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Economic Analysis of Toilet Seat Position
Ant writes "The Science Creative Quarterly has published an economic analysis of The Social Norm of Leaving the Toilet Down, employing game theory. This analysis is more thorough than preceding ones cited (from 2002 and 2005), as it factors in the cost of yelling. Both men and women can take some comfort in the conclusion though neither may in the end be satisfied.
I don't use the toilet. God made bushes and trees for a reason, you know.
(I'm lots of fun at the office, too... those silk plants sure look real)
If you constantly have fights over the position of the seat, just get a traditional asian toilet, ie a hole in the ground you have to squat over.
Monstar L
This is becoming such a problem at my workspace that I now go use the toilet where mostly women use it, instead of the one close to me where mostly men use it.
I can't beleive that guys will purposefully pee standing up, spray the bowl, the seat, the floor, the walls, there might even be some on the ceiling, and then just walk away as it it was perfectly normal. WHAT THE FUCK? That's piss you got there on your shoes, not stream water!
I'm ashamed of being a man when I see the state guys leave toilets. Once I was in a public toilet at a theater and the only explanation I could come up with to explain the level of piss spray everywhere was that there must be a war waging inside the bowl between two countries, and one of them just discovered the atomic bomb.
Amen to that...
WE took the time to lift it UP. THEY can take the time to put it DOWN.
(Yes Im married and whipped so this will only ever be posted on slashdot. Im never actually going to say it out loud.)
Here's how you solve the toilet seat dilemma:
Remove the toilet seat.
No toilet seat, no arguments, no problem.
> Where does closing the lid come in to play here?
There is an innate need within women to group a collection of shortcomings for later use. It's similar to stacking cannonballs in a nice neet pile for use should a skirmish arise. The toilet seat issue (as well as the toilet paper over/under issue) is simply an assured way of having enough cannon balls for the pile. Ergo:
- If the seat is up when you piss, you must remember to put it down.
- If the seat is down when you piss, you must remember to put it up.
Furthermore, if toilet paper is to be replaced on the roll holder, you must examine the toilet paper to see which way the pretty design is printed. This design must be visible and dictates which way the roll should hang. (Note: the same rule is applied to paper towel). I do not understand the reason for artwork on something I wipe my ass with, but surmise it is solely there for the reason of stockpiling cannonballs.
I find it less trouble to simply piss in the sink.
boycott slashdot February 10th - 17th check out: altSlashdot.org
I could see a few company logos that would certainly endear toilet paper makers to certain groups. I could well see SCO logos on TP used at Novell...
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
I think you need to talk to your boss about getting a cubicle in a better location.
Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
What truth?
There is no dupe
if (lid->position==DOWN)
;)
{
if (gender==MALE)
goto_sink();
else
sit();
}
pee();
Just hope I got that right. Last thing you need is a nasty buffer overflow
I've run into women who are adamant about having the toilet seat down, and I just can't wrap my head around it.
It's simple. those women tend to be control freaks of some type. Best solution is to run away. A more fun solution is to put the seat down AND the lid every single time.
It screws with their head hard, as they are pleased you obeyed and put the seat down, but it pisses them off that you put down the lid.
If you get confronted about it simply say, "you like the lid up? how disgusting."
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
If you're really that sensitive, consider that whenever someone near you farts, you're inhaling gas that was given off by decomposing excrement, from up their back passage. Nice, I don't think. :-6
Of course after getting out of a shitty relationship and back into my own place I thought I was free to leave the toilet seat in any old position I like. It was pure joy while it lasted. Then a month later I was back to leaving it down.
I work in aircraft maintenance and it turns out we fall under a peculiar law of physics.
Any object dropped can and will fall into the most unlikely and most inconvenient place.
So in other words practically anything I dropped regardless of how many bizarre bounces or ricochets it would take, would land in the toilet from anywhere in the bathroom. Once exposed to this, it takes a long time for it to get it out of your life, much like a neurotic woman. I had never noticed it before because of the much stronger force, known as female OCD, altered the natural laws of space and time in my household. Once I resigned myself to leaving the toilet set back down, things stopped landing in the toilet, though they tried their damndest to do, and instead started landing in the trash can. Now I have to get into the habit of taking out the trash and putting a bag in the can.
A guy can't fucking win.
Consider this: if either mate pulls a hissy fit over the orientation of a hinged piece of plastic, I say shoot them both! One for being a petty jerk/bitch, the other for having such poor taste as to risk spreading weak genes through reproduction.
Eugenics starts in the bathroom!
-Billco, Fnarg.com
Because there's no way she'll clean both? :)
Why the hell has it been decreed that because men CAN pee standing up, they must?
Let me explain to you why it is men can pee standing up.
On the Eighth Day, God came to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and said "I've finished creating the world, and I've got a couple of things left over which I want you to have between you. Let's see... first thing I can offer you is the ability to pee standing up".
"Oh, yes, can I have that please, God?" said Adam, "That would be so cool - I could be out hunting, fishing or whatever and just pee wherever I am."
Eve smiled sweetly and said if peeing standing up is so important to Adam, let him have it.
God said "Okay. Adam, you shall be able to pee standing up. Now, what else was it I had in the bag.... oh yes. Multiple orgasms".
I've never understood how the hell the "fly" on underwear is supposed to work anyway. Looking at how it's contructed, I would first have to shift my penis way over to the left to go in the inside hole. Then I need to make a 90 degree turn (ouch!) to the right. Then snake my, er, snake through the tunnel between the two flaps. Depending on how cold it is, I'm not sure I'd always have enough length to make it to the end of this tunnel. Then I'd have to make another 90 degree turn (!) to the left to exit out the outer hole. And then try to pee through a penis that has two 90 degree bends in it.
Yeah, that's way easier than pulling down the elastic band a bit.
Someone earlier pointed out urine spray on the walls. I can say that I have actually encountered these strategically "decorated" toilets in which the seat will only stay up for a short time. Here I am in mid-piss when all of the sudden the damn seat starts to fall. Once in mid-piss it's hard to turn off the water works so quickly so in a fraction of a second you have to decide to piss on the seat or redirect to the walls. I remember as a little kid being short enough that I had to redirect or have "stuff" hit by a falling seat, thus spraying the walls.
This has caused more arguments for me than just the whole seat up or down argument as it is practically an evil trap perpetrated on men by women that want the seat left down.
"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." - Shepard Book Quoting Malcolm Reynolds
That sounds like a problem unrelated to your pants.
Do not anger the worm.
encourage the dog to lick guest's exposed skin. Then ask them if they left the toilet lid up or down.
Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?
Personally I think we (men) have the better deal. We can pee standing up, and if we are quick enough on the draw we can guarantee that we have more orgasms over our lifetime that our women :-)
Oh, so is that why women always go on pairs to the bathroom? To give directions each other?
"Down, down, down, stop! A bit to the left.. no, no, to the right... go, go, go, stop! Okay, start! Wait... shit! Go backwards, go backwards! OMG, what a mess you're doing!".
At least now I understand why so much mystery... And what about geek chicks? Do they use light sticks like the ones they use in airports to taxi airplanes?
Women can crap in wall mounted urinals, but not piss in them, if I understand their mechanics correctly.
News for merdes. Shit that matters.
Ask me about my sig.
>> (i'm 1.85 cm tall (and i like to drink beer), so it's a ~"far drop")
If you're only 1.85 cm tall, how do you get up to the top of the toilet bowl in the first place!?
To
I have a hard time figuring out what exactly you're trying to say in your post. You're against pissing, is that it?
Or you're against asses? Or you're for asses? Or you want to trade your toilet for an ass? I'm confused! Maybe you're just against people who try to keep their fucking asses clean! That must be it. I don't like sitting in piss, regardless of how far from an animal I see myself as.
In any case, you assume several times in your post that i'm an american, which i'm not, so I will directly forward your flaming text to the trash (or recycle bin, if your text is recyclable.)
And by the way, the noise is a perfectly good issue. My office is close to a toilet. Hearing your splinkler while i'm on the phone with a client is mostly unwelcomed, but maybe in whatever country you're from (since you bash USA, you're probably not from there) maybe that sound is joyful and a great conversation piece.
In my house I put down the seat and the lid. The inconvenience is universal in this position. She must always lift the lid but she cant yell at me since the seat is down.
...and putting the lid down immediately reduces the spread of the smell.
However, its doubly inefficient according to the math.
assert(lid->position==DOWN);
sit();
pee();
It works fine when they're alone, which is why they have no need to develop a nice mechanism for error handling. Time passes by...
.
.
.
Being the man in the house, you better make sure the condition is always satisfied, because you don't want to know how a woman throws an error or worse... how a female blue screen looks like!
The saddest poem
No, he's just being an asshole.
- RG>
Hey pal, this isn't a pleasantforest, so don't waste my time with pleasantries!
Whenever I want to stoke my fragile male ego, I bend my wife over and fuck her up the ass.
What gratification is there in toilet lids?
"Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them." -- David Brent