Slashdot Mirror
Judge Doesn't Know What a Web Site is
An anonymous reader writes "A British judge admitted on Wednesday he was struggling to cope with basic terms like "Web site" in the trial of three men accused of inciting terrorism via the Internet.
Judge Peter Openshaw broke into the questioning of a witness about a Web forum used by alleged Islamist radicals.
"The trouble is I don't understand the language. I don't really understand what a Web site is". he told a London court during the trial of three men charged under anti-terrorism laws.
Prosecutor Mark Ellison briefly set aside his questioning to explain the terms "Web site" and "forum." An exchange followed in which the 59-year-old judge acknowledged: "I haven't quite grasped the concepts.""
Have Ted Stevens explain it to him
"I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey
Thank god I'm not the only one...
"Heh. Totally pwned that prosecutor. ZOMG! Ponies!"
website: noun: a doorway to a series of tubes
Sigs are too short to say anything truly profound so read the above post instead.
the end she was asking really clever questions I couldn't answer.
Dude. You got pwned by a girl.
liqbase
Secretary: "Sir, you got slashdotted." Judge, with curiosity: "Slashdotted?" Secretary: "Yes sir, it's a news website" Judge: "A website? um...?"
BA
When I was in college, I took an environmental law class. The guy teaching it used to work county public health or whatnot and had a few good stories.
One of the stories was to show how judges are sometimes in the position to interpret laws and regulations that are outside their scope of knowledge. One story goes that a case was about dumping of hazardous waste. The waste wasn't specifically listed as hazardous, but there are other procedures to test the compound's toxicity - such as exposing a certain species of fish to the compound for X days and seeing how they are doing at the end. If the fish are dead, then it's pretty obvious that the compound is toxic.
In this case, the fish toxicity testing data was presented to the judge and it went something as follows:
Judge: And do we have any of these fish in our county?
Answer: No, we don't have any of these fish in our county.
Judge: Then what do we have to worry about?
Grump
Is it true that more people vote for the winner of American Idol, than vote for the president? -Ali G.
Yeah, but laws usually run deeper recursions. If x then y, unless z, except when a, provided that b, unless c and d, but only when based on e and not f, with...
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Another good one:
Barrister [to witness]: "In fact, wouldn't it be fair to say that you were drunk as a judge."
Judge: "Would you care to rephrase that?"
Barrister: "I do apologise; I mean't drunk as a lord, my lord."
I hear there's more than one nowadays.
Wow.. I can"t believe I could read that within a few seconds of seeing it for the first time. It says: I Am Not A Lawyer But I Have Studied Law And Work In The Field.
A sign I have been readin Slashdot too much
No, that's not it...
Karma police, arrest this man. He talks in math. He buzzes like a fridge. He's like a detuned radio.
You consider it high praise to be told you think like a lawyer in training? I'm scared of you now.
Slashdot - where whining about luck is the new way to make the world you want.
from 'Not the Nine O'Clock News'
Lawyer: I intend to prove that my client is completely innocent of the charges of theft of which he is accused.
In evidence, I shall produce receipts given to me by my client as proof of purchase for the three articles allegedly stolen.
This one for the digital watch...
Judge: A digital watch? What on earth is a digital watch?
Lawyer: Sorry, m'lud. A digital watch is a watch worked by microelectronics.
I will also be producing a receipt for the automatic video recorder...
Judge: Automatic video recorder?
Lawyer: It's a machine that records television programmes on special tapes.
Judge: How fascinating. What will they think of next? Proceed.
Lawyer: Thank you m'lud. Finally, I will produce in this court a receipt for my client's "deluxe model inflatable woman" -whatever that is.
Judge: The deluxe is the one with the real hair and the lifelike sister!
Environmentalism is the new Victorianism. Everyone ties on a green corset and pretends we're virtuous.
Oh yeah? Prove it.