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Your Chance to be an Astronaut

codewarrior78411 writes "NASA posted a hiring notice for new astronauts Tuesday, on usajobs.com, seeking for the first time in almost 30 years men and women to fly aboard spacecraft other than the shuttle. The agency is seeking 10 to 15 new faces for three to six-month missions aboard the international space station." Requirements include 'Must be a U.S. citizen between 5-foot-2 and 6-foot-3 in height (to squeeze into Russia's three-passenger Soyuz capsule)' 'At least a bachelor's degree in engineering, a biological or physical science, or mathematics' 'three years of relevant professional experience' and most interestingly 'Vision correctable to 20/20. For the first time, the space agency will consider applicants who have undergone successful refractive eye surgery.'

26 of 302 comments (clear)

  1. (this joke will appear a thousand times) by pzs · · Score: 5, Funny

    Must be willing to wear a diaper on long drives?

    Peter

    1. Re:(this joke will appear a thousand times) by eniac42 · · Score: 5, Funny

      (sigh).. Must be able to convert feet to meters..

      --
      "A nation that forgets its past is doomed to repeat it." - Churchill
    2. Re:(this joke will appear a thousand times) by rbarreira · · Score: 2, Funny

      Also, must be able to drink a lot of alcohol?

      --

      The AACS key is NOT 0xF606EEFD628B1CA427BEA93A9CA9773F
    3. Re:(this joke will appear a thousand times) by Oktober+Sunset · · Score: 4, Funny

      The days of launching chimps into space are long over.

    4. Re:(this joke will appear a thousand times) by jamstar7 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah, John Glenn already had his second ride.

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    5. Re:(this joke will appear a thousand times) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Dam Good one Hoover!
  2. height discrimination! by syrinx · · Score: 2, Funny

    Must be a U.S. citizen between 5-foot-2 and 6-foot-3 in height

    As a 6'4" person (that's 0.384 rods for those of you not used to measuring in feet!), I think I am going to sue for height discrimination.

    First I find out that government safety regulations in cars only apply to people 6'3" and under, and now this...

    --
    Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
    1. Re:height discrimination! by sgt+scrub · · Score: 2, Funny

      I TOTALLY Agree! I'm a short, fat, balding, middle age, heavy drinker and smoker AND they won't even take ME! I mean WTF!

      --
      Having to work for a living is the root of all evil.
    2. Re:height discrimination! by zerocool^ · · Score: 2, Funny


      I TOTALLY Agree! I'm a short, fat, balding, middle age, heavy drinker and smoker AND they won't even take ME! I mean WTF!

      Dad?!?!?

      --
      sig?
    3. Re:height discrimination! by Like2Byte · · Score: 2, Funny

      I TOTALLY Agree! I'm a short, {{huff}} fat, balding, middle age, {{huff}} heavy drinker and {{cough}} smoker AND they won't even take ME! {{huff, huff, huff}} I mean WTF! {{heart explodes}}


      Fixed that for you.
  3. I qualify by ILuvRamen · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'm 5'11", a US citizen, have a degree in PC and web programming and another in web deisng (hey they need some IT staff up there, come on), my vision is perfect, and I'll show up to the tryouts in a diaper and carrying a knife. They'll have to hire me!

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  4. One-way or two-way missions? by nmg196 · · Score: 3, Funny

    If the missions are one-way, I think my boss would be an excellent candidate. I'll even fill out his application for him.

    1. Re:One-way or two-way missions? by IndustrialComplex · · Score: 2, Funny

      Then again, what the hell am I going to do on Mars for 100 years? Unless there's slashdot.
      But the latency would be terrible ;)

      Heh, which was kind of my point. It would have to be a pretty necessary mission to require a one way trip to Mars.

      Though there are some interesting things you could do on Mars if you were there, by yourself, for 100 years. For instance, you could go check out what is under that rock... or that other rock... Make some footprints in the dust, that could be fun.

      My goal would probably be to go moderately insane, and send back messages of how I had organized the Martian populace and warned them about the intentions of Earth.

      --
      Out of modpoints but really liked a post? 1BDkF6TtmmeZ3yqXbz9yhdYVqRYnwFoXDj
  5. I wouldn't... by tryfan · · Score: 3, Funny

    leave my job at Stargate Command for this!

  6. Here's my chance by pak9rabid · · Score: 4, Funny

    Here's my chance to show up that smug Inanimate Carbon Rod.

  7. Re:Damn it! by click2005 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I've watched every episode of Star Trek, Stargate and Lost in Space. I'm sure that qualifies as experience.

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  8. Salary by dlhm · · Score: 3, Funny

    The Salary kind of sucks for being strapped to a bomb....

    --
    Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit!
    1. Re:Salary by EnsilZah · · Score: 2, Funny

      I live in Israel, people in this area do it for a much lower salary and much higher chances of successful detonation.

  9. Where's my penis shaped ship? by monkeyboythom · · Score: 2, Funny

    Great. I have this sneaky suspicion that this cattle call will end up as network reality show contest.

  10. Re:What about Color Blindess? by Hanners1979 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Anyways, it would be nice if NASA allowed Color Blind people to also fly and become astronauts.

    It would be nice until they ask you to press the green 'launch' button, and you press the red 'self-destruct' button instead. ;)

    (P.S. I'm colour-blind myself, so I figure I'm allowed to make bad jokes like that)

  11. Re:So why the degree req'mt? by mcmonkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why not instead start hiring ironworkers and folks who actually know WTF they're doing in high-up construction techniques? They're still (according to accounts) building the ISS, right?

    Maybe because this is the real-world NASA and not a Ben Afflec movie?

  12. Re:Damn it! by trolltalk.com · · Score: 3, Funny

    "I've watched every episode of Star Trek, Stargate and Lost in Space. I'm sure that qualifies as experience."

    Stargate takes away points. You need stuff with real rocket science, so you'll know what someone means when they say "They've gone plaid!"

  13. "Mission control.. by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 2, Funny

    ..I regret to inform you that our manned expedition to the Red Planet Mars has encountered a slight difficulty.."

  14. Re:Damn it! by IndustrialComplex · · Score: 4, Funny

    Day 45: All he does is write in that little notebook. Why Why Why who. No. ...

    Day 75: I think Dr. Evers knows about my connection with the galactic federal space donkeys. Operation F. Y. C. may have to be accelerated. ...

    Day 83: Mishnog's suggestion to use the vacuum of space to preserve the meat was a success!

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  15. Flamebait? by Penguinisto · · Score: 1, Funny
    Cripes - who gave all the postdocs mod points this morning?

    /P

    --
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  16. Re:Damn it! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Are you single? ;-)