickly turn the 'hot' iPhone passe'. Unless the company has several new models in the pipeline to release after the original offering, he says, they're likely to fail. 'If it's smart it will call the iPhone a "reference design" and pass it to some suckers to build with someone else's marketing budget. Then it can wash its hands of any marketplace failures.'"
I wasn't sure how the iPhone would fare, but now that Dvorak is against it - I can rest assured it will be a success.
Oh, wait. JOHN Dvorak? Nevermind.
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. - Cmdr. Susan Ivanova
Without John, how would I know what's not going to happen in the future?
Also consider dropping OSX. We're all using OS/2 now.
Doesn't that depend on a Slashdot reader to RTFA ?
Unless the company has several new models in the pipeline to release after the original offering, he says, they're likely to fail.
Good thing Apple is already working hard to make sure the iPhone is laughably obsolete upon release.
Okay, so a philosopher, a philologist, and a philatelist walk into a bar...
Ask not for whom he trolls, he trolls for thee.
No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
Article by John Dvorak
(-99,000) Troll
cat
I thought no one RTFA, so where is the profit?
- These characters were randomly selected.
It's a good thing Dvorak is an intelligent, experienced businessman who has himself run a highly successful, multi-billion dollar company similar to Apple, and not just some blabbering wash-up with a column.
I can't understand why Apple haven't hired him yet. I mean, does there exist anyone that can beat his predictions, except perhaps Nostradamus?
Had the major companies listened to everything Dvorak says, they would have been rich by now!
Why, John! I didn't know you posted on Slashdot!
Suddenly it all makes sense. All the trolls, the bad arguments, the poor attempts at putting Apple down. It was you the whole time, wasn't it? Oh John, you're such a kidder!
Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
Avoid Missing Ball for High Score
Obviously the guy's a moron -- I mean, no one I know of even uses his bass-ackwards keyboard layouts!
- John
Before commenting I always read the story or stories indicated. However, in this case I realized my mistake as soon as I clicked the link. I gave that bofoon one more hit to drive his hit count up. Maybe I'll start posting articles on my blog like:
.NET GUI and Open GL based file-system.
Microsoft - Should get out of the operating systems business and start a chain of chicken finger restaurants.
Oracle - Relational databases are just a fad, they should diversify into concrete.
Apple - Should just liquidate the company and payout the sharholders (oops - Michael Dell beat me to that one).
Hooters - Is there a Hooters O/S in the works? It should be built on BSD with a Linux Kernel,
Linux - Who would ever use a non-Unix Unix clone? It'll never make it in the server market. Trovalds should build an aquarium.
Google - Who needs search? I already have everything worth reading bookmarked.
Gartner - They're always soo right about the future, they should publish lottery numbers.
Amazon - No one will ever get that Amazon sells books, they should sell snakes, large bugs and other things found in the actual Amazon.
NASA - Should use string cheese to build the world's first space elevator.
Doctors - From now on they should only operate on the healthy, where survival is much more likely.
Viagra - Should exclusively market itself on the Internet using spam.
and finally!!!
Slashdot - Nerds don't care about news. I bet they don't get any postings or hits.
This way I can drive my advertising revenue up and get quoted a lot, even if I'm bizarrly and outrageously mistaken.
Leave the gun, take the cannoli -- Clemenza, The Godfather
As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable. There is no likelihood that Apple can be successful in a business this competitive, and there is no evidence that it can play the game fast enough. - Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
> Without John, how would I know what's not going to happen in the future?
:-)
Goat entrails. Believe it or not, they're just as accurate (if not more) than he is
Of course, that's not saying much...
"In the game of life, someone always has to lose. To me, if life were fair, that someone would always be Oklahoma." -DKR
There is a job opening at NSA.
There is a spark in every single flame bait point.
I quite like his New World Symphony. On the other hand, I never really got on with his keyboard. Overall, I'd say I'm neutral.
Only three things are certain; death, taxes, and apocryphal quotations - Ben Franklin.
Are you kidding me? I absolutely love his keyboard layouts! I use it anytime I find a co-worker that has left his station unlocked! http://www.microsoft.com/enable/training/windowsxp /keyboardlayout.aspx ;)
Sorry, this thread is for bashing Dvorak and Zonk. Any actual insightful comments should be reserved for a later article on the iPhone. The next iPhone story--possibly from a more benign source, like CNet--should be up shortly. Check back in about two hours.
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
I think you're looking for this : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
Oh, I don't know about that... have you ever USED Oracle?
:-)
I get the impression that 25 years ago, Steve Jobs stole Dvorak's chick.
I'm not a Troll, it's reverse psychology.
NT