Soldiers Bond With Bots, Take Them Fishing

HarryCaul writes "Soldiers are finding themselves becoming more and more attached to their robotic helpers. During one test of a mine clearing robot, 'every time it found a mine, blew it up and lost a limb, it picked itself up and readjusted to move forward on its remaining legs, continuing to clear a path through the minefield.' The man in charge halted the test, though - 'He just could not stand the pathos of watching the burned, scarred and crippled machine drag itself forward on its last leg. This test, he charged, was inhumane.' Sometimes the soldiers even take their metallic companions fishing. Is there more sympathy for Robot Rights than previously suspected?"

Comments

Re:"This test, he charged, was inhumane"

[value_added]

My advice would be to stop anthropomorphising robots. They don't like it.

Be careful

[Calibax]

Don't anthropomorphize robots - they don't like it.

Re:robot's rights?

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow, if these guys has spent a little more time pulling the wings off of flies when they were kids

If you take the wings off of a fly, does it become a walk?

Airplanes, Boats, Cars

[hansoloaf]

I doubt this is any different than people develop attachment to boats, airplanes, cars, etc. I'll consider it a serious problem if they start dressing up the bots with wigs, lipstick, dresses, and taking them out dancing.

Switch to lawyers.

[russotto]

Looks like they have to start using mine-clearing lawyers instead. No one gets attached to them.

Or perhaps we could simply paint a fancy suit on and add a briefcase to the robot, for similar effect.

Here I am, brain the size of a planet

[Tackhead]

"Come on," he droned, "I've been ordered to defuse this bomb. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you defuse this bomb. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cos I don't."

Although, under the circumstances, I think the scene involving God's Final Message to All Creation would be more appropriate.

...After a final pause, Marvin gathered his strength for the last stretch.

He read the "e", the "n", the "c" and at last the final "e", and staggered back into their arms. "I think," he murmured at last, from deep within his corroding rattling thorax, "I feel good about it."

The lights went out in his eyes for absolutely the very last time ever.

Luckily, there was a stall nearby where you could rent scooters from guys with green wings.

- Douglas Adams, So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish, Chapter 40

Stand up and suport your porcelain friends!

[RingDev]

Friends of toilets everywhere are protesting to day in a unified show of compassion asking for the freeing of million of household toilets today. "We've crapped on our receptive friends long enough! Lets spare them any more of this inhuman suffering!" said one protester. Another activist recounted a story in which her former boyfriend urinated not only in the toilet, but on the rim as well.

-Rick

Re:Stand up and suport your porcelain friends!

[Chris Burke]

I see no reason why we couldn't program the toilets to like being shit in. As long as we don't give them voices... that would be creepy. "Oh yeah, that was a huge one! What'd you have to eat last night? Wait, don't tell me... Corned beef, cheese fries and... yep... corn! That was fun. Come back soon!"

Oblig

[Anonymous Coward]

The US Army soldiers, for all, welcome their new robotic overlords.

Re:"This test, he charged, was inhumane"

[fataugie]

Not so sure if this is a good idea....the last thing I want is an overdeveloped toaster oven pissing and moaning about doing work.

Really, would you want C3PO as a work companion?

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch

Re:What about appliances?

[McFortner]

but..but.but... I LOVE lamp!

You better keep it Platonic or you will be in for a big shock....

This is my robot.

[LaminatorX]

There are others like it, but this one is mine.

Re:"This test, he charged, was inhumane"

[HTH NE1]

Though if they did disarm the minefield by driving a flock of sheep across it as we had done in the past, at least the soldiers would have mutton for chow afterwards.

Re:Happens with all complex machines.

[the_humeister]

When those tasks broaden and become more general and adaptive, there's a risk a certain threshold will be passed where we truly no longer fully comprehend these machines capabilities and will find ourselves one day no longer in control of our creations.

That's what my parents said about me when I was a teenager...

Anthro..

[ackthpt]

My advice would be to stop anthropomorphising robots. They don't like it.

You mean your robotic mine-detecting pal who's fun to be with?

Re:Just administer the Voight-Kampff test

[someme2]

I think they should use steamrollers, or the equivalent thereof, to clear mine fields. Those solid steel drums can be built thick enough to withstand any ordinary land mine.

Yes, but they suck at fishing.

Re:"This test, he charged, was inhumane"

[mstahl]

from time to time I do talk to them, cajole them into functioning properly <scotty>Hellooo, computer!</scotty>

Re:Treat them like you hope they treat us.

[AslanTheMentat]

Karma whoring, but couldn't resist linking to my fav web-comic which seems very appropriate here...

CD Tray Fight!

Re:"This test, he charged, was inhumane"

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey... At least my birds actually talk. What can your cat do? :P

Eat your bird.

Re:"This test, he charged, was inhumane"

[Anonymous Coward]

That's called Morphine

Re:"This test, he charged, was inhumane"

[eam]

At first pass, I read your last line as:

    "Every world leader needs a mind-clearing robot."

C3PO as a work companion

[Dareth]

If I was in the military and needed to clear a mine field, then yes, C3PO sounds perfect.