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CIA Declassifies the "Family Jewels"

An anonymous reader informs us that the CIA has recently declassified for your reading pleasure some records relating to illegal spying, assassination attempts, and other goodies. These are available from the CIA's FOIA portal. From the BBC article: " Last week, CIA chief Michael Hayden announced the decision to declassify the records, saying the documents were 'unflattering but part of CIA history.' The documents detail assassination plots, domestic spying, wiretapping, and kidnapping... Among the documents is a request in 1972 for someone 'who was accomplished at picking locks' who might be retiring or resigning from the agency."

17 of 356 comments (clear)

  1. It's just a plot by laejoh · · Score: 3, Funny

    to make us think they stopped doing &#!####{ççççç NO CARRIER

  2. Re:bah! by Nazlfrag · · Score: 5, Funny

    You see, the role of the CIA is to assassinate foreign heads of state. It's the NSA and FBI files you're after.

  3. Yeah, but... by akkarin · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah, but when will they declassify the files 'bout the sharks with lasers on their heads? Of course they deny it, but /. knows better, right? Right....?

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    1. Re:Yeah, but... by RuBLed · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hmmm... If you type the word "shark" in their search box then type "laser" in the Search Within Results, it would display a link to a document that had something to do with a report regarding Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction. Hmmm....

    2. Re:Yeah, but... by mcwop · · Score: 2, Funny

      Even the CIA knows that James Bond cannot be killed by sharks with lasers.

      --

      "I don't think it's selfish, to eat defenseless shellfish." -NOFX

  4. Re:bah! by FredDC · · Score: 4, Funny

    You see, the role of the CIA is to assassinate foreign heads of state.
    They're pretty bad at it though...
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  5. Re:bah! by joss · · Score: 5, Funny

    How do you know the CIA had nothing to do with Kennedy assassination:
    because he's dead.

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    http://rareformnewmedia.com/
  6. Re:bah! by Opportunist · · Score: 5, Funny

    You sure? I think I saw Dick Cheney's soul on EBay a while ago. Think it was counterfeit? Should I report it?

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  7. Re:A surprise? by Admiral+Ag · · Score: 5, Funny

    It makes no sense for Canada to have a military that is focused on anything other than UN peacekeeping. Now that the cold war is over, Canada has no enemies. What on earth do you need a huge military for if you have no enemies? Other than the United States (which could probably buy Canada if it really wanted to), who is in a position to invade Canada?

    Who has reason to strike Canada when Canadians will pretty much give you anything if you ask nicely and say you like hockey.

    The answer is no-one. Canada has no need for a cold war level military.

    --
    "by that I mean people who don't sit on slashdot all day wondering why everyone else isn't building robots" DECS
  8. Re:The message this sends current CIA operatives by mrbluze · · Score: 2, Funny

    No - it's sending the message "look we're a little bit naughty because we pick locks" as a distraction instead of sending the message that there are evil out of control bastards torturing people to death. The entire organisation is guilty by association and it is up to those that run it to fix those portions that would face war crimes tribunals in other situations.

    There are some crucial pieces of information missing from the released documents which the CIA are active in suppressing, including $*UFEF&*@#_**NO CARRIER**

    --
    Do it yourself, because no one else will do it yourself. [beta blockade 10-17 Feb]
  9. Re:A surprise? by fyngyrz · · Score: 2, Funny
    There might be an argument for removing a huge proportion of the money we spend on all that phallic hardware and sticking it into other activities

    ...best line in your post. I'm still laughing. :-)

    --
    I've fallen off your lawn, and I can't get up.
  10. Re:A surprise? by LaughingCoder · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ahhh, but Canada is a major exporter of oil (the world's 8th largest). And it is well known on /. that the US routinely invades countries to take their oil ... so if I were Canada I would be pretty worried.

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    The more you regulate a company, the worse its products become.
  11. Re:A surprise? by MECC · · Score: 3, Funny

    They don't have to be worried - "they're not even a real country anyway".

    --
    "We are all geniuses when we dream"
    - E.M. Cioran
  12. Re:A surprise? by El+Torico · · Score: 2, Funny
    ..."we have to spend a fortune on the military because no-one knows whether aliens might invade the earth at some point in the future".

    Actually, that's a damn decent reason. Look, we're human, so we're annoying. Some other advanced civilization is going to whack us once they watch some of our television for a while just to shut us up.

    --
    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is usually crucified.
  13. Re:A surprise? by FJGreer · · Score: 2, Funny

    One would hope there's sufficient oversight of the intel agencies by the other three branches of government (the Legislative, the Judicial, the Cheney) Yes, and I have some nice bridges to sell you...
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    Behold! Uh, what was I going to say?
  14. Re:bah! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    You know how to tell if it's genuine, right?

    The real thing will have a "Buy It Now" of $0.01 ... and nobody's buying.

  15. Re:The CIA just suddenly became honest? by notque · · Score: 2, Funny

    Would you feel better if they released information on current operations?

    Yes, with redacted names, addresses, and exact instructions about how they create things like fake identification.

    That is a much more reasonable solution than now. Let us see what goes on so that we can defend our rights, and put pressure on those who wish to take them away.

    How many lives would it have saved looking at the current declassified record? How much torture could we have prevented? Coups against democratically elected leaders?

    I say it's vital for us to have that information so that we can make informed decisions concerning what is going on.

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    http://use.perl.org