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Google to Offer Online Personal Health Records

Posted by samzenpus on from the google-your-liver-profile dept.

hhavensteincw writes "Less than two weeks after Microsoft announced plans to offer personal health records, Google announced today that it plans to offer online personal health records to help patients tote and store their own x-rays and other health data. Google made the announcement Wednesday at the Web 2.0 Summit in San Francisco."

18 of 242 comments (clear)

  1. Re:MS Pulled an apple by carguy84 · · Score: 1, Funny

    Knowing google's scouring abilities, I'm sure they already have everyone's anyway.

  2. Just think... by Perseid · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...of all the targeted ads you'll get if you have erectile dysfunction...

    1. Re:Just think... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      but I don't! I really don't! See, this is what I've been trying to explain to spammers all along - I would love to purchase their merchandise and take interest in expanding their business, but I really can get boners without much of a hassle. I could never understant the idea of bombarding me with mails after I have explained that no, thank you, I DONT have a medical condition. You can't force me to have a problem by sending me mail, you know. When will they understand?

  3. Ob quote! by garcia · · Score: 4, Funny

    I can't believe I'm about to quote this movie, I really never thought it would happen... From Roadhouse:

    Doc: Do you always carry your medical record around with you?
    Dalton: Saves time.

    Now, if only we could have a story that I could relate the sex scene in the back room of the bar to. "But I'm on my break!"

  4. Imagine... by Rhoads47 · · Score: 1, Funny

    Imagine the AdSense possibilities! (Image of XRay on screen) Ads: It looks like you have a concussion. Click here to find out more concussion.info Get your XRay evaluated by our e-forum of over 12,000 board-certified specialists. WebMD.com Looking for xrays? Find exactly what you want today. ebay.com

  5. Bad News by quokkapox · · Score: 2, Funny

    Caskets
    Looking for Caskets?
    Find exactly what you want today!
    www.eBay.com

    Life Insurance
    Compare rates from top companies.
    Save up to 70% on life insurance.
    www.insurance.com

    --
    it's a blue bright blue Saturday hey hey
  6. Good on Google.. by dilby · · Score: 3, Funny

    For finally finding a shark to jump.

    --
    This post patent pending.
  7. Re:Data mining by gaspyy · · Score: 3, Funny

    Data mining, when done well, can be very beneficial.
    Somehow, all I can think of is more targeted ads for Viagra instead.

  8. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Geeze, you're sure right. I Googled 'anal warts' and their first result was "Hi, Ed, who lives at 1425 Maryland Avenue. For $50, we won't tell your wife you queried about this."

  9. Re:Translation by Scruffy+Dan · · Score: 3, Funny

    it's been done
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/thevoyagers/518750492/

    --
    Just another crappy blog
  10. New Google ads by martin-boundary · · Score: 3, Funny
    And here are the new targeted Google ads for various demographics:

    Gambler demographic: You seem to be having some broken kneecaps. Would you like to buy the book '12 easy tips on how to repay your 30% loans before the end of the week, guaranteed'?

    Soccer mom demographic: You seem to be having a broken hipbone. Would you like to buy the book '12 easy excuses to tell your husband when your secret lover is too rough in bed'?

    School nerd demographic: You seem to be having a broken finger. Would you like to buy the book '12 easy ways to teach your football team a lesson they'll remember for a long time'?

    Protester demographic: You seem to be having a broken arm. Would you like to buy the book '12 easy ways to taunt the cops safely in any street march'?

    Soldier demographic: You seem to be having a broken foot. Would you like to buy the book '12 easy ways to break doors in during house to house combat'?

  11. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    If it did that, I would pop up a roomba-sized bat and Google for trash can.

  12. Re:Dear Google, dear Microsoft, by roguetrick · · Score: 2, Funny

    I just checked the database, looks like you're already dead.

    --
    -The world would be a better place if everyone had a hoverboard
  13. Re:Decisions, decisions... by nyekulturniy · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'd get you an evil meter, but it might not be calibrated, anyone has a pure 1000 kiloNazi signal to check with? The Cheyney reading is off the meter...

    --
    Nyekulturniy... Proudly confusing readers and editors since 1981!
  14. Re:Translation by penix1 · · Score: 2, Funny

    The problem then becomes one of relevance...

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Where+are+my+keys%3F&btnG=Google+Search

    returns:

    Results 1 - 10 of about 509,000,000 for Where are my keys?

    Are you really telling me there are 509,000,000 places they can be? Sounds like you will be searching for a while there...

    --
    This is a sig. This is only a sig. Had this been an actual sig you would have been informed where to tune for more sigs.
  15. Re:Translation by russ1337 · · Score: 5, Funny

    we might even be able to track our teenagers and spouses...

    You don't need to track your wife...

    she's at my place.
  16. Re:Translation by Dekortage · · Score: 5, Funny

    You don't need to track your wife... she's at my place.

    I know. Gives me more time to spend with my girlfriends.

    --
    $nice = $webHosting + $domainNames + $sslCerts
  17. Re:Translation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    Geeze, you're sure right. I Googled 'anal warts' and their first result was "Hi, Ed, who lives at 1425 Maryland Avenue. For $50, we won't tell your wife you queried about this."

    Actually, "Ed", you Googled for 'anal lube', not anal warts.