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U.S. Soldiers Hate New High-Tech Gear
mattnyc99 writes "Land Warrior, the Army's wireless equipment package featuring helmet cams, GPS, laser range-finders and a host of other state-of-the-art electronics, is finally ready for deployment on a global battlefield network in Iraq after 15 years of R&D at the Pentagon. But in a report for Popular Mechanics, Noah Shachtman not only tries on the new digital armor—he talks to troops who don't like it at all. As if that wasn't disheartening enough for the future of tech at war, the real Land Warrior system doesn't even match up to its copycat gear in Ghost Recon 2."
Actually.... yes, it does run Linux.
And what's worse is the Land Warrior system uses the system BF 2142 added to deliver in-battle ads even during firefights! No wonder the grunts hate it.
Doesn't it kind of scare you how much people on Slashdot know about assault weapons?
I want that eye monitor thingie so I can pretend to be borg. Please?
20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
...
35. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
...
37. Interchangeable parts aren't.
...
43. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
My own: Any unneeded component of a weapon will be quickly removed and thrown in the nearest ditch.
45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
While we're at it, let's get all the other obligitory comments out of the way:
I for one welcome our new fighting cyborg overloards
-and-
Imagine a Beowulf cluster of these...
It would be like an army!
So what happens when the insurgents are in a building with a high power antenna and net stumbler and pick up 16 access point SSIDs named "Linksys Soldier"?
Yea, but it's all thru counter strike, if they actually saw a real one, they would cry.
What if Tetris was invented by Nazis?
Boy, I bet they never thought of that!
What they need to do is develop phasers and matching skintight pajamas, so they can go directly to Next Generation tactics.
sic transit gloria mundi
1. Shoot US soldier
2. Don his high-tech gear
3. Turn on map locator showing his whole squad
4. Profit!
"No one likes working in a hamster wheel, and your shop smells of cedar shavings from here." - TaleSpinner
Luke, you've turned off your targeting computer! Is everything okay?
If you never make mistakes, it's probably because you're not doing anything.
You forgot one...
In Soviet Russia, high tech gear hates YOU!!!
Damn stright they run Linux. I can see it now:
...
Load weapon. Do you want to permit or deny this application? Yes, YES!
I'm sorry, I can't permit you to load your weapon if you don't answer properly
*SMASH*
works fine now.
-- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
"Bitching about newly issued equipment is army tradition."
As is issuing bitchworthy new equipment!
"This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
I've often thought that Gangsta Rap singers have done the inner cities load of good by teaching urban punks that holding the gun sideways is "cool". That has to have gone a long way in reducing shooting fatalities in the hood by making it impossible to aim the gun properly. Plus, it should increase the number of incapacitating but non-fatal arm/shoulder wounds and save lives.
I read the internet for the articles.
So, what happens when the smart other side captures one of our soldiers?
1. Someone in a bunker monitoring the soldiers head cam pushes a button.
2. Solider explodes.
3. Word 2007 automatically prints a mail merge form to soldier's family expressing condolences.
"I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
-Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
I once had this discussion with a serving soldier. He told me, "look - every 60g extra you make this thing is another Mars bar I can't carry". He wasn't joking.
While I technically don't need 600 cyclic rounds per minute to kill a human either, the extra firepower would come in handy when I need to stop a rampaging herd of deer.
Slashdot: Failed Car Analogies. Amateur Lawyering. Anecdote Battles.
They could call it iKill. It would be functionable and lickable too!
One soldier picked up the helmet cam and said "What? No wireless?" Another said "this thing has less space than a nomad!"
Theo de Raadt:
"But software which OpenBSD uses and redistributes must be free to all (be they people or companies), for any purpose they wish to use it, including modification, use, peeing on, or even integration into baby mulching machines or atomic bombs to be dropped on Australia."
* cvs@openbsd.org mailing list, May 29, 2001
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Theo_de_Raadt
"This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
Soylent Green anybody? :-P
-- I ignore anonymous replies to my comments and postings.
I've never trusted those deer. They're always twitching their heads around and looking over their shoulders all paranoid like. If they weren't up to something, why are they so nervous? Just never sat right with me.
I always knew Theo had it in for us!
- Concerned Australian
I hate printers.
Top Five Best Things About Buying Military Supplies at Fry's:
5. It's fun to ask new hires who don't speak English, so you have to explain with sign language that you want some grenades.
4. The MREs are in the grocery section next to the chocolate candy.
3. Asking the TV department clerk "Is this thing bulletproof?"
2. The clerks will always try to sell you an extended warranty on your amphibious assault vehicle
1. Fry's will always refund your returned goods with no argument even if there are body parts inside the box, and they NEVER check before they reshelf the item. And that is how I came about to own this Nvidia card, and a human liver...
Great post, very insightful. Thanks for taking the time!
ISO certified == THX certified
While I'm all for meat hunting, do remember that even if the hunter wastes most of the kill by leaving it lie in the field, there are a whole bunch of critters who'll come along afterward and think, "Cool, free lunch!"
Speaking of disconnected, I've met two people here in SoCal who did not grok that beef comes from cows!!
~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
Hey, mission goals are way out, man. Nowadays you send a meeting request, touch base at the checkpoint and discuss the milestones and deliverables for the mission, then you get everyone on the same page regarding the proactive go-forward approach to leveraging the squad's synergies in order to own the challenge in a results-driven and success-oriented way. And when taking action, don't forget to keep each other up-to-date with the occasional memo.
Really, the only thing this lacks is Web 2.0 features like gradients, rounded corners, flashy JavaScript effects and a blog.
USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
What an excellent way to boost moral