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Ballmer Calls Android a "Press Release"
Bergkamp10 writes "Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer tried to shoot down Google's new mobile platform at a press conference in Tokyo. Ballmer called Android a mere 'press release' at present, and said the mobile platform market is 'Microsoft's world.' Ballmer dodged requests to comment on specifics of the Android software platform, preferring instead to highlight the successes of the Windows Mobile platform which he said is on 150 different handsets and is available from over 100 different mobile operators. 'Well of course their efforts are just some words on paper right now, it's hard to do a very clear comparison [with Windows Mobile],' Ballmer said. 'Right now they have a press release, we have many, many millions of customers, great software, many hardware devices and they're welcome in our world,' he added."
Ballmer called Android a mere 'press release' at present
That's rich, coming from one of the greatest producers of vaporware in the world.
LOOK OUT!!!
(grabs advocate_one and pushes him to the floor as a chair whooshes overhead)
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
A translation might be in order:
"Right now they have a press release" means "their design is already better than ours".
"we have many, many millions of customers" means "alot of people are looking for an alternative"
"great software" means "bloated software"
"many hardware devices" means "we're still trying to build a good one"
" and they're welcome in our world" means "they're violating our patents!".
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The requested URL
Yeah I was joking... and here it is today and the joke has become real. Or surreal.
Balls of crystal, I tell ya! Where's that Randi guy?
-mcgrew
mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
mobile computing is their world is it? now let's see..
/their/ world. no one would say that now.
/their/ area. i doubt it now.
- everyone had hotmail ids once; it would seem webmail was
- most people never heard of another OS than Windoze. it would seem PCs were
- IE was the browser king. it would imply that they owned all of www. is IE doing that well now?
- let's not even get started on zune..
The only thing that I can say MS has a decent product is their Office package (at least for now..); everywhere else they suck - big time.
That's just unnatural...
- Despite popular opinion, I am not perfect.
-- Don't Tase me, bro!
Right now they have a press release
TRANSLATION: so here is one my own. Their contains dates and promises with a history to back it up. Mine contains nothing.
we have many, many millions of customers
TRANSLATION: we got less then 10% of the market, we are so small Apple might overtake us with just one phone.
great software
TRANSLATION: Oh come one, am I trying to kid. It is the sucks and the only people that use Windows Mobile are those who absolutly have too. If it was so great we wouldn't be such a small player. Really, go to a european or japanese mobile phone dealer and try to find a MS phone. Thank god for our lock on the desktop or we would really be nothing. Curse you blackberry!
many hardware devices
TRANSLATION: we just can't shift them so we keep trying with lots of new devices hoping one day to get it right. Curse you steve jobs for doing it in one!
they're welcome in our world
TRANSLATION: and in our world the sky is pink with polka dots Wheee! I am not crazy, I am an airplane!
So no, nothing he says is actually a lie, it is just... man it is hard to remain serious about this. The symbian one was laughable enough, this is just, it is almost sad.
I have to keep telling myself it is his job to say that and that he probably knows that it is all a big lie, because if he really believes what he says he really needs to seek proffesional help.
Some people point out that he has no choice but to say this, he needs to reasue stockholders. That is true. Up to a point. But if you are a MS stockholder, does this reassure you? Because it just sends up a huge red flag to me that this guy has no clue how to deal with the fact that MS Windows Mobile just ain't doing that well and is now facing two new competitors (Apple and Google) who seem to have a very big clue, wrapper around a stick and are paddling his flabby ass.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
I know how you feel. I also didn't get an offer.
In the course of every project, it will become necessary to shoot the scientists and begin production.
I mean, Apple has this tiny, thin, sexy iPhone. Microsoft has a coffee table. There's got to be a joke in there somewhere.
Anyway, MS doesn't build phone or PC hardware. So any implementation of their "surface" work would have to come from them passing the tech on to their manufacturing partners.
Interested in a Flash-based MAME front end? Visit mame.danzbb.com
... but things went very wrong and got released. May God have mercy on your soul, Ballmer.