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Safemedia's CEO Tells Congress He Can Stop P2P

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the also-he-invented-the-question-mark dept.

palewook writes "Yesterday, Safwat Fahmy appeared in front of the House Science and Technology Committee. During Fahmy's testimony [PDF], he claimed Safemedia's "P2P Disaggregator" technology uses traffic-shaping systems and network-filtering systems that can destroy contaminated P2P networks. And their Clouseau product will make it impossible to send or receive any illegal P2P transmission on any installed network. However, Clouseau allows tunneling and SSH and never opens packets to determine file legality."

14 of 288 comments (clear)

  1. 'Bout time! by cowscows · · Score: 5, Funny

    Awesome! When he's finished with that, he can stop the AIDS epidemic in Africa, and stabilize Iraq. Then maybe next summer he can finally get that space elevator built using all the energy from the fusion power plant his company has just finished perfecting.

    --

    One time I threw a brick at a duck.

    1. Re:'Bout time! by QuantumRiff · · Score: 4, Funny

      Cmon, This is just a software company.. they can't do all that.. but I heard they will ship Duke Nukem Forever by Christmas...

      --

      What are we going to do tonight Brain?
    2. Re:'Bout time! by cayenne8 · · Score: 5, Funny
      "I think while we're at it we should outlaw sporks since I might gouge my eyes out in a senseless act of violence. In fact, maybe we should just outlaw all computers, that'd stop copyright infringement right?"

      Not to worry. I'm immediately at work now, to invent a Cato program, that will periodically, and without warning...repeatedly attack his program.

      --
      Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
  2. Huh by Greyfox · · Score: 5, Funny

    Isn't lying to Congress illegal?

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

    1. Re:Huh by Adult+film+producer · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Isn't lying to Congress illegal?"

      I'm sorry but I dont recall.

    2. Re:Huh by stuntpope · · Score: 4, Funny

      Unless the President has full faith and confidence in you.

    3. Re:Huh by rubycodez · · Score: 4, Funny

      getting caught lying to Congress without paying requisite bribes and campaign contributions is illegal

    4. Re:Huh by miskatonic+alumnus · · Score: 5, Funny

      That depends on what the definition of "is" is.

    5. Re:Huh by Baddas · · Score: 4, Funny

      Pardon?

  3. Re:Hmmm. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Look at AACS? Weren't they going to end movie piracy? How's that workin' for them?

    AACS is an impenetrable fortress, standing against the efforts of our piratical enemies! Do not listen to reports that our encryption has been breached. Like golden armor, our DRM will never be broached, never tarnish, and never fail. These movie pirates will surrender or die. They will surrender, it is they who will surrender!

    - Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf,
    AACS Information Minister
  4. Re:Clouseau? What an odd choice for names. by sopuli · · Score: 5, Funny

    I heard that during his testimony Fahmy's left eye kept blinking uncontrollably and that at one point, while raving about Clouseau, he absentmindedly amputated his pinky while toying with his Leatherman.

  5. Re:Clouseau? What an odd choice for names. by Groovus · · Score: 5, Funny

    No kidding. I also find the irony of naming a tool for stopping copyright infringement after a fictional character from a movie/cartoon series which I'm surprised isn't trademarked in some way somewhat delicious.

    I guess it's a better name than Dreyfus though?

  6. Typo by Bob9113 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Typo in parent:

    Isn't lying to Congress illegal?

    It's a French word, easy to misspell. The correct spelling is, "de rigueur."

    --
    Stop-Prism.org: Opt Out of Surveillance
  7. Re:Selling Congress snakeoil by toleraen · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wow, you're mother sounds kinda geeky. Does that mean she lives in her own basement?