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Microsoft Claims a Billion Windows Installs by End of 2008

eldavojohn writes "Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer claimed yesterday that there will be a billion machines running Windows within a year. 'The install base of Windows computers this coming 12 months will reach 1 billion. If you stop and just think about that, parse that for a second, by the end of our fiscal year '08, there will be more PCs running Windows in the world than there are automobiles, which is at least to me kind of a mind-numbing concept.'"

23 of 365 comments (clear)

  1. I suspect the figures by jollyreaper · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does that include reinstalls?

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  2. WarezOv Industries Announces Shared Hosting Initia by Saint+Aardvark · · Score: 5, Funny

    ST. PETERSBURG - WarezOv Industries announced today a new initiative in partnership with Microsoft that promises to put shared web hosting on every desktop.

    "With Microsoft's help, we have brought web hosting services to nearly one billion PCS across the Internet," announced WarezOv CEO dRO0m@t. "Windows allows us the opportunity to bring value-add to the customer."

    WarezOv's suite of administration tools allows easy management of all aspects of web hosting, including DNS, mail services and -- most important -- failover. "By tapping into Window's remote API calls, WarezOv's tools can scale web hosting to nearly any degree, and make it easy for the hoster as well," said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. "This -- and their tool's ease of install -- is what Windows is all about."

    Free Software Foundation president and founder Richard M. Stallman was unavailable for comment. "He's talking to Google about building something similar for GNU/Linux," said a source close to Stallman.

  3. Disclaimer by Luke+Dawson · · Score: 2, Funny

    No chairs were harmed in the making of this press release.

  4. Ob by edittard · · Score: 3, Funny

    there will be more PCs running Windows in the world than there are automobiles
    To do: Insert joke about crashes.
    --
    At the bottom of the /. main page it says 'Yesterday's News'. Well they got that right.
  5. Re:How many zeroes is that? by Luke+Dawson · · Score: 5, Funny

    A Microsoft billion. They use a similar system to calculate the amount of time remaining when installing a .msi.

  6. Re:Something fishy? by arth1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Also note that he said "running". I highly doubt that claim. :-)

    Of course, he could have meant "running" as in "with scissors".

  7. They're just counting the WGA nags by Vicegrip · · Score: 3, Funny

    What they're counting is the number of times WGA pops up to confirm that your copy of Windows is valid.

    It's just retarded how many times that fucking thing pops up.... Microsoft wants to double quadruple check or something....

    User: "but you already checked!!!" ....

    MS: "yes and we're going to check again, bend over please .... you like using the computer you paid for right? We'll fix you good if you don't comply."

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  8. Re:How many zeroes is that? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Give it up. When I was at primary school in England in the mid-70's, the definition of a billion as 10^12 was already obsolete.

    When the British government announces that they've spend a billion on this or squandered a billion on that, everybody knows they mean 10^9. It doesn't occur to anybody younger than eighty that they might mean 10^12.

    You might have had a point in 1940. Now you're just being an arse. Hang on, is that you dad?

  9. Re:How many zeroes is that? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Must be the rest of the non-english-speaking world.

    All the Brits I've asked say a Billion is 1,000,000,000.

    But then the last Limey I quizzed couldn't tell me the correct color of Dennis the Menace's hair in old Blighty, so clearly he was an imposter.

  10. Energy savings by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 4, Funny

    Just think of the energy savings if they had made it the black screen of death.

  11. I thought they already accomplished this... by The+employee+can+cho · · Score: 2, Funny

    They already have 1 billion Windows installations in China, all with the same activation key.

  12. Some Details by infonography · · Score: 1, Funny

    Population about 6-7 Billion now. So lets figure that only one in 6 is gullible enough to buy Windows.

    To do first line Tech Support they will need at least 250 Million people to answer phones with 'Is the powercord plugged in?" and "Hit Ctrl-alt-delete several times till it reboots" These are the lucky ones they will have jobs for life! [till somebody builds a Linux-based AI to use an Eliza strategy to answer calls]

    We will also need a crack team of at least 50 Million Linux/Mac Users to mock Window Users full time. Honestly I think it pretty much have of the user base that engages in this. But these people will be trained professionals dammit! {I should start a magazine devoted to Pr0n and Windows Mockery, it will be bigger then Playboy, Penthouse and Southern Baptist Monthly. Talk about a wankfest)

    Coders, well need lots of them. Coders can work for anybody C++ is universal as is Java. C# and .Net programmers will be useful we just need a lot of those little yellow school buses.

    And Garbage Haulers, We're gonna need them badly!

    Finally we'll need Al Gore. (Thats an obvious one)

    --
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    1. Re:Some Details by arth1 · · Score: 2, Funny

      To do first line Tech Support they will need at least 250 Million people to answer phones with 'Is the powercord plugged in?" and "Hit Ctrl-alt-delete several times till it reboots" These are the lucky ones they will have jobs for life!

      You've obviously never worked in tech support, or you'd know that You Must Never Say "hit".

      "Press control, which is usually at the bottom left of the keyboard, yes that would be left for you, not me, and keep on holding the control key down while you with the same hand press down the key marked "ALT", which is usually two steps over to the right, and keep on holding down that too, and no, you should not have left go of the control key when pressing the alt key, yes you really need to press both at the same time, no, and holding them down, because now you need to hit Delete, which is in the general top right area of the keyboard... Hello? Hello? You hit it? Erm, how hard? Yes, I know I said you should hit it, and I am very sorry. We will come out to you with a new keyboard, and again, we are very sorry for causing this problem for you, Sir. ..."
  13. Dr. Evil? by d3ac0n · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'm sorry, but a quote like that just makes me think of Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies.

    Bill Gates: *with pinky curved up to lip* Gentlemen, we will have Windows Vista installed on ONE BEEELLIIION computers by the end of the year!

    Steve Ballmer: *wearing an eyepatch due to a ricocheting chair leg accident* But Sir, that's.. that's just...

    Bill Gates: Eeevil? *camera zooms in while dramatic music plays*

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  14. Re:Something fishy? by Yetihehe · · Score: 3, Funny

    Does Ballmer count licenses to get a high number, or conduct polls to get a true number?
    What do you think? :-)
    I think Ballmer counts licenses to get high.
    --
    Extreme Programming - Redundant Array of Inexpensive Developers
  15. If Bill Gates by infonography · · Score: 2, Funny

    Had a dollar for everything I've heard that one he'd be as rich as Bill Gates.

    --
    Sorry about the writing. Robot fingers, you know? Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #23
  16. What at egregious insult by seanadams.com · · Score: 3, Funny


    to McDonalds. When was the last time you had a Big Mac? It may not be the most nutritious thing in the world, but at least it's TASTY. I have eaten many an XP installer CD, and I can assure you it is neither.

  17. Re:I know I can count for at least 50... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    'Let me see... I had to reinstall Windows 12 times on my son's computer, 8 times on my Wife's computer, 5 times on my computer at work, 15 times on my dad's computer, and so on....

    Yeah, I can see how Microsoft can claim 1 billion installs - let's see them filter it out to "unique computers" and see where that number goes.' .. Jeez, that CD-R must be worn to the 'Mr Media' label by now!

  18. Re:Ah, don't underestimate MS by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    "...there's really no open source offering that comes remotely close to...SQL Server 2005"

    +5 Funny, anyone?

  19. It's as if... by HangingChad · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's as if a billion computers all cried out at once in terror and said, "It appears you are being suddenly silenced. Cancel or allow?"

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  20. For an estimated total of... by Analogy+Man · · Score: 2, Funny

    1,000,000,000,000,000 reboots! Is it a zillion after trillions?

    --
    When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
  21. Re:Works both ways by norminator · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, I just stuffed an egg McMuffin in my CD drive.

    That's not working out so well either.
    Idiot. That's a coffee cup holder. No wonder you're having problems.
  22. McDonalds of software by wardk · · Score: 2, Funny

    just as healthy too