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Note To Criminals — Don't Call Tech Support

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the caught-short dept.

Billosaur writes "Darwin Awards, here he comes: Ars Technica has up a story about a would-be identity thief who did himself in by calling tech support about printer drivers. Timothy Short must have thought he'd hit the mother-lode when he stole a PC and a Digimarc printer from the Missouri Department of Revenue, perhaps with dreams of cranking out thousands of fake ids. Problem: he could not unlock the computer he stole and without the necessary drivers, he couldn't use the printer. Ever resourceful, Short called Digimarc tech support a couple of days later (twice), which brought him to the attention of a Secret Service agent, who recognized his voice from a recording of the calls. Short now faces a $250,000 fine and up to 10 years in prison."

33 of 266 comments (clear)

  1. Ha. by MrCrassic · · Score: 1, Funny

    I wonder how far he would have gotten printing those IDs, even with the driver...

    At least that's one petty thief removed for the good of everyone.

    1. Re:Ha. by xaxa · · Score: 5, Funny

      I think he's outdone by the the Chinese gang who took £26billion of fake English notes (in the non-existant £500,000 denomination) to the Bank of England and asked for it in current currency. How stupid do you have to be to take fake, non-existant currency to the Bank of England to convert it to current money? That's the central bank in England, and issues all the currency.

  2. oblig. by Shteven · · Score: 3, Funny

    haha

    1. Re:oblig. by mw13068 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Invalid markup!

      Ha ha!

    2. Re:oblig. by stoolpigeon · · Score: 5, Funny

      there should be a word for someone who has only ever made one logged in comment at slashdot and completely failed it in the process.

      --
      It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
    3. Re:oblig. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      There is: Shteven

    4. Re:oblig. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      You spelled Nelson wrong dingleberry!!!

    5. Re:oblig. by stoolpigeon · · Score: 4, Funny

      before this day is over, I will tell someone 'You just pulled a shteven'. Yeah- my entertainment threshold is just that low.

      --
      It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
    6. Re:oblig. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I like how he also managed to spell "Nelson" wrong. That kind of losership requires true talent. :-)

    7. Re:oblig. by foobsr · · Score: 4, Funny

      losership

      Even Google thinks 'Did you mean: leadership'. Maybe failing miserably comes in handy these days.

      CC.

      --
      TaijiQuan (Huang, 5 loosenings)
    8. Re:oblig. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Ohh god, a new meme.

    9. Re:oblig. by zippthorne · · Score: 2, Funny

      Parent has used "Neilson" tags. He should be modded overrated.

      --
      Can you be Even More Awesome?!
    10. Re:oblig. by mstahl · · Score: 3, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, comment fails to post YOU!

      Wait wait, mods, I've got more! I, for one, welcome our new one failed comment posting overlords!

    11. Re:oblig. by LocutusMIT · · Score: 2, Funny

      Even Google thinks 'Did you mean: leadership'. Maybe failing miserably comes in handy these days. Hey, now. "Losership" is a perfectly cromulent word.
  3. Fake ID's by jcicora · · Score: 3, Funny

    Geez, talk about a close call for people living in Misery...I mean Missouri

    1. Re:Fake ID's by JK_the_Slacker · · Score: 2, Funny

      I've got a news flash for him: I'm from Missouri. Nobody outside the state knows it exists, and everybody in the state knows each other. Either way, nobody would have believed he was who he said he was anyway.

      Note: St. Louis doesn't count. They seceded years ago.

      --
      I'm waiting for a "-1 somepeoplejustshouldn'tgetmodprivileges" meta-moderation.
    2. Re:Fake ID's by cromar · · Score: 2, Funny

      Oh, I didn't know you were on here, JK. How's your mom?

      -A fellow Missourian

    3. Re:Fake ID's by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I once suggested to a government official that they should change the official tagline for Missouri to "Missouri loves company", a request that didnt go over too well.

  4. Low IQ... by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Probably used too much leaded gasoline when he was younger.

    --
    It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
    1. Re:Low IQ... by blackcoot · · Score: 3, Funny

      there isn't a jury around that wouldn't buy a temporary insanity plea in that case.

      not that i have a raging psychotic hatred for dell tech support.

  5. Please Hold by Trub68 · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Hello tech support, yes I'll hold" KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK "Hmmm must be the pizza"

  6. Re:Did the printer castrate him? by s.bots · · Score: 2, Funny

    unless being stupid is outlawed. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, except for idiots."
    I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood, and laugh at the stupidity that was once rampant our nation.
    I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of idiocy, will be transformed into an oasis of intelligence.
    I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their minds.
    I have a dream today.
  7. DAMN! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    And here I thought getting printer drivers from HP was tough.

  8. Re:Did the printer castrate him? by twistedcubic · · Score: 4, Funny

    He probably suffers from lead poisoning, that's all. No need to trample on the disabled.

  9. Missouri by djdavetrouble · · Score: 2, Funny

    I don't get it, can you Show Me?

    --
    music lover since 1969
  10. Finally! by kcarlin · · Score: 5, Funny

    A positive result from calling vendor tech support! And resolution in record time!

    --
    Free Adam Smith! (Or best offer.)
  11. It Takes More Than Just Technology... by morari · · Score: 4, Funny

    I remember a few years back when a group of preps and jocks from the local private school were busted for selling fake IDs. These kids' mommies and daddies had their bank accounts stuffed well enough for them to afford to properly produce, en mass, said IDs. The fakes were so perfectly manufactured that the only way anyone ever caught on is that the drunken little snobs failed to spell "license" correctly!

    --
    "He who can destroy a thing, controls a thing." --Paul Atreides, Dune
    1. Re:It Takes More Than Just Technology... by andyr · · Score: 4, Funny

      I tell them Faeces. It takes them a little while to register ..

      --
      Andy Rabagliati
    2. Re:It Takes More Than Just Technology... by tehcyder · · Score: 2, Funny

      One night at a club the bouncer scrutinized the ID and then asked me what my sign is.
      God, I hate that, it's such a cheesy chat-up line.
      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
  12. This was a triumph! by clambake · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS

  13. hey hey HEY! by geekoid · · Score: 3, Funny

    This is Slashdot, we don't have room for reasonable discourse!

    --
    The Kruger Dunning explains most post on /. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
  14. Re:harsh by Marcos+Eliziario · · Score: 2, Funny

    Just out of curiousity:
    Did you buy your relatively low ID from someone on ebay?
    I mean... it doesn't take too much time on /. to learn that people don't RTFA.

    --
    Your ad could be here!
  15. A vicious circle... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Can't print a drivers license without the drivers. Can't get drivers without a drivers license.