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Brain Electrodes Help Injured Man To Speak Again
An anonymous reader writes "A man beaten and left for dead has recovered the power of speech thanks to the use of electrodes to stimulate brain activity. 'Experts called the results encouraging but cautioned that the experimental treatment must be tried in more patients before its value can be assessed. The researchers are already proceeding with a larger study. Before the electrodes were implanted, the man was in what doctors call a "minimally conscious state." That means he showed only occasional awareness of himself and his environment. In a coma or vegetative state, by contrast, patients show no outward signs of awareness.'"
...that it's possible to get a man to start speaking by implanting electrodes.
Now can we develop a cell phone that will implant the electrodes on its own, to get people to stop talking?
Wait, I'm confused. Are we talking about an average Microsoft customer, or a mugging victim? (possibly one and the same)
I can confirm this experimentally. Inspired by this development, I implanted electrodes into a bowl of tomato soup. No amount of deep electrical stimulation could bring the soup into anything we could recognize as consciousness, nor was its ability to communicate improved.
Possibly the failure of the deep electrical stimulation to elicit the desired response has something to do with the vegetative state of the tomatoes that were used to make the soup. With this in mind, I am going to be conducting further experiments using a crab bisque.
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
"Owww! Ouch! Aaargh! Stop shocking my braiAAAAAAAaargh! Bastards!"
Ever herd of buffalo?
You're running a big risk there. If you stare into a bisque long enough the bisque stares back at you.