Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Can You Handle 'THEY'?

Posted by Zonk on from the oh-games dept.

In a refreshing turn, over at Newsweek's LevelUp blog N'Gai has some suitably chastising commentary on the newly-announced FPS entitled simply THEY. This overly-simplistic name is accompanied by a nearly informationless press release, and reinforces the idea that whatever THEY is, it's not worth looking into. "Generally, the role of a press release is to inform. But having read the THEY press release, all we've taken away from it is hyperbole and buzzwords, assembled Mad Libs-style for maximum unintended hilarity. What is THEY? Apparently, THEY is a 'next generation mystery first person shooter for PC and next generation consoles.' Who are THEY, you ask? ''THEY' are huge--'THEY' are different--'THEY' are hostile!' How good will THEY be? It's 'so mysterious, so stunning and so amazing--that 'THEY' might become one of the most anticipated world premiere titles from this year's Games Convention!'"

1 of 100 comments (clear)

  1. Sigh... by dyslexicbunny · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Title: THEY
    Platforms: PC & next generation console
    Release date: 2008/2009
    Genre: First person mystery shooter
    Scenario: Near Future
    * next generation 3D engine
    * unique weapon system that makes you "love" your weapons
    * mysterious science fiction background story
    * diversified enemies--thrilling and intelligent
    * heroes to identify with
    * heavy usage of physics
    * destructible environment relevant for gameplay
    * haunting single player mode
    * versatile multiplayer modes

    Honestly, this pretentious crap needs to end. This doesn't make me want to purchase or play the game. Sure it's an announcement but honestly, every single buzzword is touted for every FPS game when they come out. Besides, it looks like a third-grader wrote this for a book report and copied the box on game. It provides just enough information to sound real but not enough to be useful, like this up and coming game from downtown ATL.

    Title: Protecting and Analyzing the Next-gen Transportation System (PANTS)
    Platforms: PC & next generation console
    Release date: 2008/2009
    Genre: First person strategy thriller
    Scenario: Present Time
    * next generation 3D engine
    * unique tactics system that makes you "love" planning
    * politically-charged background story
    * diversified citizens--pissed off and delayed
    * support characters with realistic backgrounds
    * mild usage of physics
    * adaptive environment relevant for gameplay
    * intellectually challenging single player mode
    * variety of multiplayer modes