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Big Brother Really Is Watching Us All

Posted by Zonk on from the hi-guys dept.

siddesu writes "The BBC has a nice high-level overview of some technologies for surveillance developed in the US and the UK. 'The US and UK governments are developing increasingly sophisticated gadgets to keep individuals under their surveillance. When it comes to technology, the US is determined to stay ahead of the game ... But it [a through-the wall sensing device in development] will also show whether someone inside a house is looking to harm you, because if they are, their heart rate will be raised. And 10 years from now, the technology will be much smarter. We'll scan a person with one of these things and tell what they're actually thinking.'"

34 of 405 comments (clear)

  1. Elevated Heart Rate? by Gabrill · · Score: 4, Funny

    Boy that surprise birthday present sure landed me in jail quick. I hope I can explain that brand new S&M outfit adequately in court!

    --
    Always going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse.
    1. Re:Elevated Heart Rate? by Joebert · · Score: 4, Funny

      Your honor after carefull consideration we've determined the defendant is of no danger to society, however the prosecution requests the defendant not be allowed within 1000 feet from any property which houses goats.

      --
      Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
    2. Re:Elevated Heart Rate? by jagdish · · Score: 5, Funny

      however the prosecution requests the defendant not be allowed within 1000 feet from any property which houses goatse.
      Fixed!

    3. Re:Elevated Heart Rate? by Toutatis · · Score: 2, Funny

      You shouldn't worry about court if you're going to jail in a S&M outfit.
      Have fun!

  2. This is when... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'll become a millionaire overnight selling my own brand of tin-foil clothing!

    CAUTION: May cook organs/skin during warm weather.

    1. Re:This is when... by Joebert · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's gettin hot in here.
      So take off your tinfoil cloths.

      --
      Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
    2. Re:This is when... by Chief+Wongoller · · Score: 2, Funny

      Better make the clothing reversable! Remember, the shiny side reflects and the dull side absorbes. Wear the shiny side out and not only do you stay cool, you will also reflect the surveyling beam back to the operator, so he/she then unwittingly reads their own thoughts. Er no, "hey this guy seems to harbour a lot of suspicions; must be a threat; lets move in now!"

    3. Re:This is when... by SevenHands · · Score: 3, Funny

      Getting into your girlfriend's pants late at night when the house is quiet would be quite a challenge when she's wearing foil panties.

    4. Re:This is when... by Joebert · · Score: 2, Funny

      Good point, anything that sounds like a candybar wrapper will wake kids out of a dead sleep.

      --
      Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
  3. I hope they really can read my mind.... by timmarhy · · Score: 5, Funny

    .. I'll just think of tub girl and goatse.cx man all day. take that fuckers.

    --
    If you mod me down, I will become more powerful than you can imagine....
    1. Re:I hope they really can read my mind.... by HairyNevus · · Score: 2, Funny

      You really think the G-Men at the wheel of this aren't into that?

      --
      You were critically hit for no damage. The bruise will look nice, and maybe the scars will make good party talk.
    2. Re:I hope they really can read my mind.... by dircha · · Score: 4, Funny

      "No, don't talk - don't say anything. I'm filling my mind with a picture of beating their huge, misshapen heads to pulp!. Thoughts so primitive they block out everything else; I'm filling my mind with hate!"

      Captain Pike salutes you :)

    3. Re:I hope they really can read my mind.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Yeah, imagine if the post had been "Muslims."

      It probably would have sparked a fucking political debate about the Iraq war and George Bush.

    4. Re:I hope they really can read my mind.... by MarsDefenseMinister · · Score: 2, Funny

      Harmful would be those things that cause your wife to divorce you and your kids to hate you because you're locked up for molesting them.

      Do you disagree?

      --
      No weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men.-Ronald Reagan
  4. Re:Just like the polygraph by timmarhy · · Score: 2, Funny
    I know, doesn't it make you just gag at the sheer stupidity of it? trouble is people are idiots, and will lap this shit up. I know i can a. think of something else b. think of more then one thing at a time to really fuck them up.

    My bet is if they ever really could tell what people are thinking... it would go something like this - FOOD,SEX,FOOD,SEX,FOOD,SEX...

    --
    If you mod me down, I will become more powerful than you can imagine....
  5. Big brother is so cliche by Raul654 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Big brother has nothing on Ceiling cat

    --


    To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
    --E.C. Stanton
  6. Chicken Joke by Dragonflite · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Big Brother: I've seen many chickens cross many roads. Please specify.

  7. ummmm...... by SlashdotCrackPot · · Score: 2, Funny

    FTFA: "will also show whether someone inside a house is looking to harm you, because if they are, their heart rate will be raised"

    ummmm.... or how about scared shitless from the armed men outside that 'may' want to cause you harm for raising a heart rate!!!

  8. tags? by thatskinnyguy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Where's the tags "tinfoilhatbait" or "overlordbait"?

    --
    The game.
  9. The Inevitable by istartedi · · Score: 3, Funny

    We'll scan a person with one of these things and tell what they're actually thinking.'"

    Jim, Jim, what's Jack thinking?

    Umm...

    Well, come-on, Jim. What is it?

    Umm... he's thinking that we're a bunch of lamers because we're scanning him with the BB-1600, and everybody who's anybody has a MBB-8, which is what he's got.

    Ah, come on. They both work. The MBB-8 just comes in more colors.

    Yeah. Mac fan boys. Piss me off.

    --
    For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
  10. If Big Brother is Watching Me... by fm6 · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...he really needs to get a life!

  11. So much for sex by The+Angry+Mick · · Score: 3, Funny

    But it [a through-the wall sensing device in development] will also show whether someone inside a house is looking to harm you, because if they are, their heart rate will be raised.

    So your significant other is on the other side of the wall whispering sweet nothings and describing the slinky nightie she currently has on, your elevated heart rate could get you in trouble? Sounds to me like the government just killed seduction.

    --

    I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly, alert.

    1. Re:So much for sex by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      So your significant other is on the other side of the wall whispering sweet nothings and describing the slinky nightie she currently has on and a SWAT officer kicks down the door, about twenty of them rush in, filling up the room, waving batons and tazers around and firing automatic weapons straight up into the ceiling (I hope you don't live in an apartment) before finally tossing a few canisters of tear gas and jumping out the window. Boy, talk about your mood killers.
  12. Windmill tilting anyone? by infonography · · Score: 3, Funny

    You are getting confused with Scientologists that already do this when they play with their e-meters. Hmm, I smell a lawsuit. And there are a lot of Ex-SCO lawyers out of work right now.

    "Clearly they are infringing on my client's religious rights and patented technology."

    --
    Sorry about the writing. Robot fingers, you know? Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #23
  13. Re:Just like the polygraph by Harmonious+Botch · · Score: 5, Funny

    You forgot ROCK&ROLL! I forget a lot of things that come after drugs.
  14. Re:I For One... by Foobar+of+Borg · · Score: 3, Funny

    *insert obligatory overlord related joke here* Come on people, I know it will eventually be posted, but it's only funny for so long.
    In Soviet Russia, obligatory joke posts YOU!
    --
    Similar to the upcoming US election results
  15. Re:Ineffective by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 4, Funny

    Terrorists will simply train themselves to remain calm and lower their heartrate.

    Well of course, because they've been tipped off now! Which means the submitter of this article is guilty of treason. Just like the traitors among us who tipped off the terrorists that we were reading everyone's email and listening in on their phone calls.

    Now Bin Laden will release some yoga tapes and our intelligence gathering will be back to square one.

  16. 50 years from now... by Jafafa+Hots · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...will saying someone wears a tin foil hat be an expression of how wise you think they are?

    --
    This space available.
  17. WTF?!?!? by IonOtter · · Score: 2, Funny

    He glanced at me quizzically, noticing my apprehension.

    "Yeah, I know," he said. "It sounds very Star Trekkish, but that's what's ahead."

    Excuse me?!?

    Precisely which episode of Star Trek??? Mirror, Mirror or The Wire?

    --
    [End Of Line]
  18. Re:They can do this now, sort of. by ivaldes3 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sure, using a very large, very powerful, very loud, super-cooled helium filled magnet that costs several million dollars and requires a special room so that metal objects don't come flying into it with the possibility of killing any occupant in the tunnel.

    -- IV

    --
    http://www.LinuxMedNews.com Revolutionizing Medical Education and Practice.
  19. As Joe C. would say: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    You can keep your tinfoil hat on!

  20. Re:Ineffective by TheLink · · Score: 4, Funny

    Spock is that you?

    'Nurse, I have been hit by a taxi, it is most logical to assume that I am seriously damaged, for example my left anterior cruciate ligaments appear to be FUBARed, to use the popular technical term'.

    Seriously though, it's interesting to hear that he apparently does ok - I'd thought pain would be useful in helping people learn from their mistakes.

    --
  21. Re:Ineffective by digitig · · Score: 2, Funny

    completely immune to excitement [...] father [...] How did that happen, then?
    --
    Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
  22. How do you know by microbox · · Score: 2, Funny

    the concept of telepathy is pure fiction and could not work because no two people have the same native internal base dictionary

    How do you know that telepathy relies on an internal base dictionary?

    --

    Like all pain, suffering is a signal that something isn't right