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Amazon's Lawyers Jerking USPTO Around?

Posted by CowboyNeal on from the unleash-the-busy-work dept.

theodp writes "Reacting to an actor's do-it-yourself legal effort that triggered a reexam of Amazon.com's 1-Click patent, attorneys for Amazon have fired back, deluging the USPTO with documents to review, including Wikipedia articles. With the latest batch, Amazon's high-priced law firm even requested that USTPO examiners review an archived page of Norm Quotes (yes, Norm from Cheers) and rule that it does not invalidate CEO Jeff Bezos' 1-Click patent."

12 of 134 comments (clear)

  1. Re:List of non-patents by Reason58 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can anyone provide a link to ideas that haven't been patented yet? I would, but the list itself is patented.
  2. Norm from Cheers? by faloi · · Score: 5, Funny

    Are they attempting a variation of the famed Chewbacca defense?

    --
    "It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education." -Albert Einstein
    1. Re:Norm from Cheers? by dsginter · · Score: 5, Funny

      Are they attempting a variation of the famed Chewbacca defense?

      It can't be any better than the famous "Buffalo Theory" (also from Cheers):

      Well you see, Norm, it's like this; a herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and the weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

      In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

      --
      More
    2. Re:Norm from Cheers? by Lehk228 · · Score: 2, Funny

      i'm not sure what part of that you are trying to claim isn't true

      --
      Snowden and Manning are heroes.
  3. Re:List of non-patents by JordanL · · Score: 3, Funny

    If anyone does they'll be contacted by my lawyers. I hold a patent on non-patents.

    --
    FanFictionRecs.net
  4. Norm! by Deagol · · Score: 2, Funny

    At least they didn't submit the survey about eating beans and George Wendt.

    --
    Method of processing duck feet
    1. Re:Norm! by ScrewMaster · · Score: 2, Funny

      I believe that was the patent on a method of generating vast quantities of methane for use as an alternate vehicle fuel.

      --
      The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
  5. Re:List of non-patents by Tumbleweed · · Score: 3, Funny

    If anyone does they'll be contacted by my lawyers. I hold a patent on non-patents.

    Well, I hold the patent on holding, so pay up. I also hold the patent on paying, and on non-paying, so pay up. Oh, and that reminds me, I patented all the directions.

  6. Re:List of non-patents by Tumbleweed · · Score: 3, Funny

    Fortunately for me, I've patented baseball bats (and all other types of bats), all types of pads, and questions. Also, I patented replying. So pay up.

  7. Re:List of non-patents by Tumbleweed · · Score: 3, Funny

    That's okay, as I trademarked lawyers. And hearing. Plus TM are my initials (seriously), so putting my initials after something means it's mine.

    So pay up. :)

  8. Re:List of non-patents by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought that to be patented it had to be non-obvious...

  9. Re:Goldilocks Was Not a Patent Lawyer by Pollardito · · Score: 3, Funny

    If I was Jeff Bezos right now, I'd be calling my law firm and politely requesting that whoever decided to just dump their bookmarks file into the patent application be thrown out a 10th floor window.

    you clearly know nothing about the way that Jeff Bezos thinks. right now he is patenting a one-click operation that kicks off a process whereby your lawyer is thrown from the 10th floor window automatically, thereby lowering the chance that the clicker will have second thoughts