IBM Says 'Couldn't Fire 150K US Workers If We Wanted To'

theodp writes "In an e-mail worthy of the Dilbert Hall of Fame, IBM execs responded to Robert X. Cringely's Project LEAN layoff rumors, reassuring employees by pointing out that they've already wiped out too many U.S. jobs to be able to lay off another 150,000. Big Blue's employment peaked around 1985, when it had about 405,000 workers who were acclimated to a long tradition of lifetime employment. IBM puts its current global workforce at 355,766, with a 'regular U.S. population' of less than 130,000."

Comments

We're Hiring!

[Anonymous Coward]

Silly Cringley! We're Hiring negative 20 thousand employees!

Re:IBM Town

[Tablizer]

I've always wondered why they don't just move all of the IBM employees and their families into one big town.

It's called "Bangalore".

Re:Sadly, he did write that

[jasontheking]

- "And please, will the characters who "have never had a crash or blip" in 10 years of "heavy use" not contribute. I'm sick of these people. They're full of it." Which, again, would indicate that not only he's not joking, but he thinks that anyone who hasn't had those newbie problems is, in his own words, "full of it."

Dvorak certainly deserves to be ignored. But the above quote that he made certainly had an effect. I can remember the above statements (using phrases like "heavy use") being made by a huge assortment of ACs every time someone posted about a windows bug anywhere (even slashdot), and it went on for years. After dvorak said that... it seems to have stopped. I haven't seen another person claim that ever since.

Maths 101 Exam question

[jamesh]

If there are 120000 people in a room and then 150000 leave, how many people have to enter the room again for it to be empty?

Re:The dollar is dropping.

[heinousjay]

No, it's all the fault of the corporations. The shadow groups controlling our schools and drug supplies conspire to keep people too stupid to handle more than pushing picture buttons on a McDonald's register so they can have a large group of dissatisfied people who can't afford to spend any money and therefore cannot support the corporations. It's brilliant.