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Crackers Cause Pentagon to Put Computers Offline
Anarchysoft writes "As many as 1500 Pentagon computers were brought offline on Wednesday in response to a cyber attack. Defense Secretary Robert Gates reported of the fallout both that the attack had 'no adverse impact on department operations' and that 'there will be some administrative disruptions and personal inconveniences.' When asked whether his own e-mail had been compromised, Gates responded, 'I don't do e-mail. I'm a very low-tech person.'"
I recommend a less-crumbly type of snack, like carrot sticks or celery. Dip is right out.
...that the hairdresser's hair is the one with the ugliest haircut.
this is probably the most boring sig in the world
That hacker will never figure out what to do with the launch codes to the continental ICBM inventory. On the other hand, can you imagine a nuclear attack being started from an iPhone?
"To those who are overly cautious, everything is impossible. "
You're right, nothing could ever go wrong having someone physically carrying a message.
Another slashdot meme in the making?
"I don't do $technology, I'm a very low-tech person."
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say
Scene: Secretary Gates's office - dawn
A PERSISTENT BEEPING breaks the stillness.
SECRETARY GATES stumbles in from an adjoining room, bleary-eyed. Another all-nighter of trying to keep the world safe for democracy.
SECRETARY GATES: What the blazes is it now?
He picks up his Big Red Phone.
SECRETARY GATES: Gates here. What is it?
TECH #1: Sir! This is Collins at Central. We've got a situation -- massive DOS, widely distributed. One of the worst yet.
SECRETARY GATES: Damn! Tell me it's not--
TECH #1: Bad news, sir. It's your brother.
BILL GATES: Mwa ha ha ha!
SECRETARY GATES: Curse you, Bill! What infernal scheme have you cooked up now?
BILL GATES: By making Windows insecure and ensuring its worldwide adoption, I now have an army of millions of zombie computers at my disposal! I will instruct them to PERMANENTLY destroy your computer network unless you pay me... <pinky>one hundred BEEEELLYON dollars!</pinky>
SECRETARY GATES: But... you already have billions of dollars!
BILL GATES: Yes, but Mother always liked you better, so now I'm overcompensating. Top of the world, ma!
JAMES CAGNEY'S GHOST: Cut that out!
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
Claiming a fifth post would have been on topic.
The dude who pulled this off was black! But The Man will never give credit for something this big to a brother.
How ya like dat?
I agree. Hackers today are not ParMasters of yesteryears.
I guess they were just looking to recruit more zombies for their credit card scams and by mistake they stumbled upon the DoD unsecure network.
Heck, half the jokers (who call themselves hackers) can't even expand the acronym ICBM in full. And i bet $100 that one of the words in their expansion would be either International or Business.
The DoD is fretting unnecessarily.
A whole generation has already been dumbed down by McDonalds, Pepsi and KFC, not to mention Desperate Housewives, Paris Hilton, Britney's head antics etc.
So the worst these jokers can do is to filch the CC numbers of some DoD officials and buy some "close massage services" or buy fle$hlight.
Today's jokers are more interested in earning serious money quickly and buy a Lamby or an Aston-Martin or an iPhone atleast.
Lameduck attacks against a lameduck department.
Its like one ant colony waging war against another ant colony 10 yards away while humans watch it amusingly...
"Doing what i can, with what i have." ~ Burt Gummer
The $600 hammer was explained thusly: A box of miscellaneous parts, including some very expensive high-tech items and some cheap low-tech ones (like hammers), was shipped. By the accounting rules, each item is assigned an identical part of the shipping and processing costs. So the hammer cost like $10, plus $590 in processing, while there were $5000 items in there that also had $590 in processing assigned to them. Some idiot soldier opened the box, saw the invoice, and called his congressman.
Employees whose computers were affected could still use their 'handheld BlackBerries'. OMG that means hackers compromised the Desktop Blackberries
"Drawing closer to world domination, keystroke by keystroke."
If you're a member of the military with some rank, shouting is a much more effective mode of communication. I imagine Microsoft producing specialized keyboards for the military, such as the MS Multimedia Sergeant Keyboard, which defaults to caps lock being always on.
Task Mangler
The best security is not having the damn wires there in the first place.
Ahhh yes... the air-gap firewall - works better than anything.
I'm sure Cisco has one for $40,000 they can sell the DHS (empty box with two RJ-45s). They need it.
Most of the stuff on
> General Joffre, commander of the French forces, refused to use the telephone... It is believed that he feared his words being recorded on the other end without his knowledge.
So did Don Vito di Corleone, our beloved godfather.
As a Caucasian I find the whole article racist!
Something witty goes here.
How did they know it was pasty white guys?
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. - Will Rogers
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29023
"Evil Genius Gates Drops Windows 98 Into NYC Water Supply"
Man do I love The Onion. SFW.
With the first link, the chain is forged.
My boss, at my previous place of employment, was also the owner. He had a standard saying that he used in these situations, "Shit, you did exactly what I asked. What were you thinking?"
Request a Linux Shockwave player here: http://www.macromedia.com/support/email/wishform/
I thought that was Echelon?