Slashdot Mirror
Economic Analysis of Toilet Seat Position
Ant writes "The Science Creative Quarterly has published an economic analysis of The Social Norm of Leaving the Toilet Down, employing game theory. This analysis is more thorough than preceding ones cited (from 2002 and 2005), as it factors in the cost of yelling. Both men and women can take some comfort in the conclusion though neither may in the end be satisfied.
This is becoming such a problem at my workspace that I now go use the toilet where mostly women use it, instead of the one close to me where mostly men use it.
I can't beleive that guys will purposefully pee standing up, spray the bowl, the seat, the floor, the walls, there might even be some on the ceiling, and then just walk away as it it was perfectly normal. WHAT THE FUCK? That's piss you got there on your shoes, not stream water!
I'm ashamed of being a man when I see the state guys leave toilets. Once I was in a public toilet at a theater and the only explanation I could come up with to explain the level of piss spray everywhere was that there must be a war waging inside the bowl between two countries, and one of them just discovered the atomic bomb.
I don't mean whether you leave it up or down, I mean the argument. I've run into women who are adamant about having the toilet seat down, and I just can't wrap my head around it. Obviously, if it's her apartment or otherwise constitutes her space (as opposed to a shared space between the two of you) then she gets to make policy on all things, no matter how inane -- when you're in someone else's home, regardless of how intimately connected to them you may be, it's just rude to do things in contravention of their preferences.
However, if you are living together and sharing a space, then insisting that the toilet seat be down (or up, for that matter, although I've never encountered that) is simply a selfish insistence that your needs are more important than your partner's. Consider: when a man wants to pee, if the toilet seat is down, he must first put it up, or the seat will end up with drops of urine on it, which no one (including the man) wants. When a woman wants to pee, if the toilet seat is up, she must put it down, because she cannot sit on the rim.
Because each wants something different, the fair way to handle it is to simply put it down (or up) as required. Men put it down, women put it up. The distribution of labor is fair, everyone has to put it up or down sometimes and not at other times.
The insistence that it always be down, however, essentially amounts to the woman shirking her share of the toilet-seat-state-changing responsibility. She is saying that she doesn't feel that she should ever need to put the toilet seat down or up, and that you, the man, are responsible for putting it both up and down.
Men are frequently inconvenienced by a woman leaving the toilet seat down -- if you show up in the middle of the night, and it's dark, and you really have to go, it's a bit of a pain to always have to feel to see if the seat is up or down before you let it all out. Isn't this exactly the argument most often used by women? Why is it a valid argument coming from them, and not from us? The simple answer is that she wants it her way, and is unable to compromise, and for some reason feels as though society has vindicated her opinion on the matter.
To me, a woman who insists on having the toilet seat down, who cannot take the trouble to put it down if it is up, exactly as I must take the trouble to put it up if it is down, is clearly an example of a selfish, controlling personality who will cause you problems in the long run. And actually, there's a broader theme here: if you're the sort of person, regardless of your gender, who expects other people to conform completely to your habits and norms without considering that in a relationship, everyone needs to change their habits somewhat in order to make things work, then you're probably a shitty significant other. The kind I tend to dump after three weeks, if even.
The fact that some women are even under the impression that insisting that the toilet seat always be down to convenience them is in any way right-thinking at all completely boggles my mind. I don't watch football, but to leverage another cliché as an analogy: it would be like insisting that any time she watches TV that she put it back on ESPN when she's done.
This has turned into a rant, but here's a piece of advice for men who respect themselves: if she starts throwing a shit fit about the toilet seat, dump her. I'm serious. It's the tip of the iceberg, and you'll end up unhappy in the long run.
> Where does closing the lid come in to play here?
There is an innate need within women to group a collection of shortcomings for later use. It's similar to stacking cannonballs in a nice neet pile for use should a skirmish arise. The toilet seat issue (as well as the toilet paper over/under issue) is simply an assured way of having enough cannon balls for the pile. Ergo:
- If the seat is up when you piss, you must remember to put it down.
- If the seat is down when you piss, you must remember to put it up.
Furthermore, if toilet paper is to be replaced on the roll holder, you must examine the toilet paper to see which way the pretty design is printed. This design must be visible and dictates which way the roll should hang. (Note: the same rule is applied to paper towel). I do not understand the reason for artwork on something I wipe my ass with, but surmise it is solely there for the reason of stockpiling cannonballs.
I find it less trouble to simply piss in the sink.
boycott slashdot February 10th - 17th check out: altSlashdot.org
You must be a GNOME developer.
I am a man- I sit down ALL THE TIME with private toilets- you have to more than 50% of the time, ANYWAY. Much less messy, much less noise, slightly faster, no conflicts. I don't give a rat's a** what anyone thinks (not like anyone would know, anyway, unless I post it in a stupid message on Slashdot for a million people to read).
Now, public restrooms? I will use the urinal when possible, which is what it is there for. My conclusion? Unless the private bathroom also has a urnal, just sit, for crying out loud!
If you want another interesting thing to statistically fight over: Do you leave the LID closed or open? At my house, it is always to be closed. Why? Because it grosses me out when the cats drink out of the toilets!!!
(This has got to be the silliest thread I have ever seen on Slashdot!)
This is a moot point in my household; both the seat and lid stay closed. Even when my girlfriend is out of town. That's because if you don't shut the toilet before you flush, a massive cloud of tiny invisible particles of fecal matter and other nastoids comes shooting out of the toilet in all directions, coating you, the bathroom, and anything else in its path (like say, your toothbrush, if you don't leave it in the medicine cabinet or somewhere sheltered).
This was documented in a mildly famous study by Charles Gerba. It has been amusingly dubbed the F3: the Fecal Fountain Factor.
Now, tiny droplets of shit and piss water won't kill you--if you are healthy, you could likely french kiss your toilet seat and not get sick, but that doesn't mean you wanna. I find the mere knowlege that, if I don't shut the toilet first, I will be bathed an a microscopic shit shower to be sufficiently unappealing that I always do so. And, this way is equitable to all parties involved--no matter if you are a stander, or a sitter, you still have to lift the lid to use the toilet.
Luckily, the ages-old controversy is being brought back by the Japanese. New toilets there have infrared sensors that detect your approach and lift the lid and/or seat for you. Sounds ridiculous, but once you get used to it (that is, use it once), you come around to liking it. And happily, this technology reignites the debate with your female counterpart: you can argue about whether Mr. Smarty Toilet should be programmed to lift the lid, or both lid and seat. That is, until they come up with the next generation of toilets than can differentiate between individual people...
09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
I always close the lid simply because everyone suffers that way. It's the only fair option.
+0 Meh
Why the hell has it been decreed that because men CAN pee standing up, they must?
Let me explain to you why it is men can pee standing up.
On the Eighth Day, God came to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and said "I've finished creating the world, and I've got a couple of things left over which I want you to have between you. Let's see... first thing I can offer you is the ability to pee standing up".
"Oh, yes, can I have that please, God?" said Adam, "That would be so cool - I could be out hunting, fishing or whatever and just pee wherever I am."
Eve smiled sweetly and said if peeing standing up is so important to Adam, let him have it.
God said "Okay. Adam, you shall be able to pee standing up. Now, what else was it I had in the bag.... oh yes. Multiple orgasms".
I've never understood how the hell the "fly" on underwear is supposed to work anyway. Looking at how it's contructed, I would first have to shift my penis way over to the left to go in the inside hole. Then I need to make a 90 degree turn (ouch!) to the right. Then snake my, er, snake through the tunnel between the two flaps. Depending on how cold it is, I'm not sure I'd always have enough length to make it to the end of this tunnel. Then I'd have to make another 90 degree turn (!) to the left to exit out the outer hole. And then try to pee through a penis that has two 90 degree bends in it.
Yeah, that's way easier than pulling down the elastic band a bit.
encourage the dog to lick guest's exposed skin. Then ask them if they left the toilet lid up or down.
Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?
Oh, so is that why women always go on pairs to the bathroom? To give directions each other?
"Down, down, down, stop! A bit to the left.. no, no, to the right... go, go, go, stop! Okay, start! Wait... shit! Go backwards, go backwards! OMG, what a mess you're doing!".
At least now I understand why so much mystery... And what about geek chicks? Do they use light sticks like the ones they use in airports to taxi airplanes?