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Microsoft Wants To Read Your Brain
Simon Night writes "Microsoft has entered the realm of brain machine interfaces, attempting to patent a method of classifying brain states from EEG input. 'Human beings are often poor reporters of their own actions,' the patent application notes, so reading directly from your brain is a preferred option."
...where the Bill-Gates-as-Borg icon truly applies.
"'Human beings are often poor reporters of their own actions,' the patent application notes, so reading directly from your brain is a preferred option." Translated: Humans are often trying to keep personal secrets from us, so stealing it all directly from your brain is a preferred option.
"It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like help?"
No no no, that was a sense of joy and happiness
Yours truly, Microsoft.
'Human beings are often poor reporters of their own actions,'
as the fundamental technology, you have nothing to fear.
Engineering is the art of compromise.
*Tink tink tink!*
GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU ROTTEN PAPER CLIP!
*Tink tink tink!*
ARGHH!!! It's in my head! Aarrggghhh!
*Tink tink tink!*
~~ Behold the flying cow with a rail gun! ~~
Just imagine what happens if Clippy tries to cut and paste your thoughts into the letter.
Before:
"Dear Cindy: I'm afraid this won't work, our differences are too much"
After:
"Dear B**ch: Don't even dream about it, I found a girl who really knows how to- F***! How the heck do I turn this off! Don't"
e-mail sent.
Holy cow, I was just joking around, honest! Now I'm gonna have IP lawyers knocking down my door. And's it's not like I'm going to be able to lie to get myself out of this one 'cus, like, they'd know.
We told you, but you just called us paranoiacs and laughed at our tinfoil hats! This fall, the fashion accessory is foil!
--
Given enough personal experience, all stereotypes are shallow.
"This copy of Windows will expire in 10 days unless you register your brain with Microsoft"
Table-ized A.I.